Binary trans woman? Binary feels like the closest fit, but at the same time, so much of gender is a construct, and I think I would probably have a different relationship with my gender identity if I was 20 years younger than I am, and grew up with more nuanced representation of gender.
I tend to just lurk because this isn't a space for me, but it's a good way to keep connected to the community outside of my local area, and stay aware of ongoing social changes and such.
It's okay and normal to not be 100% sure and to even change your mind entirely later. The important thing is you feel you have the agency to be whatever version of yourself feels right in the moment 💕
I, myself am perfectly okay with who I am and my evolving identity (all of us are just Pokémon after all).
There's this anxiety that stems from never being entirely sure how your environment is going to react that is causing this to be a more personal journey for me. Somehow it feels like having a greater degree of certainty is going to make actually being who I am to the rest of the world a lot easier. Confidence is key I guess.
Having had some bad experiences being open about my feelings definitely doesn't help either. So until the need to do otherwise arises, I'll probably just be honest with myself and not entirely with my surroundings.
In the meantime I'm having lots of fun stealthily experimenting with everything not tied to the stereotypical masculine identity. And I'll continue doing so until I feel the need to make those elements part of my public identity.
That makes sense! I definitely share in your experience of anxiety that comes out of wanting to be open and expressive but also protect yourself. I'm navigating something similar and, well, I don't have a good answer right now about what to do.
Generally, for people I know, I've found that I'm a very good judge of whether or not they will accept/embrace/vibe with my gender expression or be off-put by it and I know that influences the degree to which I mask (which I'm unhappy with, but working on). For people I don't know—generally they don't care as they have their own problems to work through, but I live in a socially liberal city so there's that 😅
Oh yeah thankfully I live in a very safe and tolerant country, so no worries there. Though you have conservative nutjobs everywhere.
The anxiety probably stems more from the thought of being perceived as unpredictable than from the way people might view the identity itself. Which is probably why it feels like I should have it figured out.
Then there's also the part where the sooner you have it figured out, the longer you get to live as your true self... maybe? How does one definitively crack an egg?
Haha, not sure if it's possible to definitively anything that can't be measured empirically. Glad you're in a safe place ☺️
Yeah, I don't have the best answers. What do you feel like your living as your true self is missing? Do you feel yourself making progress to that vision? What's missing?
Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm missing anything I can't have by doing things differently. Guess it's mostly just a Schrödinger's gender identity situation. I might be happier after socially transitioning. I might be happier after medically transitioning. The only way to know for sure is to experience, and taking the plunge on any of this is scary for multiple reasons.
I'm willing to bet I'm not the only one in this "quantum trans superposition state", so I guess I'll just hang around here and read about some of your experiences.
I know for sure that I don't fit the template for someone born male, and I have known to varying degrees since I was eight years old. I have thought about transitioning before and the idea of it feels more comfortable to me than it probably does for most cis people. It's just that I'm being careful with decisions that might leave lasting effects (both socially and mentally) until I'm more sure they will make my life better.
Appreciate you taking the time to pick my brain about this stuff!
Way to relatable. Was thinking I'd like to build up some more savings, so I don't have to worry as much about finances. But thinking maybe I should just try.
There's always going low dose and ramping it up when you leave. Low dose is more gradual and less people will notice as quickly, and you may get some of the mental health benefits from it.
I'd like to but it would very much impact my job and, depending on the next president, put a big ass target on my back (health insurance through gov employment).
It's fine tbh, not like male puberty hasn't already had its way with me. Costs me little to nothing to wait, and this job is being great for experience building. Already made it this far 😜 Plus I'm ALMOST at the 3 year mark, which I'm told can make getting hired for gov jobs easier in the future.
Edit: in the mean time I can lose weight and get a bit more fit, develop good exercise habits, eat healthier, etc.
In case anyone cares, I don't care about my own gender identity. I identify as a cis woman because it's easy for me and I don't experience any disphoria or offense no matter how people gender me. Here to support trans and nonbinary people.
Nonbinary transfemme—using precise terminology for something I consider quite vague. I have a hard time calling myself a woman, but that's essentially where I'm headed. Maybe demigirl.
