Spyke
ukcasual·UKCasualbyNi

Reminder it's Father's day tomorrow!

What has everyone got for their dad's, who are usually particularly hard to buy for?

Also, to add a caveat, totally fine to have a complicated relationship with your dad. If this is the case, please be kind to yourself and ignore this post!

View original on kbin.social
Nireply
kbin.social

I'm with you here, I have a very complicated guilt filled relationship with my dad and often this time of year causes issues. I always think it's nice to focus on the positive father figures or even mentors in your life and reach out to show appreciation and know none of this is on you!

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TeaHandsreply
lemmy.world

Eh it's been 11 years since he went off the rails so I'm pretty much over it. Sucks around his bday but on weekends like this I'm mostly just happy to not have to spend time and money on an awkward meal out like most people I know. Gonna lounge in pyjamas instead and nobody can even make me feel bad for it lol.

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Nireply
kbin.social

Honestly I admire you so much for this. I am feeling the guilt to go have to spend time with my dad over spending time with my partner (who is an amazing dad). As you say it's always awkward and toxic but still the guilt remains. Great that are prioritising yourself, have a wonderful weekend!

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TeaHandsreply
lemmy.world

Well I hope that whatever you do, it's as bearable as possible and you get to come home to your awesome partner asap. I don't know your situation so can't comment any further on that, just remember your feelings in all of this matter too.

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Thank you, yours to. Hope you have a lovely weekend!

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gramoreply
kbin.social

same here, I haven't heard from him in 8 years, not sure if he's still alive

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Nireply
kbin.social

Yeah it's so tricky, people seem to assume that you should have a great relationship with your parents, I certainly don't . Instead, treat yourself nicely this weekend!

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Bunjogreply
kbin.social

Agreed! Love for your parent should be earned not assumed.

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Absolutely! We expect people to be reasonable and treat us with respect in all other relationships, why not with our families?

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e-raticreply
kbin.social

My local football club I support had a father's day promotion, but a couple weeks beforehand they sent out an email allowing people to opt out. Really nice to see

0

Things like, allowing people to opt out, and accepting possible family estrangment needs to be normalised.

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aeternumreply
kbin.social

My dad ran out on us when i was a toddler. So yeah. That's how my father's day is gonna be.

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In the best traditions of British understatement....that's a bit of a bugger :(

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Sorry to hear that, best to treat yourself extra kindly on sunday.

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lemmy.world

Bought a part to fix his car door window mechanism and told him I'll fix it. I don't really know a thing about fixing cars so he'll probably be losing a window.

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Hah! I hope not, and wish you luck fixing the door. It's a very thoughtful idea, I think we couild all use a few less chores and jobs to sort out!

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Joe
kbin.social

I got him a bag of coffee. Unfortunately I then discovered another bag of coffee I got him for the last occasion that I forgot to give him

So a trip to John Lewis later and he's got a rice cooker. Luckily my sister isn't in the city so as long as I see him I win by default

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It doesn't always have to be a competition you know!

(says the oldest grandchild, whose grandmother has drunkenly confirmed that means she'll always automatically be the favourite 🕶 )

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Hah win by default, well congratulations on thay. Also rice cookers are amazing, we use ours way more than we thought we would.

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feddit.uk

My dad died last year so nothing. But… I didn’t ever get him anything. He was of the opinion that he had a birthday and that was enough and that Father’s Day was just an excuse to sell cards.

Personally, I like receiving gifts and my kids are still kids so they get excited by proxy. I like single malt whisky so there’s always that (though obviously their mum has to get involved).

And I like to cook (come and check out https://feddit.uk/c/cooking_with_fire if you’re into barbecue of any sort!) So there’s always some little gadget or ingredient (hot sauce or something). They can get me.

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Nireply
kbin.social

I'm sorry for you loss!

My partner is the same, likes getting things from our kid. It's very cute seeing father's day from their perspective. My partner is very into bbqing (although it always brings on rain) so thanks for your suggestion.

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Kids are the best thing for making festivities (birthdays, Christmas, Halloween, etc) exciting again. They get so into them.

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Chewbeckyreply
lemmy.world

Yep my dad always asks for socks and liquorice allsorts. Every damn year, for birthday too.

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He obviously knows what he wants! You can get sock subscriptions, maybe find one with fancy patterns

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Socks are awesome and you've got to think he knows what he wants! You can get fancy sock subscriptions now

2

I usually get a bottle of whatever spirit he's low on. Slightly ironic in that he has almost every spirit but the personal kind.

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Spirits are always a good shout, so many options!

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feddit.uk

I get my dad every year what he always wanted.

A life without me in it.

5

Sorry to hear that, it can be a very complicated time to year. Best to be extra kind to yourself!

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lemmy.nopro.be

Was chatting to a friend of mine last night who bought his dad a set of canvas prints of family pets over the years which is remarkably thoughtful and made me feel a bit shit about getting mine a moonpig card and a bottle of rum.

4

That's more than enough, no one should be stressing themselves financially for father's day!

