A heavily armed man killed himself rather than carry out an apparent plan to shoot up a mountaintop amusement park in Colorado, his body discovered in a bathroom next to words scrawled on the wall, "I am not a killer,"
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/oct/30/colorado-amusement-park-armed-man-deadOpen link
Respect. A lot of people don't seem to grasp how terrifying having a mental condition like schizophrenia is. For all we know, he probably heard a voice in his head telling him to do the unthinkable.
He probably wanted to go out while still in control.