All external links to HFY themed stories (in any form) and art should be posted as comments in this post.

Welcome to HFY!!!!

This community is for authors to post their HFY themed stories and artists to share HFY themed artwork.

While traditional science fiction often presents humans as vulnerable masses seeking refuge from menacing aliens or as feeble beings overshadowed by aliens with superior logic, strength or empathy. HFY disrupts these archetypes by challenging the norm.

In the world of HFY, humanity is bestowed with exceptional qualities, giving rise to a sense of optimism and empowerment within the reader. It seeks to uplift and inspire, demonstrating the potential of human greatness and the capacity for overcoming seemingly insurmountable odds.

Alternatively, HFY can also serve as a thought-provoking cautionary tale. Emphasizing the significance of power and responsibility that accompanies any remarkable gift or advantage bestowed upon us.

Note: This community is not run by the mod's of r/HFY from Reddit.

Rules for posting/commenting in this community.

1. Only stories and artwork about HFY is allowed. It means your story or artwork should showcase the exceptional qualities of humans.
2. If your story does not have a human character, then their defining characteristics should be influenced by humans.
3. Content that's not created by you, should be posted only with the permission of the original author/creator.
4. Please dont copy content without properly crediting original author by including a link to the original post. In case the original author is not clear, atleast include a link to the original post.
5. Promoting hatred in posts/comments will not be tolerated. Let's all be decent human beings.
6. Please be kind to first time authors in comments. Help them correct their mistakes and provide constructive criticism.
7. Do not share links to external stories/artwork directly as posts. A seperate featured post is created for the same. Post your links in this thread. Links only posts should be in this thread.

Copying posts from HFY subreddit is allowed provided the following conditions are met:

1. Posts that are tagged Text can be copied directly.
2. Posts that are tagged OC can only be copied with the permission of the original author in reddit.
3. In both cases, a link to original post should be included.

For posts that are copied from somewhere else, the following rules should be met:

1. Make sure to get permission from the original author.
2. Add a link to the original post.

This community is created for everyone in the fidiverse to enjoy their favourite genre of science fiction.

For Humans are Space Orcs themed stories, please visit [email protected]

HASO themed stories/artwork can still be HFY if the humans in the story/artwork insipre the readers or other characters in the story. An example of this is Stellaris Invicta Season 1 - Greater Terran Union

If your story/art showcases how powerful/terrible/intelligent humans are, without any characteristics that seem to uplift or inspire readers or characters in the story, then the story belongs to haso

Ice

Ice reached behind her back, making sure the Mosin-Nagant was tightly strapped to her body. She allowed herself a second or two to hook her finger under the tough synthetic fabric and yank, checking it was secure. Then she gripped the weathered metal of the comms tower and began to climb.

Her real name wasn't Ice, of course. It was Yarina Baranouskaya, but nobody called her that in the field. Too long, too awkward to pronounce. By the time you'd gotten your mouth and tongue around the name 'Baranouskaya', the spiders would have already swarmed your position and neatly packaged you in viscous webbing for later. Or worse.

A rusty metal girder crunched loudly and gave way beneath her combat boot. She ignored the burst of adrenaline now propagating through her bloodstream, shifted her weight left onto another one that wasn't so rusted, and continued to climb. No point at all in panicking, even in briefly twitching a muscle. She'd long ago accepted that death was everywhere. Mors was a dangerous planet, a rocky graveyard with more predators than clean water. You learned to deal, or you became food.

Stretching prone on the tower, she took aim into the spider nest that had formed in the front of the compound in the entrance lobby.

One down. A clean shot to the thin patch of carapace where its eight eyes divided into two groups of four.

Two dead. Three. Hold, now. Breathe out, half-fill lungs. Brace your finger against the heavy tension of the Mosinka's trigger, and pull.

Four down. Breathe. Hold. Lock on.

Five. Exhale. Pull against the Moscreep.

Someone was still alive inside the webs. Ice took a deep, fraught breath, shifted her weight perhaps a millimeter, and took aim at the viscous rope trapping a man against the wall.

Tighten against the heavy inertia. Pull the trigger.

Ice saw the man panic. His eyes bulged, and he jerked as if trying to flee his own skin, but then he realized that he felt no pain and wasn't bleeding, and scrambled free of the webs.

She allowed herself a brief moment of triumph, then shuttered away everything but cold steel focus. There was a whole building full of those eight-limbed terrors down there.

Valdez

Valdez dropped his weight and braced his heels firmly into the floor. He gripped the rough concrete, bunched his hamstrings and heaved.

The brick crumbled. Pieces came away in his hands, the cement corroded from spider venom. The section of caved-in wall trapping the man and his daughter didn't move an inch.

Valdez spat out a volley of curse words and tried again. More trickles of dust and grit came away in his hands. Scrabbling under the mass for something solid to hold onto, he found a patch of brick that didn't give way, but he had absolutely no leverage to move it. His 500lb deadlift he'd achieved last week was no use here. Lifting a slab of rubble was not like pulling a barbell. The gym was a cozy sanctuary compared to this: you walked in. You warmed up on safe, springy matting. The weights were neatly structured so you'd only have to worry about strength, not balance. You didn't have to waste half the power in your muscles struggling to orient yourself.

Nothing for it.

He dug out an injector from the pocket of his combat pants, and he slammed the payload of Dirt into his thigh.

For a few seconds, there was nothing, then the drug rippled and tore through his bloodstream. His muscles engorged, his heart pumped so fast it was no longer a beat but a one-note drone. He reached down. He worked his forearm under the fallen wall, and he shoved forward and up. Radic and Velichko darted forward, plucking the father and daughter from the wreckage.

Valdez's vision pulsed blood-red as he paced off to comb the destruction for more survivors. An ominous, too-heavy pressure built either side of his spine. He'd taken too much.

Krivezhenko

Krivezhenko spun around and fired as the spiders swarmed, spraying the corridor with hot lead. Too many. The civilian girl at her side screamed. Krivezhenko reached down to her belt for a grenade and pulled the pin.

The blast cleared the corridor. More threats flashed at the edge of her vision. The hallway to her right was freshly filling with Megalonephila terribilis. One lunged, and its teeth were halfway to her throat before her bullets painted the corridor with its brain tissue. Too slow. She had been awake too long. Her reaction time was deteriorating.

The girl was screaming again, and her terror was understandable, but Krivezhenko needed to think - she couldn't focus -

'Shut up! Please!' she thundered back, and then felt the guilt weigh a hundred pounds on her shoulders. 'I'm sorry - don't you have a gun? You're old enough, you're wearing a school uniform...'

The girl nodded, pulled herself together and reached for the little snub-nosed pistol at her belt.

The air went dark. Towering shapes blocked out the lights. The main hallway was refilling with louring eight-limbed shapes.

Krivezhenko barked a command, and the girl opened fire with her now, feet planted and arms steady like they taught in schools. The swarm of spiders thinned, but they were still coming. She plucked another grenade from her belt, yanked the pin and flung it into the maelstrom.

And then the ceiling gave way - glittering chitinous limbs reached down - they were inside the attic -

And the ones in the corridor to the left were still coming -

So hard to think - too many - only have one pair of eyes -

Krivezhenko snatched the girl to her chest with one hand, wrenched open a storage cupboard with the other and stuffed them both inside. Stupid move, she knew, but she liked her chances. The cavity was too small to fit M. terribilis inside.

She fumbled in her pocket for a vial of Dirt, and she plunged the needle into her thigh.

Ice

Something was wrong.

The shapes moving in the building were erratic, crazed. Ice couldn't see much by now, because night was falling, but it was light enough to show that they were human and not arachnid.

She reached for her night vision lenses. The cold off-green glow confirmed her suspicions.

Valdez was hunched with his back to a radiator. Krivezhenko was wandering aimlessly, talking to the air in nonsense syllables. Davidson, Moore and Yee had forgotten that there was such thing as a gun, that they had rifles slung across their backs, and were throwing ceiling beams, rubble, whatever they could lift at the oncoming spiders.

Ice angled her scope left-right and tried to see further into the compound. Some of the unit were still lucid. Lawless and Velasquez were shepherding a gaggle of civilians out through a secured hallway. Velichko and Radic were crouched in a doorway still shooting at a pair of M. terribilis coming down the hallway.

The rest had clearly taken too much Dirt.

Ice reached into the left chest pocket of her combat jacket. Three Ozolex darts. Five people all looking pretty far gone. Ice sighed and began triaging her comrades in her head. Moore helpfully picked up a fallen ceiling beam and threw it, stunning one of the spiders and shattering a window. One less obstacle for her to shoot through.

Valdez should get the Ozolex first, she decided. Dirt overdose killed you one of two ways. One: your adrenal glands swelled to twice their normal size. You stepped a little too forcefully out of a vehicle or over a pile of rubble, and they popped like overripe fruit. You bled out internally before anyone could do anything about it. Two: you wandered into the mouth of a spider because you no longer understood what a spider was. It was just a shape - an ugly one, yes, a dour shade of dark brown or black, but you had no concept that it was a threat. No idea what 'venom' was, or 'fangs'.

Judging by how Valdez was wedged lower-back-first against a radiator, not moving, he was steadily heading for option one. Krivezhenko could wait. She was gone, but still at least had a gun in her hand, and enough base reflexes left to startle when the beam went through the window. If a spider lunged, she'd probably still shoot it out of sheer muscle memory. The three berserkers could wait. Anyone well enough to pick up and throw a 200lb chunk of metal was well enough not to need Ozolex just yet.

Ice locked on Valdez. She tightened her finger against the gravelly resistance, and she fired the Ozolex dart into his left deltoid.

Next she cast about the lobby for Krivezhenko.

Ice tracked her movements as she lurched this way and that. A plume of smoke caught her attention, and she ambled over to it, reaching out to touch it. Ice opened fire. The dart struck Krivezhenko's right thigh.

Now for the last one.

Pick one with your eyes closed, Ice told herself.

She squeezed her eyes shut for a second, then swept randomly around the lobby, and the first person she happened to see was Yee. Fixing her crosshairs on his upper arm, she fired the dart in.

Valdez sat up now, his expression confused but no longer in pain. Krivezhenko was still wandering aimlessly around the wreckage, but she was starting to look more awake now, her lips forming the word 'shit' instead of random nonsense syllables.

Ice strapped her rifle back in its home between her shoulder blades, and began climbing down from the comms tower. She had no power to do anything else here.

The hollow click echoed off the tiles. A high, predatory sound, an insect’s chitter. The magazine was empty.

She was still coming. She towered to the ceiling, her eight-limbed body glistening in the low light. Venom and ropy digestive fluids dripped from her fangs.

Nothing for it. Captain Kane Ulyanov rolled beneath a fallen ceiling beam, and he dug out his last vial of Dirt, and he shoved the injector into his outer thigh.

The dose might kill him before the spider did. The drug was called Dirt for a reason. It was a reference to death. Someone mentioned the phrase ‘dirt nap’ or ‘six feet of dirt’ and the name stuck. Already there had been a deep ache below his floating ribs these last few hours. His adrenal glands were swollen. Someone was yelling on comms, but his brain no longer parsed language. He understood one or two words at most.

The drug coursed through his bloodstream. His heart accelerated, his muscles engorged. The readout on his left suit sleeve said 200/110, heart rate 160, adrenaline level 1000ng/dl, brain activity moderately compromised. He wasn’t sure what any of it meant any more.

Ulyanov rolled out from under the beam. He threw up his fists like they taught him in hand-to-hand combat class. He balanced his weight loosely on the balls of his feet, his legs forming coiled suspension not so unlike hers. She sprang forward, fangs dripping. She was still hungry, still frenzied. All the human bodies snared in webs throughout the complex, and yet she wanted one more.

He threw a combination and perhaps stunned the spider a little, ignoring the crunch of small bones in his hands. At six feet eight, he was just about tall enough to reach the thing’s head.

Loops of webbing shot out. Her jaws snapped shut on his shoulder. By luck he thrashed and kicked his way free before the venom glands engaged and pumped the corrosion in.

Another snap of her jaws drew blood from his left forearm. Time to end this. He wouldn’t get lucky a third time. Ulyanov threw his weight forward and up, latching his arm around the seam of chitinous plates where the spider’s head fused with its chest to form the cephalothorax. Locking his legs around the thing’s body, he twisted onto its back, and he put every ounce of his waning strength into the elbow strike. One. Two. Three. The force of the blow split his right ulna into two shards. Doesn’t matter. No choice. Another axe-blow from his elbow, and finally the spider’s carapace shattered, and it dropped to the tiles as its brain matter spilled.

Ulyanov screamed a command to his failing muscles, and somehow summoned enough strength to wrench himself out from under the spider’s corpse.

The signs on the walls meant nothing now. Letters and numbers were just noise, weighted with no more meaning than static on a screen.

Still his legs remembered where the med bay was. His feet followed ancient subroutines, like a cat pouncing on a rat or mouse. The brain forgets, but bone and sinew understand. His body carried him down the corridor, emptily, mindlessly, like a strip of meat twitching in the pan because that is what meat does when exposed to salt.

And the building’s AI locked onto him via the few cameras still working, and its robotics array engaged, slipping a needle into his shoulder, weaving a cast for his shattered right forearm.

Quick explanitory note: translated alien speech is rendered in Italian quotes («»).

Here's Part 1 for anyone running across this down the line.

"Hey," the greeter stepped in front of the pair. "No shirt, no shoes, no service," he said pointing down at Pascal.

"But--" Fr. Shaheen protested.

"--Nah, Just kidding, go on in. I've been wanting to say that ever since you little guys landed."

The two entered the store proper. "It'll just be a minute, My cigs are right over there--" Fr. Shaheen gestured toward one of the checkout lanes. A line of shoppers, at least 20 deep, snaked around the surrounding displays.

He swore in Arabic under his breath. "OK, it'll be longer than a few minutes."

"Short-staffed tonight," said the shopper at the end of the line. "Let me guess, Cigarettes? That's what everyone else is here for."