There are more trans women than men in the general populace, but that doesn't explain why the imbalance is so large on here. If you controlled for total population it would still be an imbalance.
People who use Lemmy in general tend to be more tech savvy than the average person, and there's that whole stereotype about transfemme programmers.
Alternatively, maybe transfemmes are more isolated, unaccepted, and have less support networks which leads them to seek places like this out more?
I'm just making guesses here. I have no idea why that is or if any of it's true.
Genderflux demigirl: I fluctuate between agender and girl. I never want to be called a man or its adjacent terms ever again, but I also don't want to be beholden by the confines of "woman." "Girl" is nice, though. I like being girly.
In other words, varying degrees of girl, but never man. To anyone to whom it may be too complicated, non-binary.
I'm just a standard issue guy; always have been. Was raised conservative and flipped to progressive as an adult.
I'm here out of benevolent curiosity. I want to know how to interact with trans folks respectfully. I believe that learning about their thoughts and experiences will foster a perspective that makes it easier to understand how to do that.
I generally go with trans woman/girl (I refuse to acknowledge that I'm getting older), but mostly because I feel like that broad classification covers a fair amount of what other people would classify as demigirl or transfemme enby. Admittedly I also take the view that gender can be described as a zone of 3-d grid, with axes "femme", "masc" and "other" (although what "other" really is depends on the individual in question), and my own goes 80-90 femme, ~10 masc, 20-30 other (each out of 100)
Now, it almost never feels fluid. I spend weeks at a time thinking "Yeah, I feel I'm mostly a man, breaking out of norms just makes me feel free, and I wanna be strong like all those enbies I admire". And then one month later I see myself equally genuinely thinking "I'm a trans fem~ish, and I wish I could be pretty like all those women I admire."
And it's like I don't emotionally "remember" the other state. Each state is my entire reality while in it.
But consciously, I remember having been through this, not just now with gender, but some years ago with sexuality as well.
So yeah. It's a little bit of everything, all of the time.
Female or possibly demi-girl. The distinction doesn't make any practical difference to me, so I usually just go by female. I'm trans if that makes a difference in your graph.
I'm a cis man. I only watch this community because I feel for y'all and understand the discrimination you're going through.
I'm autistic and severely ADHD. It's hard to live when everyone hates you for just being you. So while I'm not an egg or anything I take comfort in being around others who know how it feels to be rejected and fought against.
I'm generally okay with and at ease with my birth gender, though I would definitely say that my inner self isn't inherently gendered and more picked up the qualities of my birth gender along the way but isn't inextricably linked to it.
I tend to think of it like how light when absorbed and reemitted takes on the frequency of the thing which absorbed it, but that coloring of the light isn't really describing the original nature or quality of the light so much as the journey it took and what was picked up along the way.
So cis gendered but not particularly committed to my gender one way or another. Would rank a host of other qualities above my gender in how important it is to my identity.
I guess I'm a trans tomboy? I'm new to all this so I don't have the lingo down yet. I have two ex-wives and I think I want an ex-husband too. But it'll have to wait. I recently realized I need someone who sees me as a woman and that's likely not happening anytime soon. Right now it feels like I want to wait until after bottom surgery. It'll be a long wait, but I've decided not to let old hang ups and preconceived notions dictate my life any longer so it might change if I meet the right person. I'm not sweating it, though.
If you had asked me a year ago what my gender identity was, my answer would have been rather different than if you asked me now. I tend to be skeptical that I have the appropriate epistemic vantage point to have a certain answer to such a question. I'm not even sure there is such a thing as a persistent, innate, or essential gender identity.
Philosophical problems aside, assuming this is a census or something, I would be considered a trans woman.
I reach for agender/neutrois. I interpret it under the non-binary umbrella and use that too. Though I also still consider myself 'transfem', or at least 'transfem-ish'.
Woman probably. IDK I'm kinda just vibing it out from my brain.
Also this guy
I am also that guy 👀
Cis man.
Most of my friends are queer, so I'm usually the outlier on that regard.
