Damn this sucks, I'm so sorry. Abuse like this really messes one up.

I personally think kink should never be used in a way where it negatively affects somebody's career or relationships. That's something that need agreement on. Is there any way to reconcile with you family (if you even want that)? A career can always be build back up but personal connections are a bit harder.

For me personally (I know it's not quite the same dynamic) all my D/S or Owner/Pet relationships have been build on top of very strong relationships in the first place. Those are people that I am sure I can trust with my body and life. I know for sure that if they hurt me, it's because they love me. Build you safety and trust with somebody first before you enter a relationship where this trust is so important.

For me also, someone once outright rejected my proposal of a freeuse relationship, because they didn't think they would be able to take full responsibility for me like that. This was a huge sign of respect and showed me that this person has my safety higher than their enjoyment, which is a trait you need for these extreme types of relationships.

I hope you're doing well and will get back out there with time, just always keep your safety in mind first

I never really felt like touching others, I'd rather be touched myself.

I have this one compulsive behavior where I feel strongly urged to kiss a person whenever our faces are close. Very awkward feeling to have to suppress when somebody is looking over my shoulder at work. This also doesn't discriminate people I dislike or am not into, which makes it more annoying

Because I still have that disorder and suffer from it? Idk what to tell you, many people have disorders they will never get diagnosed or know about. I at least know what is going on with me and can start on getting it diagnosed and form my life to better fit my needs. If I didn't realize I have this, how do you think one would ever go about getting a diagnosis? How would I ever even start on getting therapy if I didn't even know what's wrong with me? Do you think you just get therapy randomly? I know so many people that had to fight for a diagnosis of something, as the medical system would rather not give them anything. Idk how you think one can get a diagnosis in today's world at all if one isn't diagnosed as a child (which is obviously out of the question for this)

Probably going commando an entire day while wearing a short skirt and masturbating at work. Otherwise freezing cum for an entire month and doing anything from swallow, creampies to facials with it on one evening

Damn, I'm sorry for getting denied a diagnosis, that sucks :/

How has this affected your life, work, relationships and friendships?

Life is good, despite everything. Work is surprisingly unaffected (more detail later). I'm exclusively in open/poly relationships now, as anything else would make me feel hugely unsatisfied. I'm so fucking lucky that the first girlfriend of my now polycule was poly (never thought about it before), because so much good came from it, I'll never look back to my mono life. Friendships are good, although weird. I recently noticed that I don't have a single friend whom I didn't have sex with. Either because I took the chance of sex with them all or because I lost interest in the friendships without. It's not that I have regular sex with them, it's more that I don't feel that close to them if we never had sex.

Which compulsive behaviors do you experience?

Don't know if all of them are specifically compulsive, but: Cannot say no to sex, want more sex after sex unless I'm so exhausted that I cannot move, intense need to kiss somebody if they have their head very close to mine (super awkward at work, when people are looking over my shoulder to help me with stuff or look over my work. I had situations where I had to pinch myself so hard you could see the mark for weeks as to not actually kiss some random coworker), same thing again but with crotches (luckily that's rarer) and a few more that I'm not remembering right now

Any hobbies that haven't been absorbed by more sexy time?

Damn, what a callout 😅 I just realized that I haven't played any roleplaying/pen&paper games in a while, so that's also dead now. Stopped playing any video games 2 year ago. Didn't do any of my creative hobbies in over 5. Nowadays when I'm alone and have some time on my hands I usually only watch YouTube and stuff like that, which I feel awful about because it feels like I'm wasting my time when I could be creating something. Sad to realize that I don't really do any hobbies anymore

What is your job and how do you get through the day?

IT job, very chill. I get by quite good, although I'm often distracted. Coding is quite nice, because it distracts me from everything else. I used to do it as a hobby, but stopped when I started it as work. I'm actually surprised (and quite happy) that the one compulsive behavior from before never happened, it would probably ruin it all.

How often do you have sex? How often do you masturbate?

Sex around twice a week, although 5 times would be my preferred amount. One circle of people I had regular sex with kinda imploded on me (nothing actually happened, I just don't really see them anymore for different, non-dramatic reasons) and now I'm currently struggling on getting my sex frequency back up. Masturbation I also do twice a week, but more because I should to prevent penile athropy as a trans women, not because I enjoy it. Masturbation has been boring for while now and I wouldn't be doing it at all if had more sex again. Due to my testosterone blockers (basically the strongest anti-aphrodisiac one could take) I should loose my sex drive completely, but it's more like it was separated into physical and mental horny-ness. I feel zero need to masturbate, but my mental need for sex is stronger than ever. I only once went over a month without sex or masturbation and I got continuingly more horny until I was actually drunk from it. I was so out of it that friends were worried and approached me about it because they thought I was abusing drugs (I never do, just was that horny)

What's the craziest place you had sex at?

Probably my dad's living room while he was asleep. Or my girlfriends room while multiple people were in the room doing other stuff. While I would definitely be up for doing something in public, I'd never go through with it as the legal consequences here are too high.

What's the biggest trouble you have gotten in because of hypersexuality?

Don't want to get into details because of trauma, but there is this one thing that I cannot talk to anyone about and will probably take to my grave if nothing extraordinary happens, as otherwise it will nuke an entire friend group and ruin the lives of multiple people that mean a lot to me.

Do you enjoy sex still or does it more feel like satisfying a basic need? Or both?

