I don't think He/Him are neopronouns as the prefix neo- means new. Surely His would be old (paleopronouns), or timeless (aeternuspronouns), rather than new
Out of curiosity, would you say My pronouns are neopronouns? I use capitalised pronouns too. And I'm also a god. Not a capital-G god, just a regular polytheistic kind. Does the acceptance of our current society play a role in whether they're neopronouns? Are they new when I use them, and old when Deus uses them?
Newness is the quality of having been recently created or having started existing recently. The deific pronouns surely came before the standard canon of human/mortal pronouns, just as their subject deities predate humanity, perhaps both having always existed. It doesn't have anything to do with societal acceptance.
Uh, pronouns are just words. They don't have some innate quality that means they had to exist when the entities those pronouns describe began. He/Him is likely about as old as he/him.
The original post described them as neopronouns, which is a category of pronouns that have arisen recently due to changes in how we understand and describe gender. Pronouns like xe/xer, for example. The pronouns for a timeless being that predates humanity would hardly be "new" by any standard. I was having fun with the idea they would be old or eternal pronouns by comparison to Humanity's pronouns. You took the joke too seriously.
In mormonism if you don't do their special ceremonies and have multiple wives, you lose your dick for eternity. I learned that in Sunday school when I was 12 lol.
Mormon theology also pretty much just cuts the Gordian knot proposed in this post by saying, "Fuck yeah he's got a dick. Uses it ALL THE TIME." I believe that a "perfected body" was the verbiage I was taught in Sunday School. Tritheistic heresy, Shmitheistic Shmeresy....
Yeah but with significantly less blackjack and hookers and significantly more foreskins. Cause you didn't think there was only one foreskin on display for all those pilgrims, did you?
I know people like to call the holy trinity absurd because of the multiple entities being 1 entity, but I would like to direct your attention to plural people. Holy-trinity-like situations actually occur in real people. Even with different genders.
Technically, you can't say that He/Him are God's preferred pronouns because the capitalization doesn't appear in the oldest texts. They are more a matter of tradition than of reality. However, you could say that's even worse because Christians have embraced these neopronouns on God's behalf.
There are several other gods and goddesses named in the old testament, so I'm willing to buy that the Christian god has a dick, and it's for inserting into goddesses. And given the personality on display by said diety, I'd wager said dick could pass through the eye of a needle and still have room for the camel.
The whole capitalization of pronouns thing was pretty much entirely made up around the 19th century anyway (as well as the capitalizing the word "Lord", which the King James version invented outright), so you can argue that protestant churches are following a woke plot to change the pronouns of the christian god as well.
LORD vs Lord does hold some distinction in the source material. IIRC LORD is for uses of the divine name whereas the other ones are not. But then you have the whole, El, Elohim, tetragrammaton, god, lord, etc. mess with them probably not historically referring to the same entity to begin with, but that whole book is a mess.
I mean it was up in the sky about a month ago. The last time it was visible was apparently in ancient Egypt. If you missed it, to bad. The news said it wouldn't be visible again until he gets a prostate exam in over a thousand years
That only applies to humans. So Jesus was certainly cut (and uncontroversially), but if God the Father has genitalia, he may not be; same for the holy ghost.
According to Mormons, god is literally male, with (perfect) male genitalia. There is also a god--the-mother, who is female, and is both secret and sacred (they really don't like talking about her), and also utterly subservient to god the father, because of course she is. According to Mormon theology, both gods were once mortal, and were raised up to godhood by their godly parents; Mormons--if they're good enough--can go to Mormon super-heaven, where they will also become gods in their own right. Before everyone was born physically, they were born spiritually, in... More or less the same way babies are born now, except in heaven, to a heavenly mom. And there were hundreds of billions of spirit babies, so I guess that god the dad and god the mom really like sex or something? The implications start getting really, really weird, very fast. Which is part of the reason why Mormons don't usually want to talk about stuff like this with people that aren't Mormon.
I believe that the quote is, "As man is, so once was god. As god is, so man can become," or something like that.
If God has no cock, then being male doesn't need a cock to be real.
If he has a cock, then does he only use it to pee? Or does he use it to both pee and fuck? Does that mean he had sexual relations with a minor who was also married already?
