The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other contender. Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k", Which should klear up some konfusion and allow one key less on keyboards.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f", making words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" is disgrasful.
By the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and everivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI KOM TRU!
In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of the “k”, Which should klear up some konfusion and allow one key less on keyboards.
I have bad dyslexia but I think I'd be able to figure it out based on context. Balcony sandwiches would be too big and dry, and I wouldn't want to step out on anyone's baloney.
On the same note, we should either change the spelling to "rondevoo", or pronounce rendezvous as "ren-dez-vouse", this having words pronounced entirely different from the spelling just adds confusion
The word coming french has to do with it in this case. But to be fair, the french changed the spelling of "beefsteak" to "bifteck" to match the spelling with the pronunciation, so feel free to write "rondevoo", I guess.
i imagined they'd spell it more like Käks. then i could have my Käsekäkse in peace. but to be fair i don't think i actually have seen any words spelled with -äks
There's no way around that unless we start spelling things a lot more differently around the English-speaking world. We have enough trouble with the relatively minor spelling differences between UK and US English as it is, increasing that confusion is far worse than having spelling decoupled from pronunciation.
My wife caught my googling "why do we say baloney in stead of bologna", took a photo of it, and roasted me on Instagram. And I still don't know why.
Sounds like she's a big meanie
Lol imagine being in a relationship like this .
My wife is my teammate and would never roast me on public permanent social media, and I wouldn't do that to her.
Depending on how I'd take the humour I think this is fine. If my partner did this to me, it would just make it funnier to me.
Definitely don't actually bully or intentionally upset your partner of course, but depending on the banter dynamics, it could be ok.
Maybe those two think it's funny
That doesn't seem healthy to me.
Anybody post the answer below it?
Are the straights okay
Because she's insecure
Because then I can't purposely mispronounce it as "boo-log-nuh."
For old times' sake.
The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other contender. Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k", Which should klear up some konfusion and allow one key less on keyboards.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f", making words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" is disgrasful.
By the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and everivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI KOM TRU!
Is this a copy pasta lol
Yeah this one's an ancient one. I think this might actually even predate Reddit
Yes, I remember this one from usenet back in the 90s. Although the intro may have changed to blame it on the EU.
Sounds good to me!
Objection! If you replase ze soft C with S, Koncentration kamps bekome Konsent-ration kamps! Zis is unasseptable!
unakseptable*
its literally impossible to change words. just never happens, were screwed. literally.
You dropped this '
i didnt; they never came in the box
Sor we all saw it fall out of your pocket. Are you claiming you didn't bring that from home?
...maybe it's just dandruff? I dunno, but maybe they're OK...
If enough people do the dictionaries will eventually change it.
That's unpossible!
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/baloney
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/baloney
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/baloney
It's already happening!
I have others I would like to change, like potatoes. Where does the e come from, how about potatos?
And handful, it should be a simple compound word, where does the other l go?
I'd pronounce that potatoss
Just send the Punisher to the publishers, a much faster solution.
I'm sure the good people of Bologna would be glad to not be associated with your baloney.
Plot twist: he's talking about the city in Italy.
"Queue"
Just use Cue, Que or simply "Q"
...Or
QUwUe
QUwUeue
"QUwUe what's this?"
"It's the line for the hotdog stand."
Well "que" is a very common Spanish word but that would probably be ok. "Cue" is already an English word with at least 2 meanings.
I'll keep spelling it baloney, fite me
Are you sure you've thot about this?
I'm sure I did, it says right so in the Prostitution of the United States.
Because then it would be too close to "balcony" and it would confuse people
I have bad dyslexia but I think I'd be able to figure it out based on context. Balcony sandwiches would be too big and dry, and I wouldn't want to step out on anyone's baloney.
Balogney
On the same note, we should either change the spelling to "rondevoo", or pronounce rendezvous as "ren-dez-vouse", this having words pronounced entirely different from the spelling just adds confusion
The word coming french has to do with it in this case. But to be fair, the french changed the spelling of "beefsteak" to "bifteck" to match the spelling with the pronunciation, so feel free to write "rondevoo", I guess.
German word for cookie/biscuit is "Keks" which is adopted from "cakes"
i imagined they'd spell it more like Käks. then i could have my Käsekäkse in peace. but to be fair i don't think i actually have seen any words spelled with -äks
yoo aar ryt
U mispeld “arrr”.
Also business to bizness and busy to bizy, unless we are talking about how bus-like something is
There's no way around that unless we start spelling things a lot more differently around the English-speaking world. We have enough trouble with the relatively minor spelling differences between UK and US English as it is, increasing that confusion is far worse than having spelling decoupled from pronunciation.