Depends on the sex. Quick sex or masturbation in general does nothing for me in terms of reducing my needs. I love having very intense, long and exhausting sex. Sometimes with multiple people. It's perfect when I can barely move afterwards

I wouldn't want to do it 24/7, I need to have a life also and need to find a stable middle ground for it. 5 times a week would probably be perfect, everyday seems like it would stop me from getting things done (note: having sex one time is at least 2 hours long for me, quickies do nothing to help my needs)

I find a lot of people have very certain things they like to do during sex, while my needs are a lot more differentiated. I think at least 3 different people per week would probably be good. Doesn't need to be the same 3 every week

That could just be a very high sex drive. Hypersexuality specifically is a compulsive disorder in which you often feel forced to do things with people. ADHD definitely has an impact on all this, I think.

To be quite honest, I had weeks in which I clocked 40+ hours of masturbation, that was just the norm for me (basically a full time job LOL)

I don't think a diagnosis will give me access to any tools to handle this. Like what, I would tell my workplace "Sorry, I'm always horny. Please accommodate my needs." XD. I would mainly want it to understand myself better.

Well, I'm a trans woman. Most people I date are trans woman. If you take testosterone blockers as part of a hormone feminization therapy you are going to inevitably loose some penile functionality. So penetrative sex is not very usual for me. But I prefer doing BDSM activities way more anyways. Due to that sex doesn't really end with somebody cumming, but whenever everybody is too exhausted to continue instead.

Overall I would consider that comparatively unusual, especially the kind of kinks that make up most of it

Depends on what you mean

Having hypersexuality itself? It's just the norm for me, very neutral feeling about that.

If you mean having sex, then yeah, definitely. I still very much enjoy that

Thank you so much for your hard work ❤️

Honestly, there isn't one. Especially as a man. We have this concept of "chasers", basically creeps that fetishize and mistreat trans women, and every way to ask this makes you look like one. You could maybe put this into your dating profile or be very upfront about it, but that also will reduce your chances of success

I feel you're just arguing over semantics. I was clear that I am undiagnosed from the start. What "harmful self treatment" could I possibly do? Have sex? Oh no! If it gives me a solid framework to interpret my own needs and helps life my day-to-day life, I don't see the issue. I'm also not "acting as an authority", you're just pulling things from thin air to try and argue why this is supposedly bad

That does not mean it is right, or safe, to take matters into your own hands and act like you are capable of doing things people with decades of experience cannot do.

I'm also self diagnosed with ADHD, because medical professionals literally refuse to even see adults for that. I have self medicated for it before, which saved my life. I wouldn't be able to fucking talk to you if I hadn't. What a fucking stupid opinion.

And you know how I knew I was right about that? Because taking ADHD meds when you don't have ADHD gives you an experience like ADHD for the duration. If you do have ADHD, it feels like your at peace for the first time on your life. Like all your life was constant TV static and it's finally calm. So I have actual proof of it without a diagnosis. Which again, saved me from suicide.

Again: MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS REFUSE TO EVEN SEE ME FOR IT! THEY WILL LITERALLY NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT! HOW DO YOU FUCKING THINK THAT SHOULD BE SOLVED, HUH??? I'M LISTENING FOR SUGGESTIONS

For me it means constant sexual desires. Ever since I started HRT (hormone therapy as a trans woman) the reduced testosterone should have killed my sex-drive, but it only reduced my urge to masturbate. The desires themselves (especially desiring other people) are still present and stronger than ever.

It makes me search out sexual situations much more than others. It also makes thinking about consent very important, as I probably would do things I might regret later otherwise.

LOL

So apparently the plant which is called "Raps" in german is called Rapeseed in English. You learn something new every day XD

My personal recommendations: get the big candles, not the thin ones. They produce way more wax and don't fall over as easily. I also had a problem with them where they would melt a channel on the side and just leak out most wax. Also, as said before, colors similar to your skin tone might not show as well on camera

The producer is named Flame Marked Candles, but their website is in german

I used to have very intense social anxiety and while I overcame a lot of it, it still gives me problems in intimacy with people I don't know well. Which incidentally helps me repress desires sometimes.

To me there are also some specific situations that trigger very strong urges that I have issues controlling. For example: having somebody's head close to mine gives the strong urge to kiss them/make out, but very independently of who that is. This can be quite a hassle at work if somebody leans over my shoulder to explain/show me something. I luckily always repressed it in those moments, but it's really hard. I have the same thing with crotches also, but that doesn't come up that often LOL

It can sometimes cause concentration issues when I'm not dealing with my desires enough. A few times in the past it had gotten so far (aided though close friends finding it entertaining to tease me in those situations) that I got literally drunk from it. Like: slurred speech, drowsiness, impaired vision and the such. I had to explain to multiple people that, no, I'm not on drugs, but just horny. A friend showed me some lewd Tumblr posts and I almost drooled over her phone

Hihi :3c glad you like it

I can definitely recommend trying one on, I never felt as hot before. Very euphoric experience all around and it's not even expensive

I've always been into a lot of kinks. To me, Vanilla isn't boring per se, but I do want to live out my kinks whenever possible. Some of the stuff I'm into is extreme, but I don't feel like it's escalating over time. I still have vanilla sex sometimes, it's not bad

Currently trying to get a therapist. But due to the healthcare system in my country this could take years. Especially since it's not a priority since it's nothing urgent

They originally got me into Mastodon as a federated service. I later fled Reddit and stumbled upon Lemmy as an alternative and really liked the Fediverse aspects of it. I recommended it to others and mentioned I had made that switch a few times, so some of my friends tried it out too and made accounts.

I know some still use it rarely and I know they know my account, so I didn't want to run that risk of posting this on my main