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View original on lemmy.world

My wife has been binging true crime rule

I was curious how much those blue barrels you see bodies buried in cost

If you’re feeling fancy and hate microplastics you can upgrade to steel barrels for only $50 more!

View original on lemmy.world
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12 replies

lemmy.world

If you're just getting rid of a body you don't need a new one. You don't care about contamination in that case. You can get those barrels used for dirt cheap. If you know where a boat landing is then you may even be able to steal one from underneath a dock for free and without leaving any paper trail.

21
sh.itjust.works

You're going to need a wood chipper to get a body into a closed top barrel

14
Gormadtreply
lemmy.blahaj.zone

That's why you go with one of these bad boys

No wood chipper, no problems

You can fit so many people in one of these bad boys slaps lid

They're also hella easy to seal properly

11

That ice bath tub even has a tap. You can get a nice cup of whatever juices are inside whenever you like!

6

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together... And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig sh*t, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig"

— Brick Top, Snatch 2000

3

who needs a coffin! this and a drum of honey and we can make some mellified man

2

The blue barrel makes me think of slime in Terraria, When you beat King Slime, he drops a conversion machine that converts gel into slime blocks when then can be made into blue furniture, including chests which smack of modern recycling bins, so I use them to partition out common cruft that is picked up from normal travel and fighting.

There are even slime barrels, though those are normally used for brewing.

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