Does the Trinity have a cock? Or is it only the father or is it only the son? You can clearly see that the son had a cock. But did he keep it as a ghost cock? Do they have 3 different cocks? Or do they share a cock?
Since they supposedly are virgin, do they have to jack off? Do they jack off at the same time? Or does one have to hide somewhere to jack off? Or are they okay just jacking off in front of the others?
What do they pee? If you take a shower in god pee, do you smell good? Or bad?
And why all these questions about pee anyway...how about poo? Is God poo good or bad? If it's bad, doesn't that mean that God has bad things inside of him? Does that mean they gotta eat something? What do they eat? Can we eat it too? How come God let's people die of hunger if he has a source of God food?
Pretty sure the official position in most sects, including Catholicism, is that God is not "male", but singular male pronouns are nevertheless the only "correct" pronouns for "Him".
I would assume since gods are omnipotent, their dicks are always the perfect size for the situation. Or perhaps they are inconceivably huge. Since they seem to like swinging them around so much.
Pronouns? God don't need no stinking pronouns. God got dick.
We assume omnipotence from Gods but it's not wholly true. Most gods out in the world of myth are limited in their reach and ability. If they are in a pantheon then often that implies that they have no direct power over each other and thus they are not all powerful.
Interestingly omnicence or omnipresence is not something claimed even by the monotheistic religions. No God is actually all seeing. Plenty of times in script things have been hidden from God or something has to be told to God to bring it to his attention.
This has nothing to do with his dick persay... Just the assumption of omnipotence. If the Christian God exists he coulda just be lying about what he's capable of and what human is gunna be able to check the math? Guy seems like the kind of dick who would pull that shit.
The gods were omnipotent to humans, not always so much to other gods perhaps. In polytheistic religions the pantheon was often comprised of siblings of some sort. But the top god, like Zeus or Odin, where all seeing and all knowing if they wanted to be. But they often did didn't really care that much as long as they were fat and happy.
Neither Zeus nor Odin is canonically all seeing or all knowing. Zeus was tricked by Prometheus by accepting bones wrapped in fat as his sacrifice leaving what he really wanted, the nice juicy meat, as the human's share. He had to get word of Persephone's last known location from Apollo and has routinely been tricked by other clever Gods and mortals in his myth.
Odin was not able to discover the plot behind the murder of Baldur until the confession of Loki nor did he know the location of Thor's hammer when it was stolen (they had to ask Heimdal). He may have sacrificed his eye to trade one form of perception for another... But we aren't really let on to what that perception actually is. In Norse myth only Mimir is functionally all seeing and Odin takes his council from his severed head, he has to ask for information he doesn't implicitly know himself.
There is a difference between simply very knowledgeable or powerful and actual omniscience or omnipotence it is not a matter of scale based on perspective, it's a boolean function - one is either all powerful/all knowing or they are not. If ever a god or other character needs to ask someone for information, is tricked by something obscured or fails to know something they are automatically proven to not be omniscient... In storytelling omniscience tends to make for very boring characters because it means that most conflicts are automatically resolved and the cleverness or stupidity of a God is undercut when they simply know everything. Odin's stories are ones where he goes and scouts, learns, adapts, formulates a plan and then gets away with murder because we are supposed to admire the process.
I believe that that's a decision made by translators of the bible. Hebrew doesn't have lowercase letters, and the Greek versions of the New Testament that I found don't capitalize as much. And are they distinct?
Yeah, it’s more of an act of reverence or deference. However, it is a pronoun (cis-gendered, and preferred) which some people believe never occurs in the Bible.
so God themself while referred to in English as a he refers to themselves as ' I am ' technically I think we should be using they them pronouns but English was traditionally a gendered language.
Jesus on the other hand 100% had a dick. Whether he kept that or not, post ascension that's up for interpretation but Jesus was 100% biologically male.
Yes, and the church went nuts displaying the "Holy Relic" that was his supposed foreskin for many, many years, in many churches... At the same time. It got so out of control that people started to wonder why the church was so obsessed with Jesus's dick. So the Pope finally got a clue, commanded a stop to the practice, and threatened to excommunicate anyone who spoke about it afterward. Ah, Christianity. Good times.
