Spyke
lemmy.world

Me trying to raise kids

Well there's your first problem

60
lemmy.world

Also "trying to excel in my work." Put in the same effort that your boss compensates you for.

27

The trick of to have a net worth of at least $10M. It’s easy after that

13
Skullgridreply
lemmy.world

I can't exactly cut the baby in half and jam it back into my fucking urethra.

17

Yeah, but now it's past the point when republicans care about it, so you can at least try without too much issue.

4

The secret is to give up on having time for yourself and find the zen in the things you have to do anyway.

You ever wonder why dads tend to become all about their yard, their bbq and DIY? Because if I have to mow the fucking lawn, feed my family and fix shit all the fucking time I might as well find the satisfaction in a job well done.

33
lemm.ee

I solved it by not having kids, seriously best thing I done in my life so far.

17
lemmy.world

I know this is the least important one on there, but I don't get this thing lately where people talk about "staying hydrated" like it's some big challenge they have to put effort towards. Like... get thirsty, drink water?

16

The trick is that you need to drink more than just "im thirsty"

2
lemmy.world

instead of trying to excel at work, just libreoffice calc instead! badum ts

14
Serpentreply
feddit.uk

Tbf, I was confused by the wording and your joke clarified it for me.

4

Same. Honestly I wasn't even confused. I use a lot of excel at work, I just assumed it's a verb now

4

I have failed the last one, going to go get some personal time off from work today, then maybe I can finally get some sleep.

Edit: got it, now I can rest, well shitpost on Lemmy as therapy.

10
lemmy.world

"excel in my work" would be using a spreadsheet. "accel in my work" would be improving your skills/effort.

edit: corrected. I was wrong.

-3

You reached the end