The largest SUV weighs 2,000kg, compared with about 1,200kg for a family hatchback.

That doesn’t seem right. Modern SUVs are approaching (and sometimes exceeding) 3t, while my very normal, 2016 hatchback weights nearly 1400kg too.

Im actually not. I did exaggerate, but electric luxury SUVs are sitting at 2.5t, with the XM being quoted at 2.8t.

And then keep in mind that these weights usually include the lowest trim level only, a nicer interior, HUD etc. add weight too. Björn weighed an EQS SUV at 3t too (that seems to include himself and his equipment, but still): https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/0/d/1V6ucyFGKWuSQzvI8lMzvvWJHrBS82echMVJH37kwgjE/htmlview?pli=1#