In the late 17th century the Vatican librarian Leo Allatius wrote a treatise entitled De Praeputio Domini Nostri Jesu Christi Diatriba (A Discussion of the Foreskin of Our Lord Jesus Christ), claiming that the Holy Prepuce ascended, like Jesus himself, and was transformed into the rings of Saturn.
Jesus on the other hand 100% had a dick. [...] Jesus was 100% biologically male.
Oh did they find his body?
Wouldn't it be more reasonable to conclude that the probability of Jesus being
biologically male equals the human average of males being biologically male? Ie 99.5%.
Couldn't his radical compassion for outcasts and the downtrodden be related to personal struggles growing up with gender dysphoria?
If you believe he was conceived in a virgin, wouldn't it be MORE likely that he had XX chromosomes?
The Bible is not accurate regarding Jesus' early life.
I don't think it's wrong to exercise an iota of skepticism.
Was Luke there at the circumcision? What was his source?
Wouldn't Jesus being trans and Luke being misinformed (or actually trying to avoid outting him) explain why there isn't really any testimony about Jesus's life during puberty? It was an incredibly misogynistic era right? Is it inconceivable for a person without a penis to try to pass as a man in that era?
If a person can better appreciate Jesus by understanding him as a trans-man should a christian tell them they're wrong? Does it put them in spiritual jeopardy? Is it dishonest to say "maybe"? I don't think so.
My personal head canon is that Jesus was a transgender man (no Y chromosome). The “this is my Son, in whom I am well pleased” marks when God finally accepts his Son’s gender identity, and lets him start his ministry (and hooks him up with HRT).
He could still be intersex AFAB. PCOS/CAH are both extremely common and you can end up with a clitoris that looks pretty close to a peen0r. Admittedly, that doesn’t make the circumscision part that much better - but well realistic, it’s gotta have happened at some point.
Under Trinitarianism, God would be a they/them, because they're literally several people.
According to the common understanding of the doctrine of virgin birth, Mary got impregnated through the Holy Spirit rather than The Father rawdogging her. This suggests that the Holy Spirit is a dick and thus probably male.
The Father is, according to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, not a man or a woman. That being said, neither Hebrew nor Aramaic nor Koine Greek have gender-neutral pronouns (except perhaps calling The Father "it" in Koine Greek, which would be hilarious but sadly would not be approved of by a killjoy like Paul).
"The sword of God, the blood of the lamb, vengeance is mine, millions of dead motherfuckers, all because they gave the wrong answer to the God question.
'You believe in God?'
Why should every part of God need a purpose? What does efficiency mean in the face of unlimited power (palpatine.jpeg), or simplicity in the face of omniscience? Why does God have a penis? Cause he wanted one I guess. They are nice for peeing too.
Peeing implies waste, which implies imperfection. If god were really God, his body would be 100% efficient and he wouldn't consume anything he didn't need.
Maybe the pee is not waste, but spontaneously created to God's will. " I want to pee, sure would be nice if I had a penis right now" - a diety that does not plan ahead, probably.
Nah, in its internal logic, Chalcedonean Christianity doesn't have this problem. Jesus is defined as fully human and fully divine, and peeing is just part of being human.
Chalcedonian Christianity is also Nicene, i.e., Trinitarian: one being in three cosubstantial persons. They share the divine cock and balls, one would say.
It's not more heretical to claim that jesus wasn't entirely human, quite the opposite in fact. It's a very old theological debate of homoousianism vs heteroousianism vs homoiousianism (same substance, different substance, similar substance). This debate was settled in the 4th century and Arianism (heteroousianism) was rejected
Homoousianism - god the father is of the same substance as Christ, is the most prevalent vision nowadays, which means that christ is purely divine and not human
In Exodus, Moses asked to see God's face, and was not allowed to. God told him he would allow Moses to see his "back" instead. When I was a boy at Yeshiva, the prevailing wisdom was that God showed Moses the back of his neck, and his Tefilin knot. The Tefilin contains passages relating the Shema, and my Rabbis connected it back to how God has a devotion of his own to Israel in his tefilin (which this source also does).
