My problem with Beehaw in general is it reeks of overzealous and manipulative mods. The internet is full of awful people but to pretend you can make an island of purity where you get to decide what is pure is going to be a worse idea in the long run.

That's been my view too. There's definitely a need for moderation, but I've been on the internet for quite some time and the vibe from Beehaw is very much concerning. Any time I've seen a community run like that, it always always ends up feeling like an echochamber run by a dictator. I want an internet that's mostly wholesome, not a "happy fun camp where there's all smiles and you had better not frown!"

Just FYI for anyone who doesn't know. The "lemmy.ml" instance is "ml" for "Marxist Leninist" and the main dev is a basically self-admitted tanky. So if you don't want any of that, it's probably a better choice to choose one of the other major instances.