Also I wandered in here from browsing "all" so I'm arguably not in the community at all.
welcome to the party we hope you enjoy your stay :D
Right now it's something like this:
ehem
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
That fits snugly into the "???" Category
Binary trans woman? Binary feels like the closest fit, but at the same time, so much of gender is a construct, and I think I would probably have a different relationship with my gender identity if I was 20 years younger than I am, and grew up with more nuanced representation of gender.
Trans man
Cis hetero.
I tend to just lurk because this isn't a space for me, but it's a good way to keep connected to the community outside of my local area, and stay aware of ongoing social changes and such.
This is also me.
Definitely still figuring that out. All I know for sure is that there is some degree of fem in it.
Even though it makes no sense at all, it does feel like the clock is ticking sometimes. That I need to hurry up and figure it out.
It's okay and normal to not be 100% sure and to even change your mind entirely later. The important thing is you feel you have the agency to be whatever version of yourself feels right in the moment 💕
Thanks for your kind words!
I, myself am perfectly okay with who I am and my evolving identity (all of us are just Pokémon after all).
There's this anxiety that stems from never being entirely sure how your environment is going to react that is causing this to be a more personal journey for me. Somehow it feels like having a greater degree of certainty is going to make actually being who I am to the rest of the world a lot easier. Confidence is key I guess.
Having had some bad experiences being open about my feelings definitely doesn't help either. So until the need to do otherwise arises, I'll probably just be honest with myself and not entirely with my surroundings.
In the meantime I'm having lots of fun stealthily experimenting with everything not tied to the stereotypical masculine identity. And I'll continue doing so until I feel the need to make those elements part of my public identity.
That makes sense! I definitely share in your experience of anxiety that comes out of wanting to be open and expressive but also protect yourself. I'm navigating something similar and, well, I don't have a good answer right now about what to do.
Generally, for people I know, I've found that I'm a very good judge of whether or not they will accept/embrace/vibe with my gender expression or be off-put by it and I know that influences the degree to which I mask (which I'm unhappy with, but working on). For people I don't know—generally they don't care as they have their own problems to work through, but I live in a socially liberal city so there's that 😅
Oh yeah thankfully I live in a very safe and tolerant country, so no worries there. Though you have conservative nutjobs everywhere.
The anxiety probably stems more from the thought of being perceived as unpredictable than from the way people might view the identity itself. Which is probably why it feels like I should have it figured out.
Then there's also the part where the sooner you have it figured out, the longer you get to live as your true self... maybe? How does one definitively crack an egg?
Haha, not sure if it's possible to definitively anything that can't be measured empirically. Glad you're in a safe place ☺️
Yeah, I don't have the best answers. What do you feel like your living as your true self is missing? Do you feel yourself making progress to that vision? What's missing?
Pesky lemmings being persistent! :3
Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm missing anything I can't have by doing things differently. Guess it's mostly just a Schrödinger's gender identity situation. I might be happier after socially transitioning. I might be happier after medically transitioning. The only way to know for sure is to experience, and taking the plunge on any of this is scary for multiple reasons.
I'm willing to bet I'm not the only one in this "quantum trans superposition state", so I guess I'll just hang around here and read about some of your experiences.
I know for sure that I don't fit the template for someone born male, and I have known to varying degrees since I was eight years old. I have thought about transitioning before and the idea of it feels more comfortable to me than it probably does for most cis people. It's just that I'm being careful with decisions that might leave lasting effects (both socially and mentally) until I'm more sure they will make my life better.
Appreciate you taking the time to pick my brain about this stuff!
dialup noises
Trans femme, leaning towards enby?
I want to see how I feel on HRT but it feels so far away... very much want to move away from my current state before starting to "really" transition.
Way to relatable. Was thinking I'd like to build up some more savings, so I don't have to worry as much about finances. But thinking maybe I should just try.
There's always going low dose and ramping it up when you leave. Low dose is more gradual and less people will notice as quickly, and you may get some of the mental health benefits from it.
I'd like to but it would very much impact my job and, depending on the next president, put a big ass target on my back (health insurance through gov employment).
DIY maybe? Sounds hard, sorry you're in that situation
It's fine tbh, not like male puberty hasn't already had its way with me. Costs me little to nothing to wait, and this job is being great for experience building. Already made it this far 😜 Plus I'm ALMOST at the 3 year mark, which I'm told can make getting hired for gov jobs easier in the future.
