Taylor Swiftboating.

Never once touched his per diem.

Is your laptop, by any chance, an HP? I had the same issue with wifi and finally, after about a year of frustration, found the solution HERE. To save a click, here's the part that worked for me, with the disclaimer that I don't honestly know how this works, but by the time I found it I was frustrated enough to run random code from the internet with sudo privileges on my main machine:

First, create the file

/etc/systemd/system/hp-keycodes.service

and type/copy-paste the following into it:

[Unit]
Description=HP setkeycodes fix

[Service]
Type=oneshot
Restart=no
RemainAfterExit=no
ExecStart=/usr/bin/setkeycodes e057 240 e058 240

[Install]
WantedBy=rescue.target
WantedBy=multi-user.target
WantedBy=graphical.target

Then, run the following commands:

sudo systemctl daemon-reload
sudo systemctl enable --now hp-keycodes.service

That fixed it for me, hopefully it helps you (or someone else) as well!