The tefilin is a rite only permitted for men to practice, so I guess that's ones thing for this meme. But the word used for back, אֲחֹרָ֑י, is more accurately translated as "butt." Now why would God need a butt?
This is old Testament by the way. The J source for those who care, who often portrays God as a little earthier than the others.
Hey christofash men, if everybody is entitled to their own personal and private relationship with god, and you should love god as he loves you, it’s totally legal for your wife to think about god’s massive peener while you’re having sex strictly for the purposes of procreation. Just noodle on that for a bit.
Fu̇nilı inu̇f, ð Moṙmėnz ƿᵫd hæv ð lıſt tceu̇bėl ƿið ðiſ ƿėn. Ðıṙ vṙjėn v ð greıtṙ ſpıritcuėl wṙld hæz ė hevenlı mėðṙ tu. Ėkoṙdıŋ t Knowing Better, C'z n ſupṙ impoṙtent, b ð Moṙmėnz þıŋk it'ſ nuıſ t no C'z aut ðeıṙ.
::: spoiler spoiler
Funnily enough, the Mormons would have the least trouble with this one. Their version of the greater sporitual world has a heavenly mother too. According to Knowing Better, she's not super important, but the Mormons think it's nice to know she's out there.
:::
I don't think He/Him are neopronouns as the prefix neo- means new. Surely His would be old (paleopronouns), or timeless (aeternuspronouns), rather than new
Relative to eternity, the invention of the english language is pretty new
Out of curiosity, would you say My pronouns are neopronouns? I use capitalised pronouns too. And I'm also a god. Not a capital-G god, just a regular polytheistic kind. Does the acceptance of our current society play a role in whether they're neopronouns? Are they new when I use them, and old when Deus uses them?
you need serious help
Wine is cheaper than therapy.
Thank you. You're welcome to join the soulist movement and help Me overthrow realism. http://soulism.net
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder
https://medium.com/@viridiangrail/anarcho-narcissism-b647c8062173
That was an interesting read, thanks for sharing. The attempt to draw parallels between anti-narcissism and anti-semitism are really gross though.
Why is that?
Newness is the quality of having been recently created or having started existing recently. The deific pronouns surely came before the standard canon of human/mortal pronouns, just as their subject deities predate humanity, perhaps both having always existed. It doesn't have anything to do with societal acceptance.
Uh, pronouns are just words. They don't have some innate quality that means they had to exist when the entities those pronouns describe began. He/Him is likely about as old as he/him.
The original post described them as neopronouns, which is a category of pronouns that have arisen recently due to changes in how we understand and describe gender. Pronouns like xe/xer, for example. The pronouns for a timeless being that predates humanity would hardly be "new" by any standard. I was having fun with the idea they would be old or eternal pronouns by comparison to Humanity's pronouns. You took the joke too seriously.
In mormonism if you don't do their special ceremonies and have multiple wives, you lose your dick for eternity. I learned that in Sunday school when I was 12 lol.
Mormon theology also pretty much just cuts the Gordian knot proposed in this post by saying, "Fuck yeah he's got a dick. Uses it ALL THE TIME." I believe that a "perfected body" was the verbiage I was taught in Sunday School. Tritheistic heresy, Shmitheistic Shmeresy....
Begins pissing in a whirling dervish
Kid: “Then I won’t do the ceremony because I never wanted a dick in the first place.”
Mormons: “No! That’s not how you play the game!”
You should know how much time Christian monks spent reasoning about the foreskin of Christ.
It's a lot.
Long enough to postulate that once the Jesus ascended, his foreskin ascended as well and become. The. Rings. Of. Saturn.
Sky will never be the same, won't it?
At that point it's just Greek mythology all over again.
Yeah but with significantly less blackjack and hookers and significantly more foreskins. Cause you didn't think there was only one foreskin on display for all those pilgrims, did you?
The weird thing is that a lot of christians (including the Catholic church) affirm that God "the Father" has actually no gender.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_of_God_in_Christianity
Rulers have what now?
I know people like to call the holy trinity absurd because of the multiple entities being 1 entity, but I would like to direct your attention to plural people. Holy-trinity-like situations actually occur in real people. Even with different genders.
