Spyke
Echo Dotreply
feddit.uk

I've been trying to do step one for years. But my bastard relatives refuse to die, and also refuse to be rich. Selfish I call it.

55

And then my siblings also think they're entitled to some of the non-existent inheritance. So many selfish people in my family...

2

Zoos tend to struggle with Step 7 and they have far better conditions than a beat up converted freighter

5

Also step 2. $4MM is not enough to run the kind of vessel needed to go to the poles for the length of time needed.

1

Antarctica is generally colder than the Arctic. They would almost certainly be stuck along the coastlines of Antarctica like the penguins are, since the interior average temperatures rival the coldest ones ever recorded in the Arctic. They should be fine there, but then that means they have a very limited distribution and that penguins and seals consequently are always forced to share an environment with the polar bears. Because they're not used to the polar bears, their populations would likely be destroyed, leaving the polar bears to starve. Unlike in the Arctic, too, they would have nowhere to retreat if their food supply ran out. Outward is hundreds of kilometers of ocean, and inward is hundreds of kilometers of unsurvivable desert.

91
Monumentreply
lemmy.sdf.org

they would have nowhere to retreat if their food supply ran out.

Um. Hello? There are scientists there.


Which means scientific papers, then tourists, then garbage and a symbiotic relationship, then the eventual domestication of polar bears.
Not, you know, the international scientific community treating scientists like cats.

37

"Return Eenie or we feed another physicist to the bears. We know you fuckers took him."

6

Always wondered what it would have been like had we domesticated these things

These limbs were adapted for efficient long-distance pacing, rather than the explosive acceleration and high speed pursuits

Terrifying

3

Etymologists crying and shaking right now at the thought of Antarctica (meaning: without bears) gaining the one animal it's not supposed to have

78

I read that as entomologist for a second and was really confused

Figured it had something to do with fleas

25
lemmy.world

This comment sent me down a rabbit hole. I had no idea the arctic is called that because it was the Greek for 'of the bear' because they used Ursa Major to guide them north. And the the arctic is the most northerly point.

Fucking wild. Mind blown.

13

Wdf how are we just learning this?! Can’t they teach it with the continent names??

4

And it's a hilarious coincidence that it resulted in the southern most point being Antarctica, as it just happens to be the only continent without bears.

1
leminal.space

I'm not saying this will definitely reverse the Earth's polarity and doom all life on earth, but do we really want to take that chance?!

3

Looks at earth

Well, it probably won't get much worse, and if it does it'll at least be interesting to see.

2
lemmy.world

I'd say that if all you want to do is scare the shit out of some scientists in Antarctica you probably only need 1 polar bear

65
shneancyreply
lemmy.world

nah, it'd freeze to death too fast

Antarctica compatible fursuit of a lion

5

Spray-paint a polar bear orange and stick a mane on it. Confusing and scary.

10

Yup, and there's a lot less risk of complete disruption to the normal food chain. One polar bear will eventually die, a dozen will probably take over.

1
lemmy.world

I've recently learned that bears absolutely love cocaine. I'm sure that's relevant here somehow.

37
felbanereply
lemmy.world

I thought they had white coats because they take their methamphetamine production lab very seriously.

6

Pretty sure they are just rolling around in cocaine all day, hence why they are the most feared of the bears. Constantly off their head

4

They're actually clear coats with hollow fur, which means they always have a way to consume said cocaine. They've basically evolved to be addicts.

2
petersrreply
lemmy.world

Does it really need to be a big container ship?

Didn't people transport stuff in smaller boats back in the day?

(You still make a valid point though)

10
sh.itjust.works

Idk, polar bears are really heavy, and it takes a long time to get from one end of the planet to the other, so you want something secure to store the bears in. That means a bigger ship that can handle angry bears hurling themselves at the walls of their cage, because they will wake up during the journey, and they won't be happy.

13

For some reason, just imagining this is fucking hilarious. OOP on a shipping container being mutinied by dozens of feral pissed of polar bears

4

they did specify freight! although getting The Cutty Sark back in working order is probably even more costly.

4
lemmy.world

I think the penguins would learn to just swim away, and the bears would starve since they would need to expend a lot of effort for a small bird versus the calorie-dense seals they're used to.

32
sh.itjust.works

That is a king penguin, not even the tallest subspecies (emperors are taller), but what you're looking at is an optical illusion because the penguin is much closer to the camera than the humans.

21

Polar bears can fish (in this video they're catching char, which is closely related to salmon), they're just not used to it.

If they can eat fish, they can probably figure out penguins as well, which honestly aren't too different from seals (slow on land, fast in the water).

5

They'd need to ambush the flock when they were on land, ensuring they could corner several before the penguins make it to water

1
lemmy.world

So then part of the program needs to be penguin Viagra to keep the numbers up

11
lemy.lol

Listen to this. How about we get a big boat, put the surviving penguins inside and ship them to the Artic!

5

This reminds me of a friend that once proposed that if we really wanted to mess with Europe we could release a few packs of coyotes

20

Yeah, in the water. Giving them another apex predator on land won't make them happy, I'm sure.

6
Honytawkreply
lemmy.zip

Apparently it is 12 creatures, 6 male and 6 female, that is needed for a genetically diverse enough group to repopulate.

2

A couple of birth defects wouldn't matter much if you're walking around a penguin buffet. They'd be fine.

1
sh.itjust.works

I was really hoping OP wanted to drop the polar bears on a tropical island. For science.

14