He glanced down at Pascal. "First time at Wally World?"

Pascal bobbed his head up and down in an exaggerated nod.

"He needs to see the other side of humanity," said Fr. Shaheen. "Those ivory tower folks at the college are showing them Olympic athletes and firefighters and renaissance masterpieces, and I want to give them the whole picture."

"Hoo boy you're in for something alright," the shopper chuckled. "Hey between you and me, if you wanna blow up the Earth after this I won't even blame you."

As they talked, a large woman in a scooter rolled up to the end of the line. "Aww!" she cooed between breaths of exertion. "So cute." She reached down and scratched Pascal behind the ears. "Whosagoodboyyesyouare!"

«I'm a person and I have personal space!» Pascal barked, ducking out of her reach.

The shopper glared at the woman. "Seriously, lady? You been living under a rock the last two months? What makes you think that's OK?"

"He's got fur, ain't he? And four legs and a wet nose. If God didn't want us to pet 'em then why'd He make 'em fuzzy?"

"You must be from Austin," said the shopper. "I thought we chased all you weirdos away weeks ago."

The pair's argument gradually increased in volume. The woman rose from her scooter and began gesticulating. Fr. Shaheen stepped between them. "Let's be charitable--"

"Cram it, fish eater!" the woman snapped.

Pascal slipped down an aisle and out of sight, anxious to avoid the melee that was surely brewing.

He stared up at the shelves and scented the air as he walked. Away from his human host everything seemed intimidatingly tall. Suddenly he felt something wet under his right front paw. He looked down at the yellow puddle underfoot and sniffed, the unmistakable odor of human excreta.

An elderly human was waddling around the corner, more of the same odor wafting off of him. "Better clean that up, sonny," he said to a passing employee.

"Clean what up?" A adolescent male voice approached from the other direction. The lad came into view and looked down at the puddle. His face flashed with frustration and then to embarrassment when he noticed Pascal's paw marinading in the mess.

"I heard over the walkie that one of you guys was here." he sighed, pulling a wad of sanitizer wipes from a cleaning cart behind him. "So, ready to nuke us from orbit yet?" he handed the wipes to Pascal. "It's the only way to be sure."

Pascal shook his head as he wrung the towelettes between his forepaws, wiping under his claws and between the pads on his palms.

"No?" The boy said as he mopped up the puddle. "You will be when you get out of here.

"I'll take those," he put the spent wipes in a trash bin on the cart. "All good?"

Pascal jerked his foreleg forward and gave an unpracticed thumbs-up along with an awkward affirmative bob of the head.

"Cool," the lad said. "Name's Jeff, by the way."

"Pascal," he synthesized, patting himself on the belly in greeting.

"Pleased to meet you," Jeff said, copying the gesture. "I'm gonna say sorry on behalf of my entire species for all this." He waved an arm vaguely indicating their surroundings. "Walmart's one heck of an anthropology lesson."

Pascal flicked an ear in goodbye and turned to walk back to the front of the store. He heard more Arabic oaths in the direction of the tills, and judging by the clamor more nicotine-deprived humans had joined the fracas. He did a 180 and trotted past Jeff finishing up his cleaning.

"Wise choice," Jeff said as Pascal turned the corner and headed deeper into the bowels of the store.

He continued walking, nose to the ground making sure not to step in any more surprises, until he heard two more humans approaching.

"Honey, why did you grab so many cans of beans?"

"It's those damn monkey foxes, Dave. I'm tellin' you they're fixin' to invade. And when they do, we'll be prepared."

"With beans?" her husband sighed. "There's only six of them. They don't mean any harm. One of them's even been coming to the radio club meetings. He's been trying to teach some of us a word or two of their language."

"It's all an act, Dave." The couple emerged from around the corner.

"There's one now!" the woman shrieked. Startled, Pascal jumped backward, knocking a few items off the shelf behind him with his tail. After gathering himself, he looked up at the woman, gawking at her spray-on tan and bottle blonde hair.

«I didn't know humans could be orange,» he muttered.

"What was that? Speak up, space coyote!"

Pascal reached into his wallet and pulled out his keyer, but the woman snatched it out of his paw.

"Ha! You're not brain-washing anyone tonight!" She hurled the keyer to the ground. Pascal dove after it just as the woman brought her foot down, intending to smash the keyer but catching Pascal's paw instead.

Pain shot up his foreleg. He stifled a bark and looked up at the male human as he massaged his paw, determined for this inter-species interaction to end peacefully. "You friend smell familiar. From radio club?"

"You got me," Dave smiled.

"Don't talk to the enemy!" his wife said, moving between him and Pascal.

Dave began tugging at her arm. "I'm so sorry," he said with a frown. "She's on some new meds; we're working on the dosage."

"ARE YOU CALLING ME CRAZY?!" the woman yelled, her eyes darting around wildly. "I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO'S NOT CRAZY AROUND HERE!"

"I'm so sorry," Dave repeated, steering her down the aisle and out of sight.

Pascal cocked an ear toward the tills again. The din had only gotten louder. He limped around for a few minutes until he caught the unmistakable smell of sugars and lipids on the air.

"Ma'am, this is a bakery, but not a BAKERY bakery." Another young human, female this time, was being accosted by an older woman. "If you want a premade sheet cake, we got premade sheet cakes. You want me to put 'Happy Birthday' on it? I'd be more than happy to, but we can't bake a cake in the shape of a Stanley cup."

"The Customer is always right!" snapped the woman.

"in matters of taste," the girl muttered under her breath.

"What was that?!"

"I said 'Is there anything else I can help you with?'"

"No! You've just lost yourself a customer."

"oh no..." the girl whispered sarcastically.

The woman spun around, nearly tripping over Pascal's tail, stabbing it with a stiletto in the process.

He yelped in pain but the woman stormed off without looking back. His cry caught the attention of the girl behind the counter. She leaned over to peer down at Pascal. "You OK?"

«Honestly I've been better,» he grunted, probing with a padded finger at the maroon stain spreading over the white pelage of his tail.

"This tail fine," he said via the keyer. "Not much this blood. Hurt worse before."

He stood there for a moment, nursing his tail in silence as the girl looked on.

At last he curled his tail tight against his back and put his paws up on the sneeze guard. "You friend sell what?"

"Cakes and cookies," she said.

"Those C A K E S and those C O O K I E S what?" He drew out the unfamiliar words.

"They're food, you eat them. You want to try a sample?"

"Not want," he wagged his head from side to side. "Might kill me yinrih. maybe that human food this yinrih poison."

"Oh, I hadn't thought of that," she said.

Pascal peeked over the counter. "No chair? What way you friend sit? All day that boss make stand you friend?"

"Yeah," she sighed. "They say it makes us look lazy if we sit. Such is the life of a wage slave. But I guess that's not a thing where you guys are from, huh?"

"We yinrih have," said Pascal. "some place we yinrih go buy this thing or that thing. Some place eat some food. When pup at that place me yinrih work, bring those food, take away those dirty bowl."

"You were a waiter!" The girl said.

"Me W A I T E R," Pascal nodded. He had set his HUD specs on his muzzle and was hastily skimming a poorly organized English lexicon for words he couldn't recall, occasionally jotting down new ones as the conversation unfolded.

"Where we come from, this place call--" he grunted the word in Outlander before finding the correct English translation. "Litter of moons. It call because planet big made of gas, have many moons, they follow planet like pups follow dam."

"That's sweet," said the girl.

"anyway," Pascal continued, "at moonlitter, it part of E D U C A T I O N of pups, they make pup work at store or at R E S T A U R A N T. They say it make pup E M P A T H I Z E with those worker in C U S T O M E R S E R V I C E when grow up."

"Ah, so it's part of your schooling, then? They make you hold down a job?"

"Yes," he nodded. "Teach F I N A N C I A L L I T E R A C Y too."

"I wonder what alien Karens are like," the girl said half to herself.

"K A R E N?" Pascal queried.

"That--" she pointed at the wound on Pascal's tail. "--that woman who stepped on your tail, that was a classic Karen."

"Yes yes," he bobbed his head. "Those we have."

"We call them..." here he paused while digging through the lexicon. "...It hard to say. "My language Outlander have thing English not have. English say 'you' for everyone, but Outlander have different 'you' for different people."

He uttered a few melodic grunts and whines. "That mean, 'you' but only for you sire or dam or litter mate. It called--" he rummaged for an obtuse grammatical term. "--it called F A M I L I A L form."

More growling, "and that mean 'you' but for friend only, That is A M I C A B L E form."

A chuff and some whining, "and that mean 'you' for everyone else. And that called T R A N S A C T I O N A L form."

Recognition dawned on the girl's face. "Ah! English doesn't do that but Spanish does. You say 'Tú' for friends and family but 'Usted' for everyone else."

Pascal flicked an ear in acknowledgement. "yes yes. Like that. When you talk to customer or when customer talk to you, It proper use transactional form. When you worker talk other worker use transactional too, maybe amicable if good good friend. But you never never use familial form at work. It considered V U L G A R."

"That bad?"

"Yes yes." Pascal geckered in amusement. "When foreigner learn Outlander they make this mistake much. Sunshine does this all the time. You see her, yes yes? Other missionary, no fur and big ears, she is from other part of Focus, planet called Hearthside. When Hearthsider learn Outlander, they think familial form mean 'I like you, you like my family, so I call you by that'. But that not right. Well, that not only meaning. Yes it mean 'I think you like family' but it also mean 'I expect you TREAT ME like family. So obey like pup obey sire or dam, or give special treatment like between litter mates. When customer use that form, it make them sound E N T I T L E D. Like you owe them respect, like they are one of your sires or your dams.

"Anyway, These Karens, they like to use familial 'you' to workers, So we have a word, it means 'one who uses familial pronoun'. Long in English but much shorter in Outlander. So I put 'Karen' in our lexicon."

The girl smiled.

"You show your teeth. That is good, yes?"

"Oh yeah, sorry," she said. "Humans show our teeth when we're happy."

"Like this?" Pascal slid his lips back, flashing his fangs.

The girl laughed. "Yeah. You know, I didn't realize how much like us you guys were. We have all these stories about aliens, some want to kill us, some want to loot our planet, sometimes we kill them. Sometimes they're so different from us that we can't even communicate. But it rarely ends well when we meet. But here we are, two veterans of the customer service trenches trading war stories. It makes the universe feel a little less lonely."

Pascal cocked an ear toward the front of the store. "The argument has stopped. I go back."

"Nice meeting you I'm Lupe, And your name?"

"Pascal," He said, rearing up on his hind feet and patting his belly.

"Bye, Pascal, Oh, and your English is great, I think you got better just while we were talking."

"Thank you. I talk more, I get better." He started off toward the front of the store.

"Got my cigs!" Fr. Shaheen, sporting a black eye and fat lip, held the carton of carcinogens aloft like a video game protagonist after acquiring a new item. A few of the other patrons were being hauled off by cops. "The bishop's gonna have some questions for me in the morning. I'm sure this'll end up in a few YouTube videos at least."

"So," he said as they walked back to the pickup, a lit cigarette already between his lips. "You've seen Man the angel and Man the ape, what do you think about us now?"

Pascal took stock of his injuries, his smashed paw and lacerated tail, then slid back his lips and looked up at the priest.

"You're showing your teeth. Is something wrong?" Fr. Shaheen asked.

«No, not at all. I know you can't smell our pheromones, so I thought imitating you're teeth-bearing gesture would let you know I'm happy.»

«I see now that humans can be violent, greedy, disgusting animals.»

"And that makes you happy?"

«Because yinrih are also violent, greedy, disgusting animals. You think these claws are just for climbing trees? I'm not as naive as you think, and neither are the other missionaries. We didn't set out to find perfect creatures to admire on a pedestal. We want others who can walk down the hard road of life together with us. We want friends, and that's what we found.»

Fr. Shaheen took a drag of his cigarrette as he stared up at the night sky. A few stars were just bright enough to shine through the gray haze cast by the street lights in town.

Just at the edge of the trailer's porch light sat an old foundation where a sizeable rectory once stood. It had been far too large for a single resident, so he had it torn down and was now living in a much more modest mobile home. At one point a youth center was planned to take its place, but the number of heads devoid of gray hairs that could be found in the pews of Our Lady of the Cedars could be counted on both hands.

Rare was the night where the priest couldn't be found puffing away in front of his trailer. Restful nights were few and far between. Maybe his smoking habit was to blame. His new housemate did comment frequently on his snoring, loud enough to be heard from the other end of the house.

That new housemate was awkwardly lying on the bench across from him, a haphazard jumble of limbs. He was covered wet nose to prehensile tail in black and white fur. He broke the silence with a cough. "Why you cleric breathe that smoke stick?" came a tinny robotic voice from somewhere in the tangle of legs. "That smoke make cough. Smell bad bad." While the little quadruped's English was improving by the day. The intonation was off, with stressed syllables appearing everywhere but where they should.

"We all have our vices," sighed Fr. Shaheen. "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"

"You cleric friend, ask ask."

"Why'd Iris insist on you staying with me?"

After a long pause, "She iris think you human maybe follow Light more good than us yinrih. Maybe again you cleric make me friend believe."

"I think Dr. Staples has been giving you guys the wrong idea about humanity."

"He doctor show us how strong human, how fast human. Show us beautiful arts. Show us human help other and not think self."

"Yeah, that's what we aspire to be," grunted Fr. Shaheen as he rose to his feet.

"Where you cleric go?" asked the creature as he oozed down from the bench and planted his hexadactyl paws on the wooden porch.

"Come on. We're going to get more cancer sticks." The priest walked to a dust-caked pickup truck parked next to the trailer. After a deep bowing stretch the alien trotted behind him.

"Turn off that synthesizer," said the priest as he turned the ignition. "I need to work on my Commonthroat comprehension."

