Ngl I’ve been walking to work one time and thought I needed to fart and followed through with liquid shit down my legs. Now I was always late cause it was a shit job, so I just rang and told them the truth and that I was going for a shower. When I got to work every fucker was cheering about me shitting myself.
I’ve had two other occasions where I’ve gone from normal to a sweaty, nauseous mess with an incredible urge to poop. One time did it in some grass after getting off the tram for an unscheduled stop and once in a train bathroom where I thought i would be found passed out covered in shit 👀 💩
Everyone is going to be talking about it like I can't believe I saw some guy about to shit off the side of the bridge. Then about 1 hour later everyone will have forgotten and only you remember now.
On Tuesday I felt like I badly needed to shit. I was working at a hospital and the secluded bathroom was out of toilet paper so I went to one in the main part of the hospital. It was just farts. Possibly the most gas I've ever had. I have hemorrhoids pretty bad and farting while sitting on a toilet is the worst thing for making them very angry.
Plus mad people were walking by and stopping to have conversations by the door, so many people listened to me fart 40 times.
Good to hear that you know your options and what to do/eat.
Do you use water/bidet instead op TP?
And yes, surgery is annoying with the weeks healing after the procedure.
Good luck in any case!
Call me old fashioned, but I don't think pulling your pants down to fart is more embarrassing than doing explosive diarrhea into the Thames.
old fashioned
Diarrhea is a lot more understandable reason to do that. A fart you could've just sneakily let go while walking
Well..
Nah, it's understandable
Sounds like a normal day in London for those other people.
Exactly, I mean it's the British food, they eat beans for breakfast for example. Explosive diarrhea must be illness number one.
Only for the weak with 0 fiber in their diet.
How you eat beans and still manage to get 0 fiber is beyond me.
That's meat beans, maybe
illness number one in London is whatever strain has developed sentience on the tube
we're too broke for that
Not quite a shitpost but almost one. A fartpost.
Let's be generous and go with a shartpost.
I'd be more embarrassed to end up being a performance artist than the bare bottomed bridge farter tbh.
Now we have an alias
I've got to make it alliterative - The bare bottomed bridge beefer.
I have no idea why I just posted that, but it made me giggle.
It made me giggle too teehee
Ideally that would just be their aka but unfortunately that's not the whimsy we live in.
At least in the 90s you could have got on Eurotrash with your act.
Probably in the segment just after a Belgian naturist with tits like windsocks.
And right before the guy who makes authentic models of Austrian villages with his own faeces.
Soon a queue will form and you can charge 5 quid at the door
I'm sure there's a curator at the Tate Modern that would entertain this argument.
At one point they are an arrangement of stacked plastic boxes. So it's clear they'll take anything
I think we should commission a statue
"Titta"
As long as he farted in the general direction of France, he'd be OK.
Well we know he's not got a suit job.
Wrong. He's clearly an average CEO
No, a CEO would've made sure a boat was passing umder the bridge
Bird instincts
Never gamble on a fart.
This is why i need to move back to a big city, i mss this kind of interaction with my fellow humans.
Maybe this is the same guy on holiday ?
https://thethaiger.com/news/national/fat-farang-strips-naked-and-poops-in-bangkok-shrine-video
Ngl I’ve been walking to work one time and thought I needed to fart and followed through with liquid shit down my legs. Now I was always late cause it was a shit job, so I just rang and told them the truth and that I was going for a shower. When I got to work every fucker was cheering about me shitting myself.
I’ve had two other occasions where I’ve gone from normal to a sweaty, nauseous mess with an incredible urge to poop. One time did it in some grass after getting off the tram for an unscheduled stop and once in a train bathroom where I thought i would be found passed out covered in shit 👀 💩
Have you considered your diet, my good man?
Tell me more?
Diet is pretty poor. I rarely eat a lot.
Everyone is going to be talking about it like I can't believe I saw some guy about to shit off the side of the bridge. Then about 1 hour later everyone will have forgotten and only you remember now.
On Tuesday I felt like I badly needed to shit. I was working at a hospital and the secluded bathroom was out of toilet paper so I went to one in the main part of the hospital. It was just farts. Possibly the most gas I've ever had. I have hemorrhoids pretty bad and farting while sitting on a toilet is the worst thing for making them very angry.
Plus mad people were walking by and stopping to have conversations by the door, so many people listened to me fart 40 times.
Your username weirdly checks out...
And on a side note: there are a lot of ways to cure/alleviate piles. What are your weapons of choice?
I just try to get plenty of water and fiber. I need surgery but I can't imagine having time for that. Work is frantic.
Good to hear that you know your options and what to do/eat. Do you use water/bidet instead op TP? And yes, surgery is annoying with the weeks healing after the procedure. Good luck in any case!
As usual, real comedy is in the comment section.
Ah yes, I believe this is called "Much Ado About Nothing" in Stratford-upon-Avon.
ive done this but with poop
Projectile shit into the river?
yea in general
"Cherrio fine chap, pip pip and all that rot!" Hold your head high fine sir.