I was Biden my time, but the time is Nye.

Crypto-whatsit? Is that something from one of Bobby's vid'ya games?

It's a new form of money, Hank. VIRTUAL MONEY.

Well, excuse me, Dale, but here where I live, in the REAL WORLD, we already have a perfectly fine money. It's called AMERICAN DOLLARS and it works just fine, I tell ya h'wat.

You say that now, Hank, but wait until the cyber-swarm-uprising of 2034 comes and replaces your precious "real world" with a virtualsphere so indiscernible from what you think you know as real! Wake up and see what's coming on the horizon!

Can you see me kicking your ass on the horizon?

Elder millennial here.

"When life promises you lemons as a child and drills into your head the importance of preparing to make lemonade because the lemons are coming and you've got to be ready and get the sugar and the water and the ice ready because you're totally gunna get those lemons and have a lemonade-based future of stability and fulfillment and happiness, prepare to be blamed when the lemons don't arrive."

Dude, yesterday I heard a radio ad promoting "vintage alternative" music and it was fucking "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers.

Vintage.

I wanted to throw my geriatric elder Millennial ass through my windshield.

I hate that I don't have an argument against this.

This isn't even my final formal.

"Sweet deal."

The near-blinding kaleidoscope of lights and color faded to blackness as my virtual reality headset powered down. Pulling the headset away, I yawned and blinked, my eyes adjusting to the LED lighting that bathed my gaming space in neon. I fumbled to turn off the lights. Many colleagues of mine had taken to configuring such devices with voice recognition and control, but truthfully, I was too uneasy to do so myself, fearing who might be listening on the other end.

I checked the device in my pocket for the current time. Damn. Later than I hoped.

I walked sluggishly away to bed, punching buttons on the slab in my hand until alarms were set, calendars were reviewed, and quiet again took the space.

Take her to paladinner and a movie?

(Sorry.)

Ahhhhhh....look at all the blonely bleople...

Oh, don't mind him. He's just going door to door, asking people to join his religion.

Jenova's Witness.

After "fear of getting ridiculed or mocked" I'd also add "or told you're going to go to hell."

Ugh.

The second biggest roast Anakin would ever be involved in.

I know this is a grumpy old man take, but I'll never get over the fact that they decided to call these dastardly things "hoverboards."

Blasphemy, says eight year-old me, having just watched Back to the Future: Part II and now obsessed with someday obtaining a floating skateboard.

The cosplayers have been alerted.

God, I miss the Report.

I like to think that the glasses just materialize whenever a human fully achieves therapist mode.

A letter from my dead wife? I can't see this going south. Time to head into town!

Boomhauer, for once in my life, I have no idea what you're talkin' about.

pops another beer