Edit: in the mean time I can lose weight and get a bit more fit, develop good exercise habits, eat healthier, etc.
Idk
I'll put you under "???"
Genderfluid trans enby, i like he/she/they/any.
My body is base model femme but my brain is rather teenage boy.
Toph from Avatar seems to share my gender, lol
cis man
Trans femme / A-gender gurl here to assist your data!
Welcome! Ultimately transphobia is a cis problem, so it really helps when cis folks educate themselves and advocate to create change. Thank you!
EDIT: any cis ally looking to learn more, I found the Gender Dysphoria Bible a helpful resource.
Binary trans woman, here 🫡🏳️⚧️
Cis woman representing.
In case anyone cares, I don't care about my own gender identity. I identify as a cis woman because it's easy for me and I don't experience any disphoria or offense no matter how people gender me. Here to support trans and nonbinary people.
I'm in this comment! I'm also a cis lady who doesn't have any gender dysphagia. Also here to support all my LGBTQ+ humans!
So I guess we're twinning now! <3
female womanly woman womyn so binary im beeping and booping
Trans or cis
trans 🤔
Nonbinary trans femme
Male since birth. (Is that what Cis means?)
But strongly of the opinion that whatever it is should only matter to me and whoever vitally needs to know it for providing effective health care.
Anything else should be "fill in the blanks with whatever you like and not make it a big deal."
Yes, that's what cis means. You're okay being the gender usually associated with your sex.
Nonbinary transfemme—using precise terminology for something I consider quite vague. I have a hard time calling myself a woman, but that's essentially where I'm headed. Maybe demigirl.
Trans man or trans masc.
Finally bro I thought I was the only one lmao
There's quite an imbalance! I wonder why that is
There are more trans women than men in the general populace, but that doesn't explain why the imbalance is so large on here. If you controlled for total population it would still be an imbalance.
People who use Lemmy in general tend to be more tech savvy than the average person, and there's that whole stereotype about transfemme programmers.
Alternatively, maybe transfemmes are more isolated, unaccepted, and have less support networks which leads them to seek places like this out more?
I'm just making guesses here. I have no idea why that is or if any of it's true.
Cis man
Cis man. Just stating that makes me feel boring
Cis male, casual lurker
Trans girl/woman 🏳️⚧️
Trans woman 🏳️⚧️
transandrogynous genderqueerdo
Trans girl checking in! 🏳️⚧️ 😇
Maybe trans woman? I just learned of the term demigirl from these comments and that seems to fit a little better. Some flavor of girl/femme 😘
Trans girl
transfem girlypop cute pink yes please
binary trans woman reporting for duty :3
Genderflux demigirl: I fluctuate between agender and girl. I never want to be called a man or its adjacent terms ever again, but I also don't want to be beholden by the confines of "woman." "Girl" is nice, though. I like being girly.
In other words, varying degrees of girl, but never man. To anyone to whom it may be too complicated, non-binary.
She/they trans fem trans girl/woman
I'm a trans woman.
Started as non-binary / bigender trans-fem, but now just Demigirl / trans-fem.
Didn't know there was gonna be a chart :o Kinda wanna buff up that enby slice but the transfem green is pretty close to my colour soooo...
Femby? 😅
I'm gonna make another one don't worry
Good that c/trans has an official chart crab :D
Probably late but freshly cracked trans girl here!
Welcome! 🥳️🏳️⚧️️ 💖️❤️💖️❤️💖️
Idgaf - i don't give a fuck, I'm me
I'm just a standard issue guy; always have been. Was raised conservative and flipped to progressive as an adult.
I'm here out of benevolent curiosity. I want to know how to interact with trans folks respectfully. I believe that learning about their thoughts and experiences will foster a perspective that makes it easier to understand how to do that.
feel free to DM me any burning questions you have, btw - I'm happy to walk through anything!
trans girl, the trans part is important to me :3
and I also like being a bunnydemon! :D
Nonbinary (AMAB)
At the moment I consider myself a trans girl but it may turn out that I'm some kind of demigirl as I explore my gender identity more.