The alien complied, slipping the small chording keyer from his wrist and placing it in a pocketed band around his right foreleg. His real voice came in quiet melodic whines and growls, as though a dog were trying to speak Mandarin in its sleep. The priest had to strain to discern the subtle shifts in volume that were just as meaningful as the underlying sound.

«When are you going to give me a human name?» the alien grunted.

"Eh? Don't you have a perfectly good Commonthroat name? ring...light, isn't it? So like moonlight, but from a ring around your home planet?"

«Yeah, but I want a name humans can pronounce.»

"What's wrong with translating your name as is?"

«This planet doesn't have a ring, and none of you humans have been on a planet that does. I feel like the name falls flat. I want my name to mean something to those around me, not just to the five other yinrih who are with me.»

After a long pause, "Back there before we left, you said you didn't believe anymore."

The alien hesitated, then tilted his muzzle up, a rough equivalent to an affirmative nod. «I was a devout pup. I went to liturgies daily, poured over hagiographies, could quote scripture as easy as breathing. Faith helped me back then. I was...am--» The next few words were lost on the priest.

"Maybe rephrase that last part, Those are some new words for me."

«Well... I'm not sure if you humans experience this, but some of us have something wrong in our brains, a condition that keeps us from feeling happy. I have that condition.»

"Depression," said the priest. "We've got that over here alright. I struggle with depression, too. A lot of humans do. My faith keeps me afloat. Sounds like it helped you, too. But what happened?"

«I always needed something solid I could stand on, something tangible that vindicated my faith. Through my puppyhood I thought I had that something, but I turned out to be wrong.»

"What was that something?"

«Persistence,» said the alien. «For a hundred thousand years the Bright Way persisted. It survived threats from without and from within. It managed to survive so long despite the often profound stupidity of its leaders. I thought only a divine mandate could keep such a mess from foundering.»

"And...?"

«It was a lot of little things. I noticed other Wayfarers could be just as rude and hateful as anyone else, and that made me wonder if the Bright Way is no better than any other group of people, is it really special? Surely the organization that claims to be the bastion of truth and virtue should be BETTER, right? Not just not any worse.

«But the tipping point was when the High Hearthkeeper tried to shutter the missionaries, the whole purpose for the Bright Way's existence, you know? 'Go, dearest little ones, spread your light to the stars, and ye shall become brighter yourselves.' That's the Great Commandment. That's our most sacred precept, that we're not alone in the universe, that we should seek out the Light's other creatures among the stars. So what? We're just going to abandon it now? Than what are we? What is our reason for being?

«That's when it hit me. If our own leader doesn't care, why should I?»

"You sacrificed a lot. It took you 250 years to get here, and it'll be at least that long before you see others of your kind again. If you think this mission from God, this Great Commandment, of yours is just a fairy tale, than why bother?"

«As for me,» said the alien, «I'm not a very gregarious person. The other missionaries with me, they're all I've got. If I didn't go with them I'd likely never see them again.»

"But still... dropping everything knowing you may never return, that's a heavy choice to make, friends or not."

«Well, you can blame Iris for twisting my ear. She said if I were right, and this is all nonsense, I will have lost nothing by coming with them. It's not like we age while in suspension, and it wasn't like I was pulling up roots by leaving home. But if the Bright Way is right, I will have gained everything by obeying the Great Commandment, so--» He quickly flicked his ears back in a cynoid shrug.

The priest was beaming.

«You're showing your teeth. Is something wrong?»

"Pascal!" the priest proclaimed. "That's your human name!"

«I don't follow.»

"Blaise Pascal, he lived 400 years ago. Most people today know him as a scientist, I'm pretty sure there's a unit of measure named after him, but he also talked a lot about faith. Pascal's wager. What Iris told you. We call that Pascal's wager. Lose nothing or gain everything."

Pascal looked out the window as the pickup pulled into a sprawling parking lot. At its center was an equally sprawling monolithic building.

«So why'd you bring me here, other than to get more of your foul-smelling smoking sticks?»

"I told you what Dr. Staples showed you was what we humans want to be. That's all well and good, but you also need to know what we are." The priest got out of the pickup and Pascal followed.

"You're definitely going to need that synthesizer."

Pascal positioned the keyer in his left forepaw, then looked up at the large illuminated sign above the entrance and attempted to sound out the letters.

"W A L M A R T"

Link to Part 2

Standing a mere stone's throw from the Eternal Hearth, the edifice was supposed to be a monument to the friendship between the only two sapient species in the galaxy, and to the yinrih who built it, it was just that, but to most humans visiting the holy world of Hearthside, it was--well--a tower of human skulls.

We had offered a large supply of medical cadavers to our new galactic neighbors so that they might better understand human biology. It was thought that the yinrih, who had terraformed every suitable body in their star system dozens of millennia before we humans put plow to earth for the first time, could bestow upon our primitive species all manner of medical miracles, after, of course, dispelling their ignorance regarding our anatomy. When the human ambassador was asked what ought to be done with the bodies after they had been studied, "Treat them as you would your own dead." seemed to be the culturally appropriate response.

What we didn't know at the time was what exactly they did to their dearly departed. Bury them? Cremate them? Nope, turns out the answer was dissolve the soft tissue with acid, then use the bones to build with. Of course, not every structure had the honor of being made from the remains of your friends and family. In more traditional corners of the system, such architecture was reserved for houses of worship. In more secular parts, this peculiar building style extended to monuments, libraries, halls of learning, and centers of political power. In the most general sense, the best way to make your building scream "this is important!" was to cover it in skulls.

The yinrih healers studying our anatomy had mountains of alien remains to deal with, and also wanted to show us weird flat-faced hairless bipeds that they saw us as friends. Building a library to house the newly acquired medical knowledge in the traditional ossuary style seemed to solve both problems neatly. So there it was, bones bleaching in the perpetual noon of a tidally locked world, containing the musings, anecdotes, theories, and observations of an intelligence that was not our own pondering the peculiarities of the human form.

Aurora sat politely at the door, ready to greet any passing visitors, human and yinrih alike. She always found it interesting how differently the two species reacted to this little library. Her fellow yinrih would hurry inside, passing the facade of grinning alien skulls without comment, but eager to peruse the shelves, learning as much as they could about these large tailless creatures. Humans would stare open-mouthed at the outer walls encrusted with the skulls and bones of their conspecifics with a mixture of disgust and fascination. Or at least that's what she gathered from their comments. The nuances of human body language still escaped her.

There was one memorable exception. He was a cleric, or at least he looked like the pictures Aurora had seen of human clergy. He approached her, teeth exposed in the way humans did to show they were not a threat, extending his arm to grasp her forepaw in a greeting gesture. After quickly remembering not to expose her own teeth, she reared up on her hind legs to better meet his gaze, wrapping her tail around the pillar behind her for balance. She politely refused the handshake. The human was positively drenched in that pungent excretion, "sweat", she thought they called it. The unforgiving heat of the nightless desert apparently did not agree with this alien visitor. It was just a brackish solution used to regulate body temperature, exuded by glands just under the surface of the skin, odorless on its own. It was the bacteria living on the skin that caused the smell. Whatever it was and however it smelled, she was not eager to get it on her pelt.

"Good, uh, morning?" said the human, quickly glancing up at the star perpetually frozen at the zenith. "Sure is hot today."

«Hello,» Aurora yipped. «It's like we say, 'On Hearthside, if you don't like the weather, too bad, it's not going to change.'»

"Quite the monument you've got here. What's it for if you don't mind me asking?"

«Not at all. I'm actually a volunteer here. This is the House of Friendship. It's a little medical library, all books on human biology and medicine.»

"Ah," the cleric responded. "And the skulls are real, then?"

«...yeah,» she hesitated. «It's considered the respectful thing to do here. You guys gave us all these cadavers to study, and we wanted to do right by you when we were done with them.»

"Fascinating."

«You're not offended? Most humans seem to think it's morbid.»

"We build our altars on top of the bones of saints. It's really not all that different, I guess. We even have a few chapels that look just like this. We usually bury our dead first, but after a few hundred years it builds up and we need to make room. The bones get dug up and they need to go somewhere." He gestured at the facade.

«Interesting,» said Aurora, ears tilted forward in attention.

"A lot of us humans still think that stuff is morbid, too. I don't know, I guess it can be, context is everything. But in a way I can see why you find it comforting. Being surrounded by friends and family. Being reminded of one's mortality also keeps your mind on the important things."

«Exactly,» Aurora barked happily, glad to finally see a human recognizing her species' gesture of kindness. «You know we've been searching for other sophonts for so long. It's kind of the whole point of all this.» She waved her paw in the direction of the Eternal Hearth and surrounding religious buildings. "We're just happy we're not alone anymore."

"Thanks," said the human. "We're just as glad as you are."

Jim surveyed the empty trailers around him as he sat in the lawn chair in front of his mobile home. Everyone else in this little student ghetto had left for spring break. It was quiet, and he liked it that way. He raised his eyes to the object of interest, a thunderhead billowing in the distance, reflecting the golden rays of the westering sun. He took a sip of iced tea as he listened to the sounds of nature: the chirping of birds, the buzzing of insects, and the quiet clicking of claws on the wooden porch behind him. The clicking was followed by the sounds of something scrabbling its way up the tree trunk and flopping down on the large branch to the left of Jim’s chair.

“Hi, Tod,” said Jim, not looking away from the skyscape.

«Good evening, Jim,» grunted a voice off to Jim’s left. «These alien skies are breathtaking.»

Of course, they weren’t alien to Jim. He had grown up in this sleepy town in central Texas and spent many spring evenings watching storms wash over the landscape. To his roommate presently lounging in the tree above his chair, however, the chaotic vista before them was very otherworldly indeed.

Tod's real name would be unpronounceable by any human tongue. Jim gave him that name when he moved into the spare bedroom of his manufactured home. Jim had posted an ad for a roommate over Christmas break, with the only requirements being a quiet lifestyle and splitting the rent. He didn’t think it necessary to specify that the candidate needed to be a member of Homo sapiens, and, until the Dewfall arrived on Earth, that qualifier would have been redundant.

Honestly, Jim couldn’t put his finger on why everything went so smoothly when the Dewfall landed. Something always goes wrong in every story about First Contact. The aliens want to blow us up. We want to blow up the aliens. Other humans blow up the humans trying to contact the aliens. In the best case, the aliens just lecture us about how violent we are and how badly we’re wrecking the environment. Maybe everything went so well precisely because we’d been rehearsing this exact scenario again and again through a hundred years worth of books and movies. But Jim figured the biggest reason was that, until the Dewfall entered Earth orbit and intercepted those radio transmissions, the yinrih were all alone, just like us. They’d been howling into the void looking for other sophonts like them for longer than we humans had been tilling the soil, and up until now they were only met with the cold, pitiless indifference of the empty cosmos.

The joy they felt upon discovering us transcended language. It transcended culture. It transcended species. It was infectious. They were so happy to see us that we couldn’t help but be happy to see them, too. Sure, the media had a nice juicy headline to milk for a week or two, a few speeches were made, and some laws had to be tweaked to make sure nobody could murder one of our little guests and get off on the technicality that they weren’t human. But the news cycle doesn’t grind to a halt just because we found out we’re not alone in the universe anymore, and ET wasn’t going to pay our bills, so life went back to normal after about a fortnight.

Well, for the rest of the world, anyway. For the little Texas hamlet that the Dewfall chose as it’s landing site, those first two weeks were just the beginning. The first thing to do was chase away all the weirdos trying to see the aliens, pet the aliens, eat the aliens, and do whatever else you can think of with or to the aliens. That wasn’t so hard. The unwanted gawkers just had to be reminded that this was Texas, so everyone old enough to write their name owned a gun and knew how to use it. After the clowns were dealt with, everyone got to work helping our little guests settle in.

First things first: communication. It was clear from the outset that humans and Yinrih were never going to speak one another’s languages. Our vocal tract and theirs were just too different, but writing, writing they could do. They learned to write English surprisingly quickly. Then it was discovered that, even if they couldn’t speak a human language, they could still understand it when it was spoken. Humans could also understand them, even if their little yips and growls were a little quieter than the average human tongue. So we would all just have to be Han Solo to their Chewbacca.

After surmounting the language barrier, it was time to talk lodging. The Dewfall was a tiny, single use craft designed with just enough room to carry six crew in suspension. It would remain where it was, acting as a high-tech storage shed, but our little guests would have to find accommodations somewhere else. They could have gone anywhere in the world. They could have been treated like more than royalty, but they let it be known that they wanted to grow where they were planted, so to speak. And that’s how Tod ended up on Jim’s porch on that cold day in January. Jim answered a knock—more of a scratch, really—at his door, and opened the door to see this monkey fox with his tail curled around a half-folded, half-rolled up copy of his ad.

Jim turned to look at his roommate lying on the branch. The orange rays of the setting sun made Tod’s red pelage glow as though it were on fire. His black ears completed the vulpine impression that earned him his name. Tod was nervously tossing a translucent fluorescent green cube between his forepaws, occasionally flicking a freely rotating corner and letting it spin on its axis like a fidget toy. Just the alloy that made up that thing’s chassis was probably worth enough to pay off the national debt, never mind whatever tech was inside it.

Tod, evidently aware that Jim was watching, tossed the cube across his back and caught it in his left rear paw and continued to fidget with it with as much dexterity as before. Tod turned to look at his roommate. Was Jim impressed? He couldn’t tell. Jim’s ears were practically immobile, and he had no muzzle to speak of. Tod was still learning the ins and outs of human body language, Jim’s lack of a tail making the endeavor that much harder. Surely his little trick must seem impressive to a creature with only two prehensile extremities. Still, Tod couldn’t help being a little jealous of the human’s ability to both walk and manipulate objects at the same time. Tod could waddle precariously while standing on his hind legs and using his forepaws to carry an object, but if he wanted to get anywhere quickly it was four legs or nothing. His tail could grasp objects. It could even support the weight of the rest of his body, but he couldn’t manipulate anything while moving at a significant speed.

