I tried on a bra as a joke and couldn't figure out how to take it off.

It's a beautiful feeling when everything is nicely encapsulated.

I don't think it's any weirder than fantasizing about, say, having sex with your celebrity crush. Which is not weird at all.

So long as you're not trying to follow through on it, enjoy your imaginary lesbian utopia!

Hi there! My egg cracked at 39, and I was also extremely worried about how things would turn out. But I also knew that I had no real choice: it was transition or bust.

Think about how you'd feel growing old as a man. Is a little less upheaval worth giving up your dream?

Some of the things I worried would happen if I transitioned did happen: turns out I'm not too bothered. Most of the things didn't happen. A lot of really awesome things that I didn't think of did happen.

I have all the hobbies (thanks ADHD), so it depends on how much I want to avoid the conversation. Usually "computers" is enough to signal "danger, she's a nerd".

Otherwise it depends on what the other person might find interesting. Gardening, clay pigeon shooting, piano, mathematics, baking, and amateur radio are all fun topics I can infodump on.

I really am a nerd.

Yeah, it's scary, right? Your whole life has been turned inside out.

Your wife being supportive will make things so much easier as you figure out what you want to do going forward.

There's no rush. You can take things as slow as you need; do as little or as much as you feel comfortable with. It's also possible your feelings about what you want will change going forward. That's pretty normal.

It's also very normal for the pressure (do you know what I mean?) that caused your egg to crack to suddenly ease up, and make you start doubting yourself: whether you really want or deserve this. So be ready for that. Don't forget that you've felt this way all your life!

And welcome to the fold! We've all been through exactly where you are right now.

I saw a similar comment elsewhere, and I (mostly) agree. It just... wouldn't be me. And I'm pretty sure I'm a better person than my hypothetical cis self, just from the added perspective, if nothing else.

But still... if only...

(At least this version of me did move to Japan :3 )

Oh yeah, that's a thing. You'll get used to it. My guess is that it's a combination of reduced muscle strength combined with thinner and smoother skin.

For dryness, learn to love hand cream (and moisturizer in general for your whole body). I like the Nivea stuff in the blue tube.

As for dropping stuff, I've learned to avoid relying on friction to hold things spiderman-style and instead support them from below.

This is a bit of a cop-out answer, but the effects of HRT vary hugely based on the person. The "relief" you are feeling might be placebo, might be due to biochemical dysphoria, or a bit of both.

When I was on injections, I definitely felt a bit crappy at the end of the week, and a lot better about 30 minutes after my dose.

When I was getting my dose for patches worked out, I felt what I can only describe as "testosterone anxiety", which persisted as I slowly bumped up my dose over a couple of weeks and eventually went away when I got up to three patches. (Now I'm on spiro and back down to two, and things are fine). This was a different feeling to injections wearing off.

Now the only thing I notice is that I get four days of being really tired and bitchy pretty consistently every 25 days or so. I'm not going to speculate what that is, but since I'm on a very stable dose of two patches every two days, I don't think it's due to dosage.

Um, yeah? Transitioning massively reduced my dissociation.

That's pretty much the definition of gender dysphoria.

Who wouldn’t like that?

Surprisingly, an awful lot of men :3 One other factor to consider is how often you think about having a female body. An occasional "heh, that might be cool for a day" when you watch a gender-bending anime, or whenever your mind wanders?

A good way to confront your internalized phobias and biases is to ask yourself, if being a woman sounds good, why haven't you transitioned already?

A couple of answers I hear a lot from trans-questioning people are:

• "I'm ok with being a man." ⇨ Does "ok" really mean "ok", or is it perhaps "I don't like it, but it's all I know" (could be repressed dysphoria).
• "Being born a woman would be OK, but I wouldn't want to be a trans woman" ⇨ This could be internalized transphobia presenting as a fear of not passing.
• "I don't feel like a woman" ⇨ nobody "feels like" their gender, but you know who wants to be a woman? Women.
• "I'm worried about what family/friends/society would say" ⇨ in other words, I want to transition but other people don't want me to.

One thing I would point out is that social transition isn't just getting others to see you as a woman; it's learning to accept yourself as one too. That doesn't happen without effort and practice, and using new pronouns is one part of that.

I see a lot of posts online by easily passing people who insist that HRT is doing nothing for them. Maybe they're trolls, but I started girlmoding immediately and I started being gendered female a long time before I was able to see it for myself.

Totally. The amount of shit I can just shrug off with a "that sucks, oh well" now that would have had me spiraling before is incredible.

It kind of feels like I had life on hard mode up till now.

Woah, you're gorgeous! Keep on being yourself <3

Well if we're all sharing :3

The pills are progesterone.

Cosy and quiet, for sure. But close enough to the busy and buzzing spot that I don't have to worry about getting a hotel when I go out.

first i was afraid, (i was petrified)

Kept thinking I could never live as who I was inside
But then I spent so many nights afraid of doing something wrong
And I grew strong, and I learned how to get along
And now I'm out, on HRT,
A skater skirt and painted nails and socks pulled up above the knee
I should have thought about the clock, ticking on through puberty,
If I'd have known for just one second I could be the real me

... sorry, don't know what came over me ...

Oh my. Somewhere to wait for the bars to open :3

Fuck 'em. If they want their daughter in their life, they can learn who you are.

It sucks, but not as much as forcing yourself to be around people who want you to be someone you're not.

"Of course I'd love to transition and be a woman, it's just that I'm not trans."

That was also my logic for a looong time.