Jesus is not god.
The holy trinity, the father, the son and the holy spirit are the same entity.
Don't know why people are down voting this. That's canonically correct in the Jewish an Muslim traditions.
Technically, you can't say that He/Him are God's preferred pronouns because the capitalization doesn't appear in the oldest texts. They are more a matter of tradition than of reality. However, you could say that's even worse because Christians have embraced these neopronouns on God's behalf.
What if He came out as trans in the 19th century and influenced the scholars to change His pronouns through dreams?
I can't really call something that's literally as old as writing a "neo-" anything. Non-standard, perhaps?
There's some interesting conversation about this topic though.
https://ell.stackexchange.com/questions/83130/does-the-word-god-get-the-pronoun-it-or-he
Oh there's plenty of Christian nationalist men thinking about "divine dick"
Considering how consistently the world gets fucked, yeah, I'd say there's a divine Dick out there doing all the fucking.
Are earthquakes the planet having an orgasm?
I'm more inclined to call it indigestion...
That's it, I'm using He/Him pronouns now.
And I bet when You do this, You'll expect us all to use the pronouns that You want us to-
Fuck.
Thank you for respecting people like Me.
One of Us! One of Us!
I wouldn't call them neopronouns, they're more like archeopronouns.
God never addressed themselves as him/her. They referred to themselves as I am.
There are definitely He pronouns in the bible
And the equivalent of we/us, as I think you’re alluding to.
There are several other gods and goddesses named in the old testament, so I'm willing to buy that the Christian god has a dick, and it's for inserting into goddesses. And given the personality on display by said diety, I'd wager said dick could pass through the eye of a needle and still have room for the camel.
I would love to see the prompt that generated this ChatGPT response.
The whole capitalization of pronouns thing was pretty much entirely made up around the 19th century anyway (as well as the capitalizing the word "Lord", which the King James version invented outright), so you can argue that protestant churches are following a woke plot to change the pronouns of the christian god as well.
LORD vs Lord does hold some distinction in the source material. IIRC LORD is for uses of the divine name whereas the other ones are not. But then you have the whole, El, Elohim, tetragrammaton, god, lord, etc. mess with them probably not historically referring to the same entity to begin with, but that whole book is a mess.
As a capitalised pronoun user, I can confirm they're woke.
Captain Kirk: "What does God need with a penis?"
Masturbate while watching you
Thy will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
"Well I get bored on my starship, same as you."
I mean it was up in the sky about a month ago. The last time it was visible was apparently in ancient Egypt. If you missed it, to bad. The news said it wouldn't be visible again until he gets a prostate exam in over a thousand years
The onion is back, baby!
Is God cut or uncut?
Cut due to Jewish tradition of circumcision.
That only applies to humans. So Jesus was certainly cut (and uncontroversially), but if God the Father has genitalia, he may not be; same for the holy ghost.
Maybe God is trans because he is simultaneously both cut and uncut
Now I’m wondering if God has a belly button….cause that would imply an umbilical cord
Nah, that would be silly.
God is more like a platypus. No nipples or bellybutton (but could surely produce milk if they felt like it), venomous, and hatched from an egg.
OR an unbiblical cord?
If you ask about gender in death, people will just look at you weird.
There's compounding evidence that a lot of religious canon was simply written by mankind as a kind of societal control.
The living should be kinder to one another.
💙
Not Mormons.
After death, men get their own planet to rule over. Women... get to be their wives.
Societal control is the name of the game, friend.
According to Mormons, god is literally male, with (perfect) male genitalia. There is also a god--the-mother, who is female, and is both secret and sacred (they really don't like talking about her), and also utterly subservient to god the father, because of course she is. According to Mormon theology, both gods were once mortal, and were raised up to godhood by their godly parents; Mormons--if they're good enough--can go to Mormon super-heaven, where they will also become gods in their own right. Before everyone was born physically, they were born spiritually, in... More or less the same way babies are born now, except in heaven, to a heavenly mom. And there were hundreds of billions of spirit babies, so I guess that god the dad and god the mom really like sex or something? The implications start getting really, really weird, very fast. Which is part of the reason why Mormons don't usually want to talk about stuff like this with people that aren't Mormon.