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I love your caveat. My relationship with my dad is very complex, and it brings me so much anxiety to go through father's day every year. Same for mother's day, but father's day is upcoming so it's more pressing for me right now.

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I feel the same and especially around this time of year there is lot of pressure to have this hallmark style relationship that is often so unrealistic for so many. I think either celebrate the mentors in your life regardless of who they are and/or treat yourself extra nicely (well we should all be doing the last point).

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lemmy.world

Luckily there's a lot of Mandalorian merch out there and my dad is really into that. Pretty easy this year!

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Nice! Always great when the gift options are so clear

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lemmy.world

A bunch of unique hot sauces. Last time I saw him he seemed to be experimenting and enjoying different ones, assumed I should... spice it up, rather than the usual chocolates.

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Nireply
kbin.social

That is a great idea, really different from the usual stuff. Maybe you can have a taste and compare on Sunday

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Rule 1 of gifts, always buy something you slightly benefit from 😂

0

My other half and kid got me a Father's Day card and gift (whoopee cushion) last week. Their mistake; I expect another this week!

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Hah! I'm sure your kid will love having a second father's day - you might have to re-remind them!

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feddit.uk

I didn’t get my dad a gift, just popped a card in the post. Now I’m thinking maybe I’m a crap daughter and I’ll ruminate on that for a while.

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feddit.uk

I'm popping out to get a card this morning, and a stamp, and I'll have to sign it and post it before last post so it stands a chance of getting there only a little late.

Dad knows I am there for him when the shit hits the fan. He's visiting my sister tomorrow.

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Sounds great, I bought all my cards last min yesterday.... All thay really matters is knowing you'll be there for him

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juniperreply
feddit.uk

Yes! To be fair he was going to come down for a visit (we’re 100 miles apart) but he wants to go to the track and watch motorbike racing instead. I’m just happy he’ll be doing what he enjoys. :)

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Nireply
kbin.social

To be fair, that sounds absolutely amazing and great to get doing something together!

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juniperreply
feddit.uk

I won’t be going with him lol, he’s 100 miles up north - where I’m originally from.

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Sorry I misread! At least you know he's doing something he lives doing!

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I find dad's particularly tricky to buy for! And you are right, they get harder to buy for as they get older. I've found myself leaning more on days out and experiences. Maybe a meal?

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You could try using Punkpost if it’s available where you are. They’re beautiful and you can include photos and other goodies if you want.

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He'll love the card and the thought. I'm only getting my dad a card, but my partner I've got a day out. If its playing on your mind maybe offer to take him out to a place he'd like.

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Cinnerreply
lemmy.world

Maybe this isn't the right thing to do considering this is casualuk, but because it's showing at the top of all, and many users are new and don't yet automatically look at the sub name, I want to put a small reminder:

Fathers day is on Sunday the 18th in America. Also the 19th is a federal holiday.

Carry on friends across the pond, just want to prevent fediverse newbies from panicking.

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Great service you are doing thanks! Hope we didn't cause too many people to panic!

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Nope, but it is in the UK. Always confusing to see reminders when it's actually for another place!

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Sounds like a great idea! All the dads in my life seem to like IPA at the moment

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kbin.social

A red wine which is hopefully decent. I had to text and ask him though as I never really know what he would want, and I know he doesn't care much about the holiday. I've not been the best in terms of making the effort to see him lately so popping round for a bit of lunch today to drop it off.

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It's difficult to find time in modern life, everything is so busy and rushed. I'm sure he'll love the wine and the visit!

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kbin.social

I never knew my dad, so I'm off the hook for buying a gift. I have 2 small children of my own tho, so I'll be spending the day with those little shits before I have some tattoo work done. That is my gift to myself.

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Sounds like the best day, seeing father's day through your kids eyes is something else. Is the tattoo something complicated?

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feddit.uk

The man loves haggis, so I've managed to find haggis spiced chocolate. Not sure if it's a good idea but should get a laugh

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Nireply
kbin.social

That is an amazing idea! Have you tried some already? I can't even imagine what that'll be like

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He's not opened it yet, I think he's maybe a little afraid...

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Get something useful if you can't think of something "good". Some kind of flashlight or tool might be a good bet. I've also gotten my dad tech stuff before. Another thing could be merch for some sports team they follow.

For metal items you could have it engraved. I've done that on a multi tool before. Common for things like watches too.

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Grsat ideas, thank you! Flashlights are always really useful, I'm always losing mine.

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That sounds truly wonderful and thoughtful. Hope you have a lovely weekend together!

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feddit.uk

Nothing. It's usually just a card, but as he's away this week, not even that. Maybe a WhatsApp message will do.

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The thought is enough! Maybe you can catch up and do something fun when he's back

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kbin.social

@Ni first a smack upside the head for getting sucked into a project without end. and then i'm at a store next just a beer. I'm partial to steelhead from siera and madriver brewing.

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His project sounds stressful for everyone! Not familiar with those beers, everyone seems to be into IPAs around me!

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