“Am I supposed to be impressed by those monkey paws of yours?” said Jim.

«Oh… I was just… never mind.» Tod curled his tail around the mystery cube and turned fully to meet Jim’s gaze. He studied the human’s liquid eyes. In the center of each was a transparent dome-shaped membrane that reflected Tod’s features. Behind the membrane was a hazel-pigmented sphincter. The sphincter relaxed slightly, increasing the diameter of the aperture at its center. Delicate muscle movements turned the two orbs upward slightly, exposing the white tissue that covered the rest of the eyes. It was all lubricated with a thin lamina of mucus. When the mucus began to dry out with exposure to air, Jim would rapidly close and open his eyelids to coat his eyes afresh.

Jim hesitated for a split second before responding. Tod’s eyes, when they were fully open, appeared to be coated in vantablack. He would occasionally slide a colored reflective membrane over the eye, making it appear as though he were wearing mirrored contact lenses. Jim had noticed at least four different colors of these secondary eyelids. This was in addition to the regular eyelids covered in the same ginger fur coating the rest of his face.

“Well? Should I be impressed?” Jim persisted, raising his open palms to face Tod and making grasping motions with his fingers.

«Only five digits? And you can’t even write with any of them?» Tod plucked a leaf from the branch and scribbled on it with his writing claw, mimicking the territory-marking behavior of his non sapient ancestors. He let the leaf flutter down into the cupholder of Jim’s chair.

«It’s just ink,» Tod clarified.

Jim sniffed the blue-black scribble on the leaf. Petrichor blended seamlessly with the cool outflow from the storm in the distance. He turned back to the skyscape. The violent convection rocketing upward from the storm’s base had finally slammed against the stable air at the edge of the stratosphere, and a cloudy anvil head was pouring out across the invisible ceiling like upside-down spilled milk.

«So, what exactly are we looking at?» Tod asked.

“Never seen a thunderstorm before?”

«I was hatched and raised on a moon orbiting a gas giant. All my military assignments were either on other moons or orbital colonies. The only planet I’ve been on besides this one is nothing but desert.»

Jim turned back to contemplate Tod’s form again. He had to be 70 pounds soaking wet. More than once Jim had tossed the little ET off his couch because he was lying on it without a slipcover. Tod could barely walk and hold onto something at the same time. How on earth did he hold a gun? Did they even have guns? What on earth did armed combat look like for a four-legged species? Humanity had barely reached out beyond our own atmosphere, but we had enough nukes to glass our whole planet nine times over. What sort of apocalypse could a species who had conquered their entire solar system bring upon themselves? …And what if they pointed their weapons at us? Jim swallowed his questions for the moment.

“You’re a veteran?”

«Yup.»

“Hoo boy, you’re gonna be real popular round here.”

«It’s not enough that I’m one of only six sapient nonhumans on this rock? Why in the Void would people here care about my military service?»

“Son, this is Texas! We love our fightin’ men and women. It don’t matter where you served or how many legs y’all got. Hope you like hearing people say, ‘thank you for your service.’”

«Women? You let females in your military?»

“Yes.”

«Female soldiers and male clerics, you guys are full of surprises. You still haven’t explained what I’m looking at.»

Jim looked back at the storm. “That’s a thunderstorm. The sun heats the ground, and the ground heats the air. The air boils up into the atmosphere carrying water vapor with it. The water vapor condenses and falls as rain.” Thunder rumbled in the distance. “And there’s the thunder.”

«And what’s that?» Tod asked a little more urgently, pointing his writing claw at the storm’s base. The gesture was unusual for his species. Tod was accustomed to using his eyes and muzzle to indicate the direction of interest, but he felt this application of human body language would get his point across more quickly.

“That’s...” Jim scanned the area indicated by Tod’s outstretched paw. A swirling eddy of dust had developed on the ground, and a black condensation funnel was snaking its way down to the earth to meet it.

Up until this point, Tod had been mildly nervous about the storm. The sheer size of it, towering into the heavens, was a little disquieting. The flashing arcs of electricity it produced made him uneasy. He had seen similar phenomena back home, but always looking down from orbit. But that sound it made, now that was terrifying. Some of it he was sure Jim couldn’t hear. The grinding, roaring cacophony that seemed to come from the mid-section of the cloud was too deep for Jim’s ears. The loud claps of thunder that followed every flash of electricity were just icing on the cake. His playing with the cube earlier was as much a self-soothing gesture as it was an attempt to wow his human friend, but Tod kept his emotions in check thanks to a little trick he learned in the military. Look at the most experienced guy in the room. If he’s not panicking, then you’re OK, and up to now Jim had shown no signs of distress, but the object of Tod’s query set off in Jim a cascade of involuntary bodily processes, sharpened by three and a half billion years of evolution, designed to survive an approaching threat, by fighting it or by fleeing it.

Tod turned to Jim again, scenting the air as he did so. Epinephrin, cortisol, and perhaps the merest whiff of urea. «Jim, you OK, buddy? Should I be worried?»

Jim took some time to answer. The primitive simian part of his brain was screaming “Fly, you fools!” But the somewhat-misleadingly-named rational part of Jims brain was too busy cramming that little monkey into a closet and barricading the door shut. He quickly rehearsed his response in his head. “Oh, that little thing? It’s just a twister. We get ‘em all the time here in Texas. What’s that? It’s roaring with all the voices of the damned? Nah, that’s nothing to worry about. It’s ripping asphalt off the ground? Totally normal. The sirens? The ones we installed back when we thought the Russians would nuke us, and that we are currently sounding, thereby implying this is a proportional threat? Don’t worry your fuzzy little head.”

Jim finally responded. “We... uh... we should be fine as long as we’re south of it.” Jim looked to his right at the setting sun. To his right. At the setting sun. The sun setting in the West. The West that was currently to his right. Then ahead 90 degrees counterclockwise from the West, at the writhing column of wind and debris, appearing to stand still in the field. The field that was to their South, which, simple logic demanded, meant they were in fact North of the tornado.

The monkey burst out of the closet.

“If it’s not moving, it’s coming toward you.”

“If it’s not moving, it’s coming toward you.”

“If it’s not moving, it’s coming toward you.”

What had started as an insistent voice in Jim’s head had escaped his lips, repeating like the mantra of a madman. Tod noticed Jim's crazed mumbling and scented the air again. Now he was sure that was urea he was smelling. He hopped off the branch onto the ground, his tail coiled a little tighter around the mystery cube.

The sound of Tod’s movement broke Jim out of his meditation. he turned down to look at the little quadruped standing beside him. They were absolutely going to die. Tod was going to go down in history as the first alien to die on Earth, and Jim was going to be the nobody who died alongside him. And they would not be going gently. Their skin would be sandblasted away by the dust, their bones shattered by larger debris, their screams drowned out by the roar of the wind.

Jim’s monkey brain finally took control. Must protect tribe! Must protect little one! He swiftly grabbed Tod by the scruff of the neck and draped him over his shoulders in a fireman’s carry.

Tod let out a trilling hiss of surprise. «What in the Blind Void are you doing?!»

“Trying to save our skins!” Jim shouted as he quickly darted hither and thither, trying to choose which of the objectively terrible sheltering options was the least terrible. Flee in his car? Nope, the twister was currently blocking the only dirt road out of this trailer park. Go back inside? Of course not. Mobile homes are a tornado’s staple food source. Where was the lowest point they could get to in time? Jim looked back at the twister. It was definitely getting closer, and was that a cow up there?

Jim’s mind seized on the only option they had. “The ditch behind our trailer. That’s all we’ve got. Not gonna lie, Tod, we’re probably not going to survive.” Tod squirmed his way out of Jim's grip and hopped back on the ground.

«We might have a chance, if this thing still works, that is,» said Tod flicking his tail holding the cube.

The din of the tornado was steadily getting louder, and its wind began to pull against their bodies. The two turned and ran to the drainage ditch behind the trailer, Tod gripping the cube in his tail as though their lives depended on it. Jim went prone, covering the top of his head with his hands. He turned his eye to look at Tod, but Tod wasn’t there. In his place was a vulpine sorcerer, executing the verbal, somatic, and material requirements for a powerful warding spell to protect them from the wrath of a god of destruction. He stood on his hind feet, manipulating that powerful arcane focus with his outstretched forepaws, tail and ears blowing dramatically in the wind, hind claws digging into the wet ground for purchase against the gale. Jim could hear him mumbling something as he rotated the cube, twisting the freely rotating corners of the device, The mumbling stopped as Tod quickly glanced up toward their approaching demise. He hastily traced an arcane rune onto one of the cube’s faces with his writing claw. The ink beaded up slightly and then was quickly absorbed into the cube without a trace. The spell’s requirements met, a metal stake extended from one of the cube’s corners. Tod jammed the device into the wet soil, and…

…critical failure…

The device glowed blue for a split second, then went dark again.

Tod often wondered what thoughts would be going through his mind in his last moments. Would he think of friends and family? Would a holy canticle be in his throat? Or would he utter some blasphemy against The Light that had created him? Whatever he thought would be on his mind in his final hour, it wasn’t this.

Tens of thousands of years ago, on a rusty planet neighboring their homeworld, there developed among the first wave of colonists and terraformers a strange animist cult. The spirits that this cult revered did not dwell in the wind, for their world lacked an atmosphere, nor in the water, for their planet lacked a hydrosphere, nor in the trees, for their new home lacked a biosphere. The genii worshipped by these heathens dwelt not in natural things but in the artifices of mortal paws. Within every machine—the cult believed—dwelt a fickle spirit that must be appeased with various arcane rites. The most sacred of these rites was the holy sacrament of Percussive Maintenance, where a shaman would deliver a ritual knock with a blessed wrench upon the chassis of a misbehaving machine. As subsequent waves of colonists arrived on that ruddy planet, the cult was diluted and pushed out of the collective memory, but traces of their beliefs lingered on, especially among the rank and file of the military. Ask any of Tod’s fellow soldiers, and they would dismiss such superstitious nonsense. But sometimes… sometimes an engine wouldn’t spool up, or a fabricator leasemind would refuse to boot. All the normal troubleshooting steps would be followed: Identify the problem, Establish a theory of probable cause, Test the theory, blah blah blah. But every attempt would fail. Then, out of desperation, the frustrated tech assigned to fix the problem would utter a prayer to the heathen spirit dwelling in the machine, whack the offending mechanism with a wrench, and it would spring to life, the spirit within evidently pleased with the ritual.

Tod looked up again. The roaring hell vortex was almost upon them. He saw a giant beast, hoofed and horned, careening through the air toward them. «What’ve I got to lose?» Tod thought as he picked up a rock and bashed the cube with it.

The machine spirit was appeased.

In an instant, the cacophony was quieted. Jim noticed the sudden lack of noise and risked an upward glance. Just as he did so, a cow slammed into an invisible barrier above them. Bright blue scintillations blossomed from the point of impact, arcing like the flashes of a detaching retina. The light cascaded down, tracing the hemispherical outline of their ephemeral shield. The cube emitted a subtle whine as the hypercapacitor within absorbed the kinetic energy of 1800 kilograms of bovine mass traveling at 134 meters per second. The cow’s trajectory halted, it slid down and landed on the leeward side of the barrier. But the twister would not be denied its quarry. The cow let out a plaintive moo as it was quickly sucked back into the swirling mass.

Other missiles collided with the forcefield, repeating the light show and increasing the pitch of the cube’s whine as they did.

SLAM! A stop sign.

SLAM! A tractor tire.

SLAM! A transformer coil.

The chaos only lasted thirty seconds, but to both Jim and Tod it felt like an eternity.

Finally, the air cleared. Jim sat up and looked at Tod. Tod’s claws were digging into the meat of his forepaws, rills of blue-black ink matting the fur on his front legs.

«By the palms that nursed me, what was that?!»

“What on earth was that?!”

The pair said simultaneously, Tod indicating the retreating funnel, and Jim looking at the cube, which had stopped whining and begun a quiet low-pitched beeping.

Jim spoke first. “A tornado. Never seen one before. Don’t want to see one again. What… what is that thing?”

The cube’s beeping increased in pitch and tempo.

«It’s supposed to block quasiluminal munitions. Absorbs the kinetic energy, then you—»

The cube arrested Tod’s attention as the beeping became urgent. In a single swift motion, Tod wrapped the end of his tail around the cube, spun on his heel, and slingshot the cube into the air, then lost his balance, falling backwards onto his back. The cube traced a ballistic trajectory, flying much further than Tod’s mediocre strength could account for.

For an infinitesimal fraction of a second, the cube hung at the apex of its arc, then a pillar of light and concussive force burst forth from the cube and rocketed upwards, punching a large hole through the mammatus pouches glowing red in the last rays of the sunset revealing the purple twilight sky above. The pillar of light evaporated quickly, leaving no trace of the cube behind.

Jim stared open-mouthed at the hole in the clouds until he was alerted by the sound of tires on gravel, unmuffled by his now nonexistent trailer. A police cruiser and a pickup pulled up to the remains of Jim’s home.

An officer exited the car and walked toward the two survivors. One of the survivors was a man in his 20s, and was that his dog?

Tod executed a formal greeting, rearing up and patting himself on the abdomen with a forepaw, leaving a blue-black stain on his belly. «Ink sacs are probably dry,» Tod thought. «It’ll be a few days before I can write again.» He looked up at the uniformed human and attempted an introduction.

“*Chuff! Yip, yip! Huff, bork!*”

The cop's demeanor immediately changed. “Ah! One of our little visitors from out of town.” He jogged past Jim and attended to the little arboreal canid. “You OK, little guy?”

“*Yip, huff, wuff!*” Tod responded.

“Tod, I don’t think he can understand you,” Said Jim.

«Well tell him I’m fine.»

“He’s fine, officer.”

“And you, sir?” asked the cop.

“I’m OK, I think.”

“That twister was ripping up the road. How on earth did you two survive?”

Jim looked at Tod, then up at the hole punched in the sky.