I believe that the quote is, "As man is, so once was god. As god is, so man can become," or something like that.
Source: was Mormon for >25 years.
Congrats for getting out I guess?
To paraphrase Nietzsche, that which doesn't kill you psychologically scars you and leaves you with a lifetime of therapy bills.
Hey pills are great, apparently quite a few people like them. Can you recommend any?
Currently I recommend bupropion and atomoxetine, but once I get an appointment with a psychiatrist, I'll probably recommend lisdexamphetamine.
Modafanil is pretty great too.
This is excellent:
If God has no cock, then being male doesn't need a cock to be real.
If he has a cock, then does he only use it to pee? Or does he use it to both pee and fuck? Does that mean he had sexual relations with a minor who was also married already?
Does the Trinity have a cock? Or is it only the father or is it only the son? You can clearly see that the son had a cock. But did he keep it as a ghost cock? Do they have 3 different cocks? Or do they share a cock?
Since they supposedly are virgin, do they have to jack off? Do they jack off at the same time? Or does one have to hide somewhere to jack off? Or are they okay just jacking off in front of the others?
What do they pee? If you take a shower in god pee, do you smell good? Or bad?
And why all these questions about pee anyway...how about poo? Is God poo good or bad? If it's bad, doesn't that mean that God has bad things inside of him? Does that mean they gotta eat something? What do they eat? Can we eat it too? How come God let's people die of hunger if he has a source of God food?
Pretty sure the official position in most sects, including Catholicism, is that God is not "male", but singular male pronouns are nevertheless the only "correct" pronouns for "Him".
God created both men and women in his image, so he must have biological gender traits from both.
Intersex God!!!! That implies intersex people are divine! Now if only Christians would stop trying to "fix" God's most divine creations...
Divine full-package futanari confirmed
I would assume since gods are omnipotent, their dicks are always the perfect size for the situation. Or perhaps they are inconceivably huge. Since they seem to like swinging them around so much.
Pronouns? God don't need no stinking pronouns. God got dick.
We assume omnipotence from Gods but it's not wholly true. Most gods out in the world of myth are limited in their reach and ability. If they are in a pantheon then often that implies that they have no direct power over each other and thus they are not all powerful.
Interestingly omnicence or omnipresence is not something claimed even by the monotheistic religions. No God is actually all seeing. Plenty of times in script things have been hidden from God or something has to be told to God to bring it to his attention.
This has nothing to do with his dick persay... Just the assumption of omnipotence. If the Christian God exists he coulda just be lying about what he's capable of and what human is gunna be able to check the math? Guy seems like the kind of dick who would pull that shit.
The gods were omnipotent to humans, not always so much to other gods perhaps. In polytheistic religions the pantheon was often comprised of siblings of some sort. But the top god, like Zeus or Odin, where all seeing and all knowing if they wanted to be. But they often did didn't really care that much as long as they were fat and happy.
Neither Zeus nor Odin is canonically all seeing or all knowing. Zeus was tricked by Prometheus by accepting bones wrapped in fat as his sacrifice leaving what he really wanted, the nice juicy meat, as the human's share. He had to get word of Persephone's last known location from Apollo and has routinely been tricked by other clever Gods and mortals in his myth.
Odin was not able to discover the plot behind the murder of Baldur until the confession of Loki nor did he know the location of Thor's hammer when it was stolen (they had to ask Heimdal). He may have sacrificed his eye to trade one form of perception for another... But we aren't really let on to what that perception actually is. In Norse myth only Mimir is functionally all seeing and Odin takes his council from his severed head, he has to ask for information he doesn't implicitly know himself.
There is a difference between simply very knowledgeable or powerful and actual omniscience or omnipotence it is not a matter of scale based on perspective, it's a boolean function - one is either all powerful/all knowing or they are not. If ever a god or other character needs to ask someone for information, is tricked by something obscured or fails to know something they are automatically proven to not be omniscient... In storytelling omniscience tends to make for very boring characters because it means that most conflicts are automatically resolved and the cleverness or stupidity of a God is undercut when they simply know everything. Odin's stories are ones where he goes and scouts, learns, adapts, formulates a plan and then gets away with murder because we are supposed to admire the process.
