Spyke
sopuli.xyz

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW

99
TxzKreply
lemmy.zip

Stop dropping your phone on the fucking train

Every morning I clock into work, and 12 hours later I clock out covered in jizz because someone dropped their phone while looking at porn and turned the whole trip into a goddamn gangbang. I can’t take it anymore. I’m literally knee deep in spunk by the end of the day, because all you motherfuckers are apparently lubing up your hands and can’t get a grip. We’ve all had to start wearing blindfolds when we exit the front so we don’t accidentally get a peak and start furiously cranking our cocks to “thugposts” or “femboys” or whatever the newest horny fad is. For the love of god, stop dropping your phone on the fucking train.

50
FaceDeerreply
fedia.io

Sounds like we need to get the SCP Foundation involved. I'm getting some serious Turn Down for What vibes from this.

16

The female may begin feeding by biting off the male's head (as they do with regular prey), and if mating has begun, the male's movements may become even more vigorous in its delivery of sperm.

Bruh

6
lemm.ee

Wikipedia:
To mate
following courtship,
the male usually leaps onto the female's back,
clasping her thorax and wing bases
with his forelegs.
He then arches his abdomen
to deposit and store sperm
in a special chamber near the tip of the female's abdomen.
The female lays between 10 and 400 eggs,
depending on the species. Eggs are typically deposited in a froth mass-produced by glands
in the abdomen.
This froth hardens,
creating a protective capsule,
which together with the egg mass
is called an ootheca.

10

I just liked the wikipedia entry and thought it had a touch more poetry and... enthusiasm let us say than I was expecting. And no, poemforyoursprog would have made it all rhyme.

1

well, now I know this exists.

thanks, I guess

edit: apparently this guy is responsible for R.E.M.

4
stelelorreply
lemmy.ca

Look up "thigh gap". Not saying I agree with it, just that it's a thing.

7
mander.xyz

Probably for the best, you can tell these types are man eaters with one look.

8

You reached the end