Amazon boss Jeff Bezos could face prison over knife sales to children
Harsher sentences will also apply to bosses of online stores who let under-18s buy deadly weapons in Home Office crackdown
Archived version: https://archive.is/20250219072429/https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2025/02/19/jeff-bezos-could-face-prison-amazon-knife-sales-children/
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https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2025/02/19/jeff-bezos-could-face-prison-amazon-knife-sales-children/Open linkView original on lemmy.zip
31 replies
This headline is so far from reality it should be institutionalized as a danger to itself and society.
Odds are actually less than a meteorite randomly killing him , and those odds are literally astronomical.
Billionaires don't go to prison, silly. Billionaires are above the law.
But not above a guillotine
But billionaires are below the blade of the guillotine
lol like hell he will. The oligarchs are clearly in control of the US
that's a pardoning
That’s an appointment to a cabinet position.
Chief Secretary of Knife Sales to Minors
I don't think we should be posting such pornographic fictions in this community.
As an American: lol. Lmao even. The European mind cannot comprehend the unvarnished corruption of the American legal system
I can't help but picture some stereotypical British street urchin child (think Oliver Twist) buying a knife from Amazon.
And the avatar for Amazon just carelessly hands a child a long jagged grooved blade that serves no apparent purpose but gleeful, sadistic murder
Mall ninja shit, my friend.
Sometimes the solution to all our problems is a 10" 440A steel knife modeled after the one used by the sadistic villain in the 1986 action thriller "Cobra" starring Sylvester Stallone at his Stalloniest
I'll bark like a dog for 7days if he spent even a single day in jail
FTFY.
UK politics is its own brand of out there
0.00000000000% Chance.
He'd buy the Judge, the Jury, the Courthouse, The News.
More likely, it'll become retroactively legal to sell katanas to newborns.
He doesn't have to. He already paid off Trump, who will pardon him.
Could, but won't. At most he'd pay a fine that would be nothing but pocket change to him.
Americans give guns to their kids and let them play with pit bulls. This wouldn't mean a thing to them.
Yeah fucking right, the laws are just for us plebs.
Sure he could, sure...
Does this mean online knife stores are gonna start carding?
I would be fucking ASTOUNDED if this happened.
Shyeeah,. When monkeys fly out of my butt.
I'm pretty sure he paid millions to Trump to prevent prison
Let's hope so
Can we get a real publication instead of this fantastical comic book?