I can follow this, up to
I believe that that's a decision made by translators of the bible. Hebrew doesn't have lowercase letters, and the Greek versions of the New Testament that I found don't capitalize as much. And are they distinct?
Yeah, it’s more of an act of reverence or deference. However, it is a pronoun (cis-gendered, and preferred) which some people believe never occurs in the Bible.
You see, god stoked his divine dick and then, there came a big bang and billions of galaxy came out of the ejaculated foam.
Well the Holy Spirit 100% has a dick given he was the one that inseminated Mary.
How do you know he didn't use in vitro fertilization?
In vitro means in an artificial environment. What would God make that could be considered artificial?
Velveeta.
Well the church is Christ's bride so we can only assume it's going to get dicked down.
Want to know why life is always fucking you? If God has a dick, his dick would be omnipresent therefore you're constantly being dicked by God.
Can god sling a dick so big even he can't rub one out?
I thought that's where the biblically accurate angels come into play?
Couple of fun facts about this :
so God themself while referred to in English as a he refers to themselves as ' I am ' technically I think we should be using they them pronouns but English was traditionally a gendered language.
Jesus on the other hand 100% had a dick. Whether he kept that or not, post ascension that's up for interpretation but Jesus was 100% biologically male.
Yes, and the church went nuts displaying the "Holy Relic" that was his supposed foreskin for many, many years, in many churches... At the same time. It got so out of control that people started to wonder why the church was so obsessed with Jesus's dick. So the Pope finally got a clue, commanded a stop to the practice, and threatened to excommunicate anyone who spoke about it afterward. Ah, Christianity. Good times.
In the late 17th century the Vatican librarian Leo Allatius wrote a treatise entitled De Praeputio Domini Nostri Jesu Christi Diatriba (A Discussion of the Foreskin of Our Lord Jesus Christ), claiming that the Holy Prepuce ascended, like Jesus himself, and was transformed into the rings of Saturn.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_Prepuce
The article also contains this gem:
Oh did they find his body?
Wouldn't it be more reasonable to conclude that the probability of Jesus being biologically male equals the human average of males being biologically male? Ie 99.5%.
Couldn't his radical compassion for outcasts and the downtrodden be related to personal struggles growing up with gender dysphoria?
If you believe he was conceived in a virgin, wouldn't it be MORE likely that he had XX chromosomes?
He is circumcised according to Luke gospel, so the dick biblically accurate.
The Bible is not accurate regarding Jesus' early life.
I don't think it's wrong to exercise an iota of skepticism.
Was Luke there at the circumcision? What was his source?
Wouldn't Jesus being trans and Luke being misinformed (or actually trying to avoid outting him) explain why there isn't really any testimony about Jesus's life during puberty? It was an incredibly misogynistic era right? Is it inconceivable for a person without a penis to try to pass as a man in that era?
If a person can better appreciate Jesus by understanding him as a trans-man should a christian tell them they're wrong? Does it put them in spiritual jeopardy? Is it dishonest to say "maybe"? I don't think so.
We are discussing biological sex as in the parts we are not discussing gender.
Yeah, and I'm positing that the probability he did not have a penis is at least 0.5%.
My personal head canon is that Jesus was a transgender man (no Y chromosome). The “this is my Son, in whom I am well pleased” marks when God finally accepts his Son’s gender identity, and lets him start his ministry (and hooks him up with HRT).
He could still be intersex AFAB. PCOS/CAH are both extremely common and you can end up with a clitoris that looks pretty close to a peen0r. Admittedly, that doesn’t make the circumscision part that much better - but well realistic, it’s gotta have happened at some point.
*Hits the Blessed Waterpipe of Panaji*
Under Trinitarianism, God would be a they/them, because they're literally several people.
According to the common understanding of the doctrine of virgin birth, Mary got impregnated through the Holy Spirit rather than The Father rawdogging her. This suggests that the Holy Spirit is a dick and thus probably male.
The Father is, according to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, not a man or a woman. That being said, neither Hebrew nor Aramaic nor Koine Greek have gender-neutral pronouns (except perhaps calling The Father "it" in Koine Greek, which would be hilarious but sadly would not be approved of by a killjoy like Paul).