The cop turned back to Tod. “That huge laser thing, that was something of yours?”

“*Bork!*”

The cop squatted down and looked Tod in the eyes, which were shielded by crimson bandpass membranes reflecting the flashing lights of the cruiser. “I’m very happy you were able to save yourself and your friend, but you need to be careful with your fancy little doodads in the future. I just hope you didn’t hit anything with that.”

«A retribution field generator isn’t a ‘fancy little doodad’.» Tod mimicked the stress and tone of the officer’s admonition, but all his cynoid vocal tract could manage was “awAAA ohOO OOwaah”

“Anyway,” said the cop, standing back up, “We need to get you two checked out by a doctor to make sure nothing’s wrong.” He looked at Jim. “Well, we need to get you to the doctor. I’m not sure what we can do for our little guest, but I’d hate to think we’re leaving something untreated.”

«I’m fine, really. But if you need someone to give me a clean bill of health, we can have Sunshine take a look at me. All her medical stuff is stored on the Dewfall.»

Jim relayed Tod’s suggestion to the officer.

“OK, I’ll take you to the clinic, and we’ll have Mark take your friend to his ship,” said the cop, gesturing toward the pickup.

Just then, the driver’s side door of the pickup opened. The beeping cadence of a CW repeater ID and the smell of decade-old second-hand smoke drifted out of the cab. Tod slid back the bandpass membranes covering his eyes and tilted his ears forward in the yinrih equivalent of an excited grin. He recognized that smell. The truck belonged to one of the radio club members, the first group of non-yinrih sophonts the crew of the Dewfall set eyes on after arriving on Earth.

An older man got out of the truck and ran up to the group. He looked at Jim and the officer, then down at Tod. “Hi, little man, haven’t seen you in a while. Glad to see your OK.”

“*Chuff! Yip!*” said Tod.

“Ah, sorry I haven’t learned the lingo yet. You need to come to the club meetings and teach me.”

Mark looked back at the officer.

“You’re taking him to his ship. He’ll contact their medic and have her meet you there,” said the cop.

“Will do.” Mark looked back down at Tod. “Let’s get going.”

Tod slid another pair of bandpass membranes over his eyes and surveyed the remains of their trailer. It didn’t take long for him to find the little trunk he was looking for. It was impossible to miss. Well, for him anyway. The humans probably thought it looked dark gray, but to Tod it was painted in the Allied Worlds standard safety color, peaking at a wavelength of around 0.186 millimeters. He scampered over and delicately opened the lid, trying not to smear ink on the contents of the box. He pulled out the two objects he needed: a paw keyer and a pair of HUD specs.

The HUD specs looked, well, like a pair of reading glasses designed by a dog: two frameless glass lenses connected by a bridge designed to sit on the muzzle. The keyer looked like the rubber grip on a bicycle handlebar. Four keys lined the length of the device, sitting in shallow grooves sculpted to fit a yinrih’s four middle digits, with a fifth and sixth key capping the devices two ends, designed to be gripped by two thumbs. The HUD specs and paw keyer together filled the role of portable computer.

Tod wrapped the keyer and specs in his tail and hopped into Mark’s truck. He laid down on his back in the rear seat of the cab, gripped the keyer in his left rear paw, and put the HUD specs over his muzzle. Squeezing the two thumb keys together started the boot process. The two lenses frosted over, obscuring the roof of Mark’s truck. Reams of boot text, glowing a comfortable infrared, flowed down Tod’s field of vision. After a few seconds, the screen cleared and the login prompt appeared, the square cursor blinking expectantly.

Localhost login

Username: tod

password: ********

tod@localhost:~$ omnichat

connecting...

connection successful

4 users currently online: 

tod

stormlight

iris

sunshine

==========

tod> Jim and I caught in some sort of windstorm. Both OK but our friends insist I see a healer. Currently on my way to the Dewfall. 

sunshine> It’s true you red-pelts really are unlucky.

tod> shut up. Your fur is just as red as mine, remember

sunshine> What fur? I'm a healer. I was just kidding, Tod. I’ll be there ASAP

<sunshine has left>

tod> /quit

<Leaving chat>

tod@localhost:~$ humansynth

Experimental human speech synthesizer interactive prompt

Enter phoneme string or /h for help

>>>

Mark looked down at his little passenger lying on his back, staring at the ceiling, left rear paw just barely twitching as he entered chords on the keyer. Little inky paw prints covered one side of the bench where Tod had pulled himself into the cab.

“Sorry I got my ink all over your vehicle,” Said a tinny bloodless voice coming from the input device Tod held in his paw.

Mark inhaled. The smell of a welcome rain after a long drought filled his nostrils. “Don’t worry about it,” Mark responded. “I believe we’ve seen each other before but I don’t think I know your name. I’m Mark.”

Tod uttered a few more oopaque yips and grunts. “It means 'Steadfast Friend', but that's a mouthful in English. Just call me ‘Tod’. That’s the name Jim gave me.”

“’Tod’, that’s clever, you look like a little tod fox with your red coat and black ears.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“Sure. Foxes are sly little critters.”

“Interesting. This pelt color has some bad associations back home.”

“Is that so?”

“Having a red pelt is supposed to mean you’re unlucky, and having black ears means you’re dumb. I’ve got both, so I’m constantly the butt of jokes. Nobody actually believes that, for sure, but the teasing gets really old really quick.”

“Oh, sorry to hear that.”

The topic of conversation wandered here and there as the pair drove down the road. As they were nearing the Dewfall’s landing site, the subject of Tod’s military service came up.

“So you’re a vet, then?” Mark asked.

“Yeah. Never seen combat, but did a few peacekeeping missions. Relief supply deliveries, helping refugee camps, that sort of thing.”

The truck pulled up to the landing site. A small car pulled up shortly after, a bumper sticker proudly identifying the driver as a student at the veterinary school at the nearby college. A woman got out of the driver’s seat and opened the back passenger door. Another yinrih, completely hairless with black splotches on the bare skin of her paws and muzzle, hopped out and ran to the truck.

Mark and Tod also disembarked. Sunshine looked up at Mark and executed the customary introduction, rearing up on her hind feet and patting her belly.

«Light shine upon you, friend. My name’s Sunshine.»

Mark looked pleadingly at Tod, who was now incommunicado, having removed the specs and keyer.

“She’s saying hi,” said the woman. "I'm Sarah, by the way.".

“Howdy, ma’am,” said mark.

“Sunshine filled me in on the way here,” said Sarah. “I’ll take Tod back to Jim at the clinic when she's done with her little checkup. You can go if you want.”

“OK. Thanks for your help,” Mark responded. He climbed back into the cab and started the engine.

“Seventy-three, Tod. Come see us at the radio club so we can start talking for real.”

“*Yip, huff!*” said Tod.

Mark closed the door, but quickly rolled down the window for a few parting words.

“Tod, Thank you for your service,” Said Mark as he put the truck in gear.

“…another record-breaking afternoon, with temperatures throughout the region surpassing the 90-degree mark. A cold front is set to bring relief to central and southeast Texas later this evening but looks like there may be some severe weather along with the cooler temperatures. The Storm Prediction Center has issued a tornado watch for the region until early tomorrow morning. Now it’s time for your local forecast.” Sarah let the smooth jazz drifting out of the TV wash over her and sank deeper into the couch cushions. Her eyes stung with sweat rolling down from her forehead. Without looking, she reached over and grabbed a wrinkled shirt from the laundry basket next to the couch and wiped her brow. Her eyes were laser-focused on the wall clock, watching the seconds crawl by. “4:30,” she thought. “He was supposed to be here by 4 o’clock.” She closed her eyes and tried to relax. The maintenance guy had forsaken her. Only the sweet embrace of unconsciousness could provide respite from the heat now.

She was dragged out of her blissful slide into oblivion by the sharp click-clack of claws on the hard linoleum floor. It was the halting, rhythmless gait of one unaccustomed to walking on two feet. The clicking was replaced by the sound of a tail dragging along the living room rug, desperately trying to prevent its owner from falling backwards.

She looked up at the cause of the disturbance. Two six-toed paws were digging into the carpet, and a prehensile tail was wrapped around one of the legs of the coffee table, all in an effort to keep the creature before her upright. Its lupine maw was agape, purple tongue hanging off to the side, twitching in time with the creature’s panting breath. Its wet nose was constantly scenting the air, soaking up a mélange of odors that Sarah couldn’t hope to perceive. Its erect, triangular ears swiveled about, absorbing the soundscape of the room. Wrapped in its forelimbs, clutched tightly to the ruddy flesh of its chest was a ponderous tome. «Great news!» the creature growled cheerfully as it deposited the book onto the coffee table with a thud.

“You figured out how to fix the air conditioner?” Sarah sighed.

With a padded finger the creature tapped the cover, which bore the title ‘Comprehensive Introduction to Biochemistry’. «At least according to this book here our food should be safe for human consumption.»

“That’s nice, Sunshine.”

«You don’t smell very excited.»

“It’s nearly 95 degrees inside, and it’s already half an hour past the window that the leasing office gave me for the maintenance guy to come fix the AC. Forgive me for not being head-over-heels with enthusiasm.”

Sunshine flicked her ears back in a rough equivalent to a shrug. «What do you want from me? I’m a healer, not a mechanic. But speaking of food, I think I may have a little something that’ll help you beat the heat.» Her curiosity piqued, Sarah leaned forward as Sunshine produced a small carton from a pocketed band wrapped around her right foreleg. “This is a little snack from back home on Hearthside. From the carton she produced a small translucent strip which she placed on her pendulous tongue. She drew her tongue back into her mouth for a moment, allowing the strip to dissolve. After a few seconds, Sunshine dropped back onto all fours, shook her head vigorously, then resumed panting. Sarah caught the strong scent of menthol on her breath.

“Just a breath mint?” Sarah inquired, unsuccessfully masking her disappointment. Sunshine came from a desert of eternal noon, a planet perpetually sweltering under the gaze of an unconquerable sun. Her species had subdued their entire solar system dozens of millennia before those naked Savannah apes Sarah called ancestors had even discovered agriculture. They could bridge the yawning gulf between stars, but the best thing they could come up with to cool off was a Listerine strip.

«Oh, it’s a little stronger than that. Go on, try one.» Sunshine pinched another strip between her outer thumb and writing claw, flicking the little snack with another digit in a manner Sarah assumed was supposed to be enticing. She paused, her eyes darting between the textbook on the table, the little hairless monkey fox standing in front of her, and the consumable held in her paw. A dialog played out in her mind.

“Are you really going to put that thing in your mouth?”

“It’s just a breath strip, why not?”

“An alien breath strip. It could kill you for all you know, slowly and painfully, too.”

Sarah regarded Sunshine again. She had been holding that snack out for a good thirty seconds. “Guess when you’ve got six centuries ahead of you, you can afford to be a bit more patient," She thought.

“She is a licensed medical professional…”

“A licensed alien medical professional.”

A bead of sweat rolled down her cheek, reminding her that the air conditioner was still broken and that it likely wouldn’t be fixed today. “Eh, YOLO!” Her curiosity had won the day. Sarah plucked the snack from the alien’s claws and popped it in her mouth.

The strip quickly dissolved on her tongue, leaving behind a cooling sensation. So far, so mundane. Sarah leaned back into the couch, chuckling to herself as she contemplated how old this stuff had to be, older than the US constitution, at the very least, given how long it took Sunshine and the others to get to Earth from Focus. Maybe she could start a YouTube channel eating ancient alien junk food. Still, though, it didn't really take her mind off the heat.

Just as her disappointment began to set in, the cold feeling in her mouth began to intensify. The sensation had started as though chewing a normal piece of spearmint gum, but had progressed to chewing a particularly potent piece of spearmint gum. After a few seconds, it became chewing a particularly potent piece of spearmint gum while chugging ice water. "OK, now this is getting uncomfortable," Sarah thought. "Well, it is getting my mind off the heat. Now all I can think about is my mouth freezing." The cold feeling cascaded down her chest and into her gut, then began radiating to the rest of her body.

The roof of her mouth started throbbing in pain, which then radiated to her forehead. She tried powering through the pain by sheer force of will. "It isn't real," she thought. "I'm not really cold. It's just a chemical tricking my nerves into thinking I'm cold." Through eyes tearing up in pain she caught a glimpse of the wall clock. It had only been twenty seconds since she had put that cursed strip on her tongue. She no longer felt like she was chugging ice water, now it felt like shoveling Antarctic snow into her mouth.

«Are you OK?» Sunshine whined. Sarah caught the concern in her voice but was too busy writhing in agony to pat herself on the back for achieving this milestone in human-yinrih communication. "I'm... fine..." she gasped. Sarah swore she could see clouds of super-cooled condensation billowing out of her mouth with each syllable.

It wasn't Antarctic snow anymore, now it was liquid nitrogen. She hunched forward in her seat, then collapsed onto the floor between the couch and coffee table. Through cryogenic tears Sarah could see Sunshine's large ears and muzzle hanging over her.

The penny finally dropped. Sunshine whipped around and bolted down the hallway, her claws skittering on the slippery floor. She failed to turn in time and ran bodily into the back wall, then managed to gain enough traction to dart into the erstwhile office that now served as her quarters.

Sarah could hear her frantically barking one of the traditional healer's invocations as she rummaged through her things looking for whatever implements might prove most useful. Sunshine had demonstrated several of these little rituals to her over the time she had been lodging with her. They were remnants of a time when the office of cleric and healer were still one. The particular invocation used largely depended on how severe the situation was. The one Sunshine chose did not buoy Sarah's confidence in her outcome.

«O Creator of the universe, paws and tail hast thou none, yet wield me, wretched whelp that I am, as thy instrument here within, and wrest this least of thy little ones from the jaws of death.»

Sarah was audibly whimpering now. Her vision began to fade. It felt as though her entire digestive tract was filled top to bottom with liquid helium. The blessed embrace of oblivion finally took her, but not before she saw Sunshine scampering back down the hall toward the living room, The end of her tail coiled around the handle of a satchel that was bouncing along the floor behind her.

