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Maybe one day I'll learn how to use Vim
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I can do it, too.
But I learned a few key steps in the process are: hit Ctrl Q, hit Ctrl C, hit Escape a few times, swear, take a breather, remember you’re in VIM and are now (accidentally rather then due to any correct move) out of INSERT mode, type :q.
Then you go to the sofa and put yourself in the fetal position.