I think this is very relevant to this discussion https://youtu.be/qUb0JnEsOHQ
I was thinking of the exact same video.
...i like the way you think
"The sword of God, the blood of the lamb, vengeance is mine, millions of dead motherfuckers, all because they gave the wrong answer to the God question. 'You believe in God?'
'No.'
BANG Dead.
'You believe in God?'
'Yes.'
'You believe in my God?'
'No.'
BANG Dead.
'My God has a bigger dick than your God!'"
-George Carlin
Why should every part of God need a purpose? What does efficiency mean in the face of unlimited power (palpatine.jpeg), or simplicity in the face of omniscience? Why does God have a penis? Cause he wanted one I guess. They are nice for peeing too.
Peeing implies waste, which implies imperfection. If god were really God, his body would be 100% efficient and he wouldn't consume anything he didn't need.
Maybe the pee is not waste, but spontaneously created to God's will. " I want to pee, sure would be nice if I had a penis right now" - a diety that does not plan ahead, probably.
Well God, that's pretty sexist. You don't need a penis to pee.
Nah, in its internal logic, Chalcedonean Christianity doesn't have this problem. Jesus is defined as fully human and fully divine, and peeing is just part of being human.
Jesus and God are two different entities, we were discussing "The Father".
Chalcedonian Christianity is also Nicene, i.e., Trinitarian: one being in three cosubstantial persons. They share the divine cock and balls, one would say.
Oh, so Jesus just had one nut, the Holy Ghost had the other one, and God obviously had the Heavenly Shaft. Got it.
One man's waste is another man's gold...
It's not more heretical to claim that jesus wasn't entirely human, quite the opposite in fact. It's a very old theological debate of homoousianism vs heteroousianism vs homoiousianism (same substance, different substance, similar substance). This debate was settled in the 4th century and Arianism (heteroousianism) was rejected
Homoousianism - god the father is of the same substance as Christ, is the most prevalent vision nowadays, which means that christ is purely divine and not human
In Exodus, Moses asked to see God's face, and was not allowed to. God told him he would allow Moses to see his "back" instead. When I was a boy at Yeshiva, the prevailing wisdom was that God showed Moses the back of his neck, and his Tefilin knot. The Tefilin contains passages relating the Shema, and my Rabbis connected it back to how God has a devotion of his own to Israel in his tefilin (which this source also does).
The tefilin is a rite only permitted for men to practice, so I guess that's ones thing for this meme. But the word used for back, אֲחֹרָ֑י, is more accurately translated as "butt." Now why would God need a butt?
This is old Testament by the way. The J source for those who care, who often portrays God as a little earthier than the others.
Imagine going into a cave to see God and it's just him bent over showing hole
These good Mormon boys have wrapped your answer up in a nice little song
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mKB_W4Fv_vY
Does that mean God has a neodick?
Hey christofash men, if everybody is entitled to their own personal and private relationship with god, and you should love god as he loves you, it’s totally legal for your wife to think about god’s massive peener while you’re having sex strictly for the purposes of procreation. Just noodle on that for a bit.
Weren't Asherah and Yahweh a consort pair? Wasn't Baal their son?
This is why it makes more sense to believe in more gods.
More gods == more rational
Fu̇nilı inu̇f, ð Moṙmėnz ƿᵫd hæv ð lıſt tceu̇bėl ƿið ðiſ ƿėn. Ðıṙ vṙjėn v ð greıtṙ ſpıritcuėl wṙld hæz ė hevenlı mėðṙ tu. Ėkoṙdıŋ t Knowing Better, C'z n ſupṙ impoṙtent, b ð Moṙmėnz þıŋk it'ſ nuıſ t no C'z aut ðeıṙ.
::: spoiler spoiler Funnily enough, the Mormons would have the least trouble with this one. Their version of the greater sporitual world has a heavenly mother too. According to Knowing Better, she's not super important, but the Mormons think it's nice to know she's out there. :::
Capitalised pronouns ARE neopronouns. I use them, and I wrote an article on My blog about it: https://medium.com/@viridiangrail/introduction-to-capitalised-pronouns-f5140e722b48