What is a demigirl please ?
https://gender.fandom.com/wiki/Demigirl
Thanks!
Yes
Trans girl 🥰️🏳️⚧️️💖️
Male, I'm just here to observe
I assume you mean cis man?
Yes
I generally go with trans woman/girl (I refuse to acknowledge that I'm getting older), but mostly because I feel like that broad classification covers a fair amount of what other people would classify as demigirl or transfemme enby. Admittedly I also take the view that gender can be described as a zone of 3-d grid, with axes "femme", "masc" and "other" (although what "other" really is depends on the individual in question), and my own goes 80-90 femme, ~10 masc, 20-30 other (each out of 100)
Trans masc, not sure where on the spectrum of binary/non-binary
It's enby, and definitely not solid.
Now, it almost never feels fluid. I spend weeks at a time thinking "Yeah, I feel I'm mostly a man, breaking out of norms just makes me feel free, and I wanna be strong like all those enbies I admire". And then one month later I see myself equally genuinely thinking "I'm a trans fem~ish, and I wish I could be pretty like all those women I admire."
And it's like I don't emotionally "remember" the other state. Each state is my entire reality while in it.
But consciously, I remember having been through this, not just now with gender, but some years ago with sexuality as well.
So yeah. It's a little bit of everything, all of the time.
Why not, special occasion why not bring out the micro label? Trans non-binary Genderfaun ( fluid between agender and masc but never femme).
Transfem demigirl femboy (technically magigirl, but more people know the term demigirl so I just use that)
Agender trans-neutral
Female or possibly demi-girl. The distinction doesn't make any practical difference to me, so I usually just go by female. I'm trans if that makes a difference in your graph.
I'm a cis man. I only watch this community because I feel for y'all and understand the discrimination you're going through.
I'm autistic and severely ADHD. It's hard to live when everyone hates you for just being you. So while I'm not an egg or anything I take comfort in being around others who know how it feels to be rejected and fought against.
Transfem - Non Binary
I'm a trans woman; I don't tend to comment much, but I am here :)
Agender transfem, I think mostly fits me, but I'm still coming to terms with the transfem part (especially since I live in the UK 😅)
Transfem fairly binary
Nebulous
I am a trans woman that is just trying to "blend in" if you know what I mean.
But if it comes up in conversation and i'm comfortable enough I may or may not reveal the fact that I'm trans.
Non-binary, i can't be arsed to try to find a more specific label.
I'm generally okay with and at ease with my birth gender, though I would definitely say that my inner self isn't inherently gendered and more picked up the qualities of my birth gender along the way but isn't inextricably linked to it.
I tend to think of it like how light when absorbed and reemitted takes on the frequency of the thing which absorbed it, but that coloring of the light isn't really describing the original nature or quality of the light so much as the journey it took and what was picked up along the way.
So cis gendered but not particularly committed to my gender one way or another. Would rank a host of other qualities above my gender in how important it is to my identity.
Sometimes I feel like I know... then I realize I'm not completely sure. 🤷 Somewhere between she and they, I think.
I kinda wish I knew and I kinda don't. It seems like it changes every couple days or weeks.
I guess I'm a trans tomboy? I'm new to all this so I don't have the lingo down yet. I have two ex-wives and I think I want an ex-husband too. But it'll have to wait. I recently realized I need someone who sees me as a woman and that's likely not happening anytime soon. Right now it feels like I want to wait until after bottom surgery. It'll be a long wait, but I've decided not to let old hang ups and preconceived notions dictate my life any longer so it might change if I meet the right person. I'm not sweating it, though.
How do I know?
If you had asked me a year ago what my gender identity was, my answer would have been rather different than if you asked me now. I tend to be skeptical that I have the appropriate epistemic vantage point to have a certain answer to such a question. I'm not even sure there is such a thing as a persistent, innate, or essential gender identity.
Philosophical problems aside, assuming this is a census or something, I would be considered a trans woman.
I reach for agender/neutrois. I interpret it under the non-binary umbrella and use that too. Though I also still consider myself 'transfem', or at least 'transfem-ish'.
She/her trans woman 😀