Manny glanced at the clock on the dashboard as he pulled into the parking space. 4:36 PM. He was over half an hour late for his last appointment of the day, and a mere 24 minutes away from the nominal end of his shift. He pulled the key out of the ignition and opened the door, the perspiration-soaked back of his work shirt peeling away from his skin as he moved to exit the truck. The hot Texas air greeted him as he alighted the vehicle, a welcome respite from the even hotter air inside the cab. He shut the door, perhaps a bit more forcefully than necessary. He turned to look at the apartment number written atop the front door. Unit 38. He glanced down at the work order affixed to his clipboard and sighed. "Unit 38: Broken air conditioner". He definitely wasn't clocking out on time today. At least he'd get paid overtime. He tucked the clipboard under his arm and walked up to the door.

Sunshine took a deep breath, letting the sharp smell of alcohol fill her nostrils. Sarah's unconscious form was sprawled out on the floor before her, her left arm draped across her chest, rising and falling steadily with each breath. The contents of Sunshine's satchel were strewn across the coffee table: a just-used bottle of paw disinfectant, yellowed only slightly by its two and a half century stowage inside one of the Dewfall's cargo holds, and an electric healer's razor, also none the worse for wear despite its age. The remaining item she had seen fit to include in her impromptu medical bag, a human anatomy text recently borrowed from the college library, lay open on the floor at her side.

«OK, Sunshine, you can do this. Everything's going to be alright. Sarah's going to be alright, alright?» She began a cursory examination of her friend. She slid a pair of azure bandpass membranes over her eyes, shifting her visible spectrum down into the infrared. «Her temperature hasn't changed, and she's still breathing. That's good. First thing's first...» She picked up the razor, only to change her mind and place it back on the coffee table. «No no, that's not right. No fur. Why did I bring this thing anyway?» She began thumbing through the book with her right rear paw. She was greeted by incomprehensible diagrams and labels written in a dead human language she didn't understand. What little confidence she had been able to muster ebbed away with the turn of each page.

«Light blind me!» She kicked the book under the coffee table and crumpled to the ground, heedless of her now contaminated forepaws. «I can't do this by myself. My ignorance got her into this mess. I'll only make things even worse. She needs a human healer.» Just as she rose to her feet, there was a knock at the door.

Manny approached the door and knocked. "Maintenance," he declared in his best "How can I help you" voice. He could hear the sound of the tenant's dog skittering its way toward the source of the noise. Without so much as a "down, boy!" from the resident within, the door burst open. Manny braced himself for a physical encounter with yet another pet far too large to be kept in an apartment. When the assault was not forthcoming, he glanced down at the open doorway.

His mood immediately brightened. "One of our little visitors!" He thought. Manny had seen her walking around the neighborhood many times, all wrapped up in a white cloak with only her ebony paws and snout poking out. He had heard through the grape vine that she was some sort of doctor, but didn't know much else. He had always wanted to meet her, but could never find the courage to start a conversation. What do you say to an alien? The mundane happenings of a broke college student who had never even been out of state must seem terribly dull to someone who was born under a different sun. Now he found himself thrust into this little first contact, at a loss for words. He had just settled on a simple "Good afternoon, ma'am" when she wrapped her tail around his forearm and began attempting to drag him inside, yipping and growling frantically. Attempting, but not succeeding. The only way he was getting free of her grip was if she decided to let go, but her claws scrabbled uselessly across the hard floor of the entry way, failing to find purchase against the slick surface.

«By The Light! Another human! Please, sir, I need your help. My friend is in trouble.»

"Hay! Slow down. I don't speak space doggo," Manny protested.

Sunshine stopped her fruitless attempt at pulling Manny inside and glanced down at her empty paw. She had been making her desperate supplications in Commonthroat. Without disengaging her tail from Manny's arm, she reared up and grabbed a keyer and HUD specs that were nestled along with Sarah's keys and wallet in a bowl atop the entry table. She wrapped the keyer in her right front paw and donned the HUD specs, the claws of her left rear paw clicking impatiently against the floor as she waited for the computer to boot.

"Sir," said the keyer held in her paw, "Please, I need your help. My friend is in trouble."

Manny stood back up and attempted to enter the apartment. Sunshine's tail was still constricting his arm like a snake. "OK, what's going on?" he asked. "And can I have my arm back?" Sunshine refused to let go until he had entered and shut the door behind him. Keyer in paw, she knuckle-walked around the breakfast bar and into the living room, Manny following behind.

As he rounded the corner he noticed Sarah lying on the floor. Sunshine kept switching her gaze between Manny and Sarah, as though expecting he would immediately know what to do.

"OK, calm down and tell me what happened," said Manny.

More urgent yipping and huffing from Sunshine. «I... I didn't think it would be a problem. We breathe the same air, drink the same water. This book here,» she pointed at the biochemistry textbook with her muzzle, «says you humans consume proteins, carbohydrates, lipids, sugars, amino acids... all the same stuff we eat. I didn't think it would hurt to share a little snack.» she swept her tail angrily across the corner of the coffee table, knocking off the little carton of cooling bark.

"Mind repeating that in English?" said Manny as he bent down and picked up the carton, turning it over in his hand, examining the alien lettering on the label as though it would provide a solution.

Sunshine repeated her self-recrimination via the synth while Manny took the time to examine Sarah. He noticed her hand resting over her chest, gently rising and falling in regular time with her breathing.

Sunshine's ears perked up in sudden realization. "Don't you have emergency medical transport?" She grabbed Sarah's phone from the arm rest and attempted to unlock it. The gentle tick-tick of her claws on the glass failed to elicit a response from the device. «How do you use this stupid thing?» She had just figured out to touch the glass with the pad of her writing claw when Manny rested the phone from her paws. Sunshine gave voice to a frustrated hiss like an angry goose. «Hay! I was using that!»

"Hold on there," said Manny. "Let's not get the wee-yoo wagon involved if we don't have to."

"What?! Why not? She needs a human doctor," Sunshine said, desperately wishing she could inject more emotion into the tiny synthesizer.

Manny took a few seconds to respond, considering whether now was a good time to introduce Sunshine to the particulars of the American healthcare system. "Well, I'm a human, and you're a doctor. I think we can figure this out between the two of us. Besides," he said as he bent down and checked Sarah's pulse, pressing two fingers against her other wrist sprawled on the floor, "I happen to be an Eagle Scout, and I have the First Aid merit badge." He made this declaration as though that made him a reasonable stand-in for a paramedic. "She's breathing fine, her temperature feels good, and her pulse is normal."

Sunshine's agitation at Manny's lack of urgency began to mount. She started thumping her tail on the floor. Her anxiety caused a momentary lapse in her English proficiency. "What reason you human do nothing? On that floor this my friend die!"

"I'm not 'do nothing'," he said. "I think I know exactly what will fix her right up." He walked over to the kitchen, grabbed a cup from the counter, and began filling it with cold water from the fridge.

Sarah floated content in a featureless void, finally free of the extremes of hot and cold. She could stay like this forever. Snatches of English and Commonthroat bubbled up from the abyss. She didn't catch what the voices were saying, but a vague notion of concern tickled the back of her mind. She brushed it aside and continued drifting in this room-temperature sea of beautiful nothingness.

But her repose didn't last. A sudden shock of wet and cold tore her away from the lukewarm void. She came to, sputtering and swearing. The first things she saw were Sunshine's lapis lazuli bandpass membranes staring back at her. She bolted upright, her head barely missing the edge of the coffee table.

Sunshine pressed the top of her skull against Sarah's shoulder. «You're alright! Light shine upon all of us, you're alright! I thought you were dying!»

"Why did you do that? I was finally asleep!" Sarah glanced down at the water dripping onto the collar of her tee shirt.

«That wasn't me.» said Sunshine. She trotted over to Manny and repeated her cranial gesture of gratitude with the knee of his blue jeans.

"Maintenance," Manny repeated. "Sorry I'm late. Your friend let me in. Are you OK?"

"Well, insofar as I'm not dying, yes." She looked at the wall clock. "I wasn't even out for ten minutes."

"Glad to hear it. Now let's see about that air conditioner."

Manny got to work, checking the thermostat and then the compressor outside. Sunshine shadowed him all the while, peppering him with questions about everything he did and every tool he pulled out of his bag.

"I'm surprised you're so interested in what I'm doing," Manny said. "I figured you all think we're cavemen banging rocks together."

"You humans are so fascinating! The way you're built, the fact your forepaws are completely specialized for grasping and your rear paws are optimized for movement, how you've compensated for your lack of an innate ability to write, and how all that effects the tools you use, and how you construct your buildings and vehicles. Plus it's nice to be around people with almost as little fur as me!"

"But, like, there are others, right? Out there? We can't possibly be that interesting," said Manny as he put away his tools.

"Nope." said Sunshine.

"Nope? What do you mean."

"There's nobody else out there. We Wayfarers have been looking for other sophonts for nearly one hundred thousand years. Until we found you we hadn't encountered so much as a microbe."

Manny stood up and brushed the dirt off his pants. "So It's just you monkey foxes and us humans, all alone?"

"Seems that way." she responded.

"That... actually makes me feel kinda lonely."

"Believe me, we know the feeling. But now we can be lonely together!"

Thunder murmured in the distance. Manny looked toward the horizon, where storm clouds were gathering. "I need to let Sarah know I'm done and get out of here before that nasty weather hits.

He knocked on the window behind the compressor. "Is it working?" he asked. Sarah gave a thumbs up. "Awesome. Let the office know if something else happens. I gotta get going." He picked up his bag and started making his way to the truck, with Sunshine trotting behind.

"Listen, it was great to finally meet you, I've seen you walking around in that cloak of yours but I never knew how to say hi. I didn't even know you could speak our language with that computer in your hand."

"I'm happy you came by when you did. Come say hi when I'm out walking, and I can start teaching you Commonthroat." She set the keyer aside and shook a cramp out of her paw. "The more humans that understand Commonthroat, the less I need to use this blasted keyer."

Manny gave a thumbs up and pulled out of the parking space. Sunshine went back inside just as the gust front from the distant squall sighed through the trees.

The Hunt

Marco Polo, Orbit of Uncharted Planet “WISE J050822.11-344357.1 b” alias “Bob”

Date: 23 February 2178

Time: 14:47:12 UTC

“Well, it looks like our preliminary naming of this world is off the table. We can't call a jewel like this just Bob.” Captain Jaxon Marks smirked and leaned back in his command chair, eyes fixed on the holographic display projected before him. The planet below, officially still designated WISE J050822.11-344357.1 b, was a stunning celestial body. Turquoise oceans, sprawling continents, and vast mountain ranges stretched across its surface. The ship's sensors had already confirmed a breathable atmosphere, and the readings were still coming in.

"Captain, I'm picking up something unusual," Specialist Elianore Tucker said, with a hint of excitement.

Captain Marks's gaze snapped towards Tucker, looking sceptical. "More unusual than a garden world, Specialist? Don’t tell me we found aliens."

Tucker nodded, her eyes darting between the captain and the data streaming across her console. "Affirmative, sir. I'm reading structures, possibly habitations, and what appears to be a network of roads or pathways."

Marks's brow furrowed. "That's impossible. We're over 200 light-years from Earth. There's no way a human settlement could be out here without us knowing about it."

He leaned forward, his voice taking on a more serious tone. "Double-check your readings, Specialist. I want to know if this is some kind of anomaly or a glitch in our sensors."

Tucker's fingers flew across her console, and after a few tense moments, she looked up at the captain. "Sir, I've re-run the scans. The readings are confirmed. Whatever this is, it's definitely not natural."

Captain Marks's mind was racing. The implications were staggering. If this was indeed a settlement, it could only mean one thing: they were not alone in the universe. The thought sent a shiver down his spine. He had always wondered if humanity would ever encounter extraterrestrial life, and now, it seemed, he might be the first to do so.

"Alright, Specialist," Marks said, his voice measured. "Let's take a closer look. Raise our sensors to high gain and see if we can gather more information about this... settlement."

As the Marco Polo's sensors began to probe the planet's surface, Captain Marks couldn't shake the feeling that they were on the cusp of something momentous. Something that would change the course of human history forever.

"Captain, I'm reading something else," Tucker reported hoarsely.

Marks's eyes locked onto the specialist. "What is it, Tucker?"

Specialist Elianore Tucker's voice cut through the calm of the bridge, her tone laced with concern. "Captain, I'm reading a disturbance in the Warp C-Band. It's distorted, but it's definitely there."

Captain Marks raised an eyebrow. "C-Band? Nobody uses that for warp, Elianore. It's too violent."

Tucker nodded. "I know, sir. Most WEST ships use the E-Band, it's harder to focus but smoother to sail.”

Marks was well aware of that. The Marco Polo could even use the experimental G-Band, which allows for nearly 2000 times the speed of light but was even more finicky to focus.

Just as Tucker finished speaking, the bridge was bathed in the eerie glow of incoming ships. Two hundred vessels, each a behemoth compared to the Marco Polo, emerged from the depths of space.

There was dire tension in the air as Captain Marks' eyes widened in alarm.

And immediately the proximity alarm sounded! Thousands over thousands of ballistic objects launched from the armada towards the Marco Polo.

"Red alert! Evade, evade, evade!” shouted Captain Marks, “Bring SHORAD online, now! Navigator Dorelman, calculate a warp out of this clusterfuck!"

The Marco Polo shuddered as the antimatter reactors roared to life, propelling the ship forward at nearly 10g. The inertial dampeners struggled to compensate, the crew was still thrown back into their seats. The SHORAD turrets sprang to life, spewing forth a hail of point-defense projectiles that shredded most of the incoming ballistic objects.

Captain Marks's grin was a mixture of relief and adrenaline. "That was a lucky call, people! We're clear of the initial barrage!"

