Took me 48 years to figure out how to like myself and not rely on others for validation. You don't need the shield if you don't care what other people think. Easier said than done to get to that point!
Regarding the edited version specifically, if the person isn't willing to try to understand you, they were a shitty friend anyway. Still hurts to have to find that out, of course.
Yep! Don't forget, asking questions for clarity doesn't exist, questions are for attacking! Any questions you ask are because you're trying to subtly harass the person.
Nah, NTs ask each other clarifying questions all the time. You just have to use the right tone and not any of the 100s of wrong tones. No, I can't explain or describe the tone, you just have to know it.
Fuck this happens so often, I ask a question and the person gets all defensive and then I need to explain I literally meant nothing just wanted to know the answer.
Assuming that people ask questions only to attack can lead to a negative bias in conversations. It's essential to recognize that someone seeking clarification may not intend hostility. 😊👍
I think I have a vague idea of what i'm passionate about but finding people that share my ideas is something I'm incredibly bad at.
At work, usually I feel like completely detached/disconnected from all other people. Their interests just don't seem to align with my own.
And honestly. I don't really know how to find other people online either. I never know what to type or what to say, so in the end I just end up silent...
Anybody that's part of a persecuted minority group should not put themselves in more danger by allowing people that don't recognize their right to exist into their social circles.
The original has always been one of my favorite comics and I love the follow-up even more:
I've never seen this but I love it. One day...
Took me 48 years to figure out how to like myself and not rely on others for validation. You don't need the shield if you don't care what other people think. Easier said than done to get to that point!
Regarding the edited version specifically, if the person isn't willing to try to understand you, they were a shitty friend anyway. Still hurts to have to find that out, of course.
Many people get annoyed that I often give vague answers. If I over explain myself, they'll twist my words into a new meaning. I'm confused :D
Yep! Don't forget, asking questions for clarity doesn't exist, questions are for attacking! Any questions you ask are because you're trying to subtly harass the person.
/s
Nah, NTs ask each other clarifying questions all the time. You just have to use the right tone and not any of the 100s of wrong tones. No, I can't explain or describe the tone, you just have to know it.
I feel very silly for not realizing it could be my tone-deafedness making it hard to ask questions.
I only have the one tone and it's apparently the wrong one....
Fuck this happens so often, I ask a question and the person gets all defensive and then I need to explain I literally meant nothing just wanted to know the answer.
Ooo, I'm not so sure about that. It's kind of a negative expectation that could guide the direction of your conversations without you realizing it.
What do you mean negative expectation?
Assuming that people ask questions only to attack can lead to a negative bias in conversations. It's essential to recognize that someone seeking clarification may not intend hostility. 😊👍
I'm sorry I should put an /s at the end of that comment... That was meant to be sarcasm (hence the exclamations).
Haha of course. I'm surprised autism threads aren't full of more people misunderstanding stuff.
This happens to me all the time. Which is why I don't care about conversations much anymore.
Ouch.
Yeah, I'm getting older now and still feel I never really had a genuine connection with somebody else. How to work on this?
I think I have a vague idea of what i'm passionate about but finding people that share my ideas is something I'm incredibly bad at. At work, usually I feel like completely detached/disconnected from all other people. Their interests just don't seem to align with my own. And honestly. I don't really know how to find other people online either. I never know what to type or what to say, so in the end I just end up silent...
It still happens with wife of 37 years.
You're going to couples therapy right? I can say that my wife is one of 3 that take the time to understand, and we're only 10 years in.
Edit: this was clarified, I'm sorry she deal with this too 💕
I think they meant their wife has issues keeping friends
Thank you for clarifying!
Relatable
I am terrified of being biased so much that I come off as biased in the other direction
This is my strongest mood
Real friends don't make friendships based on this or that opinion.... that's an internet thing.
I actively avoid being friends with people that hold abhorrent opinions, like anything to do with overt racism, transphobia, etc.
Most people's opinions tend to not be this extreme, however.
Anybody that's part of a persecuted minority group should not put themselves in more danger by allowing people that don't recognize their right to exist into their social circles.
I think you're right. But it can be worth it to try to change a mind.
You don't have shared interests with your friends? I existed before Internet was a thing and I can confidently say it's not.
Maybe the true Scotsmen were the friends we made along the way?