No way, I just saw this morning that Harvard has a free online course in game development, and it's available now. You should take a look and see if it interests you :)! You can do it from home.

https://pll.harvard.edu/course/cs50s-introduction-game-development

By the way, I also suffer from depression and I know how hard it is. I hope in the dark times you can find some compassion for yourself. I know for me, making it through the day sometimes is an accomplishment in and of itself. Try to see if you can practice not calling yourself a loser even when you feel like it. You are not a loser, you may be struggling right now, but if you saw a friend going through what you're going through, would you call them a loser? Probably not. I try to replace those thoughts with "today, I'm not feeling like I'm where I want to be, but I'm doing the best I can, and that's enough."

Anyway, wishing you well and I hope you can find some peace.

It says prior programming experience or you can also take their entry level computer science course which is also free: https://www.edx.org/course/introduction-computer-science-harvardx-cs50x

It says nearly 5 million people have enrolled in that comp sci course so it must be a pretty good one.

By the way, many colleges do this, so it wouldn't hurt to shop around as well. I know Yale for one has quite a few free courses.