But Navigator Dorelman's voice was laced with concern. "Captain, I'm having trouble getting the warp drive online. The disturbance from the C-Band is too great."

Marks's eyes narrowed. "Keep trying, Dorelman. We need to get out of here, now!"

As the Marco Polo continued to accelerate, the crew struggled to keep up with the chaos. The ship was taking small shrapnel damage, but it was still whizzing through space at incredible velocity, dodging the incoming fire like a fly a fly squatter.

Weapon Officer Kurz's voice cut through the turmoil. "Captain, the enemy is firing unguided... cannon balls? And they're using a 'crossing the T' formation, like a pre-industrial sea fleet, firing broadsides?"

The bridge crew exchanged stunned glances. What kind of enemy would use such outdated tactics? And how could someone be insane enough to travel through C-Band warp?

Captain Marks's face set in a determined expression. "We'll worry about that later. Right now, let's focus on getting out of here alive. Engineer Dorelman, can you give me an estimate on when we'll have the warp drive ready?"

Dorelman's voice was hesitant. "I'm not sure, Captain. The disturbance is too great. You need to bring distance between their warp generators and ours… I’ll try to calculate an E-Band warp, that should give us less speed but easier warp."

Marks's eyes locked onto the engineer. "Do it, Dorelman. I’ll give you some distance to work with, everyone, make haste, we need to get out of here, now!"

"Alright, listen up!" Captain Marks barked, his voice cutting through the chaos of the bridge. "Ready all weapons! We're going to punch a line into their formation and make off as fast as we can. Helm, align 75.15, Sensors, set target painters on every ship ahead. Weapons, prepare to fire the coax rail gun in short bursts. I want them licking theirs wounds but not dead. Repeat, avoid destroying these ships. Let's show them what we're made of!"

Targeting lasers beamed through the void, marking and measuring a dozen of the massive enemy battleships. Upon contact sensors calculated the distance to 14 klicks and immediately the rail-gun fired in short, controlled bursts, unleashing energized tungsten rods at 30km/s. The rods punched straight through the battleships, causing them to lose control and roll in space, venting atmosphere and inner structure.

Already the Marco Polo surged forward, its engines screaming in protest as it accelerated to 11g. The ship shuddered and groaned, its hull creaking under the strain. At least the enemy ships, due to their massive size, seemed to struggle to keep up. They lumbered forward, their acceleration pitifully slow compared to the Marco Polo's breakneck speed.

As the Marco Polo burst through the hole in the enemy formation, the four automated SHORAD turrets calculated imminent collisions, sprang to life, unleashing a hail of point-defense projectiles that obliterated almost two dozen small, nimble fighters within two seconds.

When the Marco Polo emerged on the other side of the enemy formation, its crew breathed a collective sigh of relief. But as they looked back at the enemy fleet, they couldn't help but feel a sense of incredulity.

"What in the...?" Captain Marks trailed off, shaking his head.

Weapon Officer Kurz chuckled. "I think we just got attacked by Steam Punk aliens, sir. I mean, who uses cannon balls in space?"

The bridge crew erupted into laughter, the tension of the past few minutes dissipating. But Captain Marks's expression quickly turned serious.

"Alright, let's keep the jokes to a minimum. We just got out of a very tight spot, and we don't know what other surprises these... Steam Punk aliens might have in store for us."

He turned to the crew, his eyes scanning the room. "Let's keep our focus on getting out of here and reporting back to WEST. If I never see those Steampunk aliens again, it will be too soon."

The bridge crew responded with a crisp "Aye, Sir," remaining resolute despite the smiles on their faces.

"Captain, I'm getting a clear warp on the E-Band," Specialist Tucker said, her voice steady. "We should be able to make it back to WEST space without any further incidents."

Captain Marks nodded, his eyes fixed on the navigation display. "Let's hope so, Elianore. Let's hope so."

Marks continued to call out commands in preparation for warp, his voice steady and calm. "Alright, let's get ready to head back to Earth. Navigation, plot a course for Earth. Engineer Dorelman, get me warp, whatever you can manage."

Just as the crew was about to execute the orders, a Security Ensign burst into the bridge, out of breath. "Hold the warp! Hold the warp, Captain!"

The bridge crew turned to look at the Ensign, annoyance and amusement on their faces.

Captain Marks raised an eyebrow. "What is it, Ensign...?"

"Jamil, sir," the Ensign replied, still gasping for air. "I'm Ensign Jamil. I couldn't help but overhear your plan to warp back to Earth, sir."

Marks's expression turned skeptical. "And what's wrong with that plan, Ensign?"

Jamil took a deep breath before speaking. "Sir, I think we should not underestimate the enemy. We should not warp back directly to Earth. We don’t know…"

Kurz, the Weapon Officer, stepped forward, droning with a stern voice. "Ensign, you're breaking protocol. You should have reported to your superior officer before coming to the bridge."

But Captain Marks interrupted Kurz, his voice calm. "No, no, Kurz. The Ensign speaks rightfully. Navigation, plot a course straight out of the galactic plane, away from Earth. We'll go to warp as soon as possible."

The bridge crew exchanged surprised glances, but Marks continued, his eyes locked on Jamil. "The Ensign is correct. The enemy might have outdated weapon technology but we don’t know if the enemy is able to track warp signals. We better don’t draw a map for him to our home world. And just to make myself clear, if your Captain makes a mistake, warn him. The worst thing that can happen for being wrong is an amused smile on your Captain's face."

As the ship entered E-Band Warp, Captain Marks turned to Jamil, a small smile on his face. "So, Ensign Jamil, what's your story? What brings you to the Marco Polo?"

Jamil smiled back, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "I'm an ex-police officer, sir. I studied criminal psychology in Mumbay and worked for the homicide department for 25 years. After my second gastric ulcer I wanted to see space before retiring. My job aboard the Marco Polo is usually to calm down minor disputes and maybe lock up a drunk once a week."

Marks chuckled. "You're overqualified for this job, Ensign."

Jamil grinned. "You can't be overqualified in space, sir."

Marks raised an eyebrow. "Fair point. So, Ensign, why do you think I didn't order to destroy the enemy ships?"

Jamil thought for a moment before responding. "I think you didn't want to escalate the situation further, sir."

Marks shock his head. "That's a good explanation but incorrect, Ensign. I didn't think that far, but I knew the enemy would be more busy rescuing damaged ships than writing off destroyed ships."

Jamil smiled. "You're not much of a diplomatic guy, are you, sir?"

Marks smirked. "Not at all, Ensign. But I'll take that as a compliment."

He turned to Jamil, his expression serious. "Stay around the bridge, Ensign. You have earned it and maybe we both can learn from each other."

Jamil nodded, a small smile on his face. "Aye, aye, Captain."

The Marco Polo warped for two hours, covering almost half a light year of distance. Finally Captain Marks ordered the ship to leave warp.

"Alright, let's take a look around," Marks announced, his voice calm. "Tucker, scan the warp bands and see if we have any company."

Tucker nodded, her eyes fixed on her console. "Aye, aye, Captain. Scanning now."

Jamil, who had taken a seat to the left of the Captain, strapped into the safety belts like everyone else, looked at Marks with a curious expression.

"Captain, I have to ask, what's the plan here?" Jamil asked.

The Captain checked his own console without looking up. "We're just taking a look around, Ensign. Making sure we're not being followed."

But before Marks could continue, Tucker's voice cut through the calm.

"Captain, I have interference on the C-Band warp, incoming!" Tucker announced, “ETA four mike.”

Marks's expression turned serious. "Align straight away from the incoming angle and accelerate to cruise at 6g. Let's create some distance."

The Marco Polo's engines roared to life, propelling the ship forward at 6g. The crew was pushed back into their seats as the ship accelerated.

Four minutes later, the enemy fleet popped back into real space, right where the Marco Polo had left warp. But the Marco Polo was no longer there. It had moved away over 1500 kilometers, far outside of the enemy's weapons range.

Tucker's eyes were fixed on her console, scanning the newcomer. "Captain, I'm reading the enemy fleet. 174 ships, the same fleet that jumped on us at planet Bob, minus 24 ships."

"This is not good," Kurz said, his voice low. "We can't outrun them if they can follow us through warp."

Marks nodded and used the intercom. "Dorelman, when can you get full speed on the G-Band?"

Dorelman's voice came over the comms system. "Even without those C-Band disturbances, it will always take a couple of hours, Captain. The G-Band is a finicky thing and only used for long distance warp."

Marks's expression turned thoughtful. "Alright, let's keep moving. We'll try to lose them in the vastness of space. It seems the enemies relativistic acceleration is limited around 2g. Let’s keep cruising at 5g until we can get into the G-Band"

“174 ships.” stated Jamil. “This means they left 12 ships to tend the damaged 12 ships. Their logic is somewhat resembling human psychology.”

The Marco Polo continued to burn its engines through space, its crew on alert, waiting to see what the enemy would do next.

Tucker's voice cut through the calm of the bridge, her tone urgent. "Captain, the enemy is aligning towards us, creating a C-Band-Warp Field!"

Jamil and Kurz looked shocked, their eyes fixed on Marks, who already knew what the enemy was trying to do.

"A short range warp, right on top of us!" Marks exclaimed, his voice rising in alarm.

The bridge erupted into chaos as Marks shouted out hasty commands to get battle ready. "Dorelman, get us warp, G, F, E, D Band, whatever, just get us moving NOW!"

Dorelman's voice came over the intercom, laced with frustration. "Captain, you better make up your mind! I've just configured the engines for an G-band warp!"

Marks's response was immediate. "JUST DO IT, Dorelman! We don't have time for this!"

The enemy fleet suddenly flashed in at just seven kilometers to their side, immediately opening fire. The Marco Polo's SHORAD turrets sprang to life, spewing forth a hail of point-defense projectiles to counter the incoming fire.

"Red Alert, evasive maneuvers!" Marks shouted, his voice carrying above the din of the battle. "Fire Wrecker Torpedos at the closest ships!"

The four Torpedo Tubes opened fire, sending the bulky warheads towards two carriers and two massive dreadnoughts. The carriers spewed out fighters, which were quickly engaged by the Marco Polo's medium range missile systems.

As the battle raged on, Kurz took the liberty to fire the coax rail gun at targets of opportunity, literally cutting an alien cruiser in half and punching holes into five more ships. The crew was thrown around their seats, only held in place by the safety constrains as the ship performed insane evasive maneuvers.

For almost ten minutes, the Marco Polo danced through the void, avoiding the enemy's attacks and striking back whenever possible. Finally, Dorelman's voice came over the intercom, his tone relieved.

"Captain, I've got a D-Band Warp ready! We can jump to warp now!"

“Engage!” shouted Marks so loud Dorelman could hear him without the intercom.

The Marco Polo sped off to warp space, riding along the rough D-band warp. The crew was shaken around, struggling to maintain their footing as the ship shuddered and groaned. The D-band was the oldest practically used warp technology but closer to a roller coaster than a smooth flight.

Marks's voice cut through the din, demanding ammunition and damage report. "Alright, let's get a report on our status. What's our ammo situation?"

Kurz’s voice boomed angrily behind him. "Captain, we've got one SHORAD turret down, and the three remaining are down to 30% ammunition. Mid-Range Missiles are down to 50%, and we've got 8 Torpedos left out of 16. The coax rail gun has 60% ammunition left."

Marks's expression turned grim. "Damage control, what's our damage situation?"

The damage control officer's voice came over the intercom, his tone strained. "Captain, we've got 400 small leaks, temporarily sealed by security foam. We're working on welding more permanent seals, but it's going to take some time."

Marks nodded, his mind racing. "Alright, let's prioritize the SHORAD ammunition, take it from the damaged turret to the working ones. Whatever comes next, without SHORAD we are toast. Don’t worry about the seals, the foam should hold up for a while and we still have EVA suits."

Kurz's smuggly laughed, his tone triumphant. "Captain, we disabled seven enemy ships, with at least four being total losses. And I scored at least 20 random hits on other ships, nothing critical, but hopefully taking them out of the fight for the time being."

Jamil shook his head in concern. "Captain, I think the enemy Commander is taking this personally. He is becoming more and more reckless, sacrificing ships in a fight he could easily avoid. He's not going to leave ships behind to help the damaged ones. He might even bring the damaged ships back into the fight, even though they're only good for soaking up more hits."

His face turned sour as the bad news kept on coming, meanwhile the Marco Polo rumbled harshly through the D-band warp, the crew on edge, waiting to see what the enemy would do next.

“Do not discuss this on the Bridge.” stated Captain Marks, “Kurz, Tucker, Jamil, Dorelman. Mess Hall. Now.”

Soon the core command found itself in the deserted mess hall.

Captain Marks's expression turned grim as he concluded the dire prospects they faced. "We're dealing with an enemy that can travel the violent C-Band as fast as we can travel the calm E-Band. They can do precise short range warps, and they're not afraid to get into a bloody fight without reason."

"Agreed, Captain," Jamil concluded calmly. "Their immediate violent reaction shows they're utterly territorial. Their restless pursuit hints at them being vindictive too. They're not just defending their territory, they're seeking revenge."

"Sir, the sheer size of their fleet is ridiculous," Kurz said, his voice laced with concern. "And that seems to be just one fleet guarding a single farming world with low population. The sheer tonnage of that fleet almost surpasses all space-born assets WEST holds."

"Affirmative, Lieutenant," Tucker added. "It's like they're trying to intimidate us with sheer numbers, and to be honest, it works. But it's not just the numbers, it's the tactics they're using. They will throw everything at us, no matter the costs."

"A single farming world could never sustain such a fleet, Captain," Jamil said, his eyes squinting. "They must be a multi-star civilization. Maybe hundreds, if not thousands of worlds. The implications are staggering. No matter how superior our weaponry is, a fight between our civilizations would be apocalyptic for us."

Captain Marks stood up and straightened his uniform, looking sternly at his command crew "I will not lead them to Earth, and I will not let the Marco Polo fall into their hands," Captain Marks said, his voice firm. "No matter the costs. We'll do whatever it takes to protect our people and our way of life. Sooner I will steer the Marco Polo into a black hole."

"Aye, aye, Captain," the bridge crew replied in unison.

"We'll keep running, and we'll keep fighting," Captain Marks said, his voice resolute. "We'll find a way to outsmart them, outmaneuver them, and outlast them. And if we fail, we make sure they get nothing out of it."

The Marco Polo shuddered as it hit a series of magnetic anomalies of the D-Band warp, everyone tightening their safety belts. This wasn’t going even close to the book.

Jamil spoke up, a hint of sarcasm in his words. "Captain, before we hop into a black hole, I think we should try something. We can't just give up."

Captain Marks nodded grimmly. "I agree. Let's hear some ideas. Speak your minds, people."

Tucker spoke up first. "We can never leave our chasers behind while running on the D-Band, Captain. At worst, those Steampunkers are even able to attack us in warp when they catch up. At best we run out of energy sooner or later."

Dorelman nodded in agreement. "And we would need a couple of minutes in real space to reconfigure our engines for E-Band again. Easily half a day for the G-Band."

Kurz's voice was grim. "We won't survive long enough with the Steampunkers warping right on top of us. We need to come up with something, and fast."

Officer Dorelman's face lit up with a hold-my-beer expression. "I think I have something, Captain. One of our eight warp field generators has been damaged and can't safely operate any more. Instead, we could use it as a decoy."

Marks's eyes narrowed. "Go on."

Dorelman explained, "We could strap an auxiliary generator to it and let it drift while the Marco Polo drops out of warp and reconfigures the engines for E-Band Warp. The decoy would continue on, making it look like we're still running on the D-Band."

Tucker's eyes lit up. "I can synchronize the warp fields between the decoy and the Marco Polo. For an external observer, it would be barely a noticeable blink when the Marco Polo drops out of warp and the decoy continues onwards."

Dorelman nodded. "The warp field generator would need to run at 200% to actually fake our signature. It would sooner or later explode like a nuke.”

“Later would be better,” Jamil remarked. “How about slowly reducing the energy after launch? It's better to keep them guessing than to completely expose the bait by blowing it up.”

Captain Marks's expression turned thoughtful. "Let's get to work. Dorelman, get the decoy ready. Tucker, synchronize the warp fields. Kurz, you’ll have navigation while Dorelman is busy, also double check all weapon systems. Jamil, get me regular sitreps."

The crew sprang into action, their faces set with determination. It was a long shot, but also a good plan.

One hour later, the preparations for the decoy maneuver were complete. Everyone on the bridge was tense as Dorelman opened the hangar doors and floated the decoy outside, a worrying pile of scrap metal held together by duct tape and prayers.

Tucker's hands flew across her console as she tried to synchronize the warp fields. "Slow down, Captain, just a couple of percent. I need to align the fields perfectly."

Captain Marks's. "Kurz, you heard her. After the decoy gets going we don't have much time."

The tension on the bridge was palpable as Tucker worked to synchronize the warp fields. Finally, she nodded, her eyes fixed on her console. "It's done, Captain. Everything is running on computer now."

The Marco Polo's warp field flickered and died, and the decoy propelling both forward for one, two seconds. Then the Marco Polo slipped out of the warp field and with a hefty shaking entered real space. The decoy, meanwhile, was already speeding away several times faster than light.

The crew held their breath as the massive fleet of pursuers passed by through warp space. They could almost feel the disturbance of real space, like someone walking over their graves. It was a chilling feeling, but they knew they had to hold silence.

Dorelman's voice was calm and focused. "Engine room here, starting to align our warp generators to the E-Band Warp Field. ETA three Mike.”

“Let's get away from our warp exit,” Captain Marks announced “Helm, heading 315.90, cruise speed. Dorelman, I love your tinkering but I am gonna get ready if things go south before we get into warp again."

The Marco Polo's relativistic engines roared to life, the ship began to shake and tremble. The crew held on, this was a risky gamble, but they had to try.

Kurz let out a hearty laugh as the ship reached cruise speed. "Let's do this. We'll make it out of here, or we'll die trying."

But then of Tucker spoke concerned. "Distortions in the D-Warp-Field have suddenly ceased, Captain."

Kurz's voice was grim. "Our decoy might have just gone the way of the dodo."

Moments later, Tucker announced, "C-Warp-Fields are winding down, Captain. The enemy seems to be slowing down."

Dorelman's voice was calm and focused. "ETA two minutes for E-Band-Warp, Captain."

The enemy signal came back, moving back towards them. "ETA one mike till Warp, Captain," Dorelman announced.

The enemy armada dropped out of warp, some 1200 kilometers away, realigning for a short warp towards the Marco Polo. "ETA 15 seconds, Captain," Tucker warned.

The enemy fleet blinked in within nine kilometers. "ETA 10 seconds, Captain," Dorelman announced.

Marks's opened the intercom. "Dorelman, hit the button whenever you're ready."

The enemy barrage was underway, but the Marco Polo was ready. "ETA minus 5 seconds, Captain. HIT IT!" Dorelman announced.

The Marco Polo blinked into warp, the enemy barrage wasted on empty space. The crew breathed a collective sigh of relief as the ship disappeared into the safety of the E-Band warp.

"Made it, Captain," Dorelman said, his voice laced with relief.

Marks's voice was calm and resolute. "Let's keep moving, people. We're not out of this yet."

The flight in the E-Band was now much smoother than before on the D-Band. The crew had settled into a routine, with repairs going well and the ship managing to keep a safe distance from their pursuers.

With Captain Marks overseeing the repairs of a torpedo launcher, Tucker's voice came over the intercom. "Captain, I've managed to guesswork from the sensor readings the number and tonnage of our followers. Still over 150 ships on our tail."

Captain Marks's expression turned grim. "Keep monitoring them, Tucker. We need to know what they're up to."

The next four days passed in a blur of routine and tension. The crew worked tirelessly to keep the ship running, while the Steampunkers, as the crew had aptly nicknamed them, continued to pursue them.

On the fifth day, Captain Marks called a staff meeting, inviting Reactor Engineer Ling. "Ling, how's our fuel situation looking?"

Ling's expression was serious. "We can operate on this level for two weeks, Captain. But then we'll run out of fuel. We need to stop and scoop some Hydrogen, which would easily require a whole week."

Jamil, who had been quietly observing the conversation, spoke up. "Not exactly an option with the Steampunkers on hot pursuit, is it?"

Kurz's voice was laced with a hint of desperation. "Maybe it's better to go out with a bang than a fizzle. How about the black hole again?"

The room fell silent, with everyone brooding for a moment.

Again it was Jamil who broke the silence, "I wonder if the Steampunkers would follow us into the black hole too."

A sudden blink of realization washed over everyone.

Captain Marks's expression turned cold and calculating.

"It's not the Marco Polo that needs to end in a black hole. It's our pursuers."

A thoughtful Dorelman spoke spoke up. "The Steampunkers have a much lower relative acceleration, Captain. The Marco Polo can burn at 12g for several minutes, maybe more. The Steampunkers... never went beyond 2g. Even their fighters are slower than us."

Jamil's eyes narrowed at Dorelman. "What are you up to?"

Captain Marks let out a cruel chuckle. "We could warp into the gravitational field of a black hole, so close that the Marco Polo could escape at full thrust. But our pursuers would be sucked in, lacking the powerful relativistic engines like the Marco Polo has."

The room fell silent, with everyone considering the implications of Captain Marks's plan.

"Captain, what if the Steampunkers could just evade by a short distance warp?" wondered Tucker concerned.

Dorelman raised a brooding brow. "I'm unsure about the distortions of the black hole, Tucker. It might make their warp ineffective. But if not... If I could generate a B-Band Warp Field, this would definitely disable their C-Band-Fields."

Captain Marks's eyes narrowed. "Nobody travels in B-Band because it literally rips atoms apart, but just generating a disruption B-field, that should be not too hard."

Dorelman nodded. "I can try to modify the warp generators to produce a B-Band disruption field. But we'll need to search for known black holes to find one that's suitable for our plan. We don't want to end up in an active black hole with an accretion disk that glows at billions of degrees.”

Captain Marks's listened carefully then made his decision. "Let's get to work on this plan. I want a list of potential black holes and a detailed plan for generating a B-Band disruption field."

The teams were busy for the next hours, tinkering with the warp generators and researching known black holes. Dorelman and his team worked tirelessly to modify the warp generators, while Jamil, Tucker and Kurz poured over star charts and astronomical data to find the perfect black hole. Everyone knew that their plan was a long shot, but they were willing to try anything to shake off their pursuers.

Four days later. MACHO-20896-BLG-19, an intermediate black hole of he Olbert class, lied in ambush in the darkness, was invisible to the naked eye, only made its presence aware by bending the light of the stars behind it, even consuming light itself, its hunger eternal. And today would be feeding day.

The Marco Polo aligned its flight path tangential towards the gravity well of the monster, its course precise almost down to Planck length.

At his final speech to the crew Captain Marks's voice was calm and resolute.

"Crew of the Marco Polo, you know the plan. This is the moment we shine, no matter the costs. We'll either get home in one piece or die trying. But either way, the Steampunkers are going down into the black hole. If anyone can make this plan work it is us. We'll take out the Steampunkers and hopefully make it back to Earth in one piece. Failure is not an option."

The crew gave back a war cry, their cries full of determination. They knew that they would be dancing on the blade of a knife, the teeth of the monster itself, but they were ready to face it head-on.

And then the Marco Polo flashed back into real space next to MACHO-20896-BLG-19, its gravity well stretching out like a predators claw in the fabric of space-time.

Specialist Elianore Tucker shouted worried across the bridge. "Captain, we're fucking close to the event horizon! We're talking kilometers from the point of no return!"

Captain Marks's calmly called out commands. "Align the ship and fire all thrusters at max power! We need to stabilize our position and hold position for the B-field disruption."

The ship groaned as it was almost bent at 12g, hovering so close to the event horizon that the monster literally blacked out half the sky. The Marco Polo slowed down from falling towards the singularity of the black hole, the limits of known physics straining while keeping the ship intact.

Meanwhile in the engine hall, Dorelman's voice was screaming in frustration while trying to connect another auxiliary power cable directly into the third warp generator. "Come on, you piece of shit! Create the B-field!"

Jamil's voice chimed in, "Did you try rebooting? Maybe it just needs a kick?"

Dorelman's response was a string of curses, "I've tried everything, you numbskull! I've kicked it, I've screamed at it, I've even tried bribing it with a pint of beer!"

To make things worse, the Steampunkers warped in. 152 ships, caught off-guard, facing the black hole, some straight forward warped beyond the event horizon, gone for good, the rest immediately pulled in without mercy. As expected, they quickly aligned, creating their C-warp-fields.

But it was too late. Jamil went bonkers and used a sledgehammer to force the power connector into the warp field generator. Suddenly the lights all over the ship flickered and the generator awoke with a dull humming.

“You fucking did it.” Dorelman laughed and focused the B-field, and the Steampunkers' warp fields violently flickered out of existence, their warp drives crippled by the B-field disruption.

The Marco Polo's crew watched in awe as the Steampunkers' ships were pulled towards the black hole, their screams of despair almost echoing through the void. It was a brutal, merciless end, and the Marco Polo's watched without remorse, the Steampunkers' ships slowly redshifted towards the event horizon, their lights fading into the distance. The Marco Polo's crew surelly respected their enemies but didn't shed a single tear for them.

"Well, I guess black holes just suck," Jamil chuckled with the last enemy ship slowly faded from space-time.

The Marco Polo still burned its engines at 12g, creeping out of the gravity well of the black hole.

"We're so close to the black hole's event horizon” Tucker's voice was filled with awe, “that our time shift is almost by a factor of one thousand, Captain. Time is literally slowing down for us relative to the rest of the universe. One second for us is almost 15 minutes for the outside universe"

Captain Marks's voice was cold and calculating. "Keep burning, people. We need to get out of here before we become part of the black hole's body count."

But before they could even process the enormity of their situation, another fleet of almost 400 ships exited warp below them. More Steampunks to feed the black hole.

The crew's reaction was one of flabbergasted shock. "What the...? How did they even...?" Tucker’s voice trailed off as he stared at the viewscreen in horror.

There was incredulity in Captain Marks' voice. “Did they really send 400 ships as reinforcements without sending a scout ahead? What kind of military strategy is that?”

Tucker's voice was barely above a whisper while she read her sensors. "I think this IS the ahead scout, Captain."

Moments later, almost 2000 ships blinked into real space, also instantly falling towards the black hole. The sheer panicked reaction was evident as tens of thousands of escape pods were launched, none escaping the hunger of the black hole.

And then another fleet, again 2000 ships. And another, 800 ships. All ending up in the maws of the black hole.

The dying took on absurd scales as nothing seemed to stop the vengeful Steampunks from warping into their death. The Marco Polo crew watched in stunned silence as the carnage unfolded before their eyes.

And then, finally... nothing.

The Marco Polo crew remained silent, their faces pale and shocked, as their battle-marked ship slowly crawled out of the gravity well of the black hole. The blackness of the hungry stellar predator seemed to hunger for them, not content with the thousands of ships it had already consumed, swallowed them whole, a dark warning of the horrors they had just witnessed, the crew's minds were reeling, trying to process the sheer scale of the destruction they had just witnessed.

Two hours passed, and the Marco Polo cleared the gravity well of the black hole, finally Captain Marks's relaxed and send out the long awaited command, low and somber. "Dorelman, get us out of here."

Jamil reminded the Captain gently. "Not directly to Earth, Captain. We don't know if they have any more surprises waiting for us."

Marks nodded, his eyes fixed on the viewscreen. "I know. Let's take the long way home."

They entered E-band-warp, again out of the galactic plane, their engines humming as they zig-zagged through local space to shake off any pursuers.

But none showed up.

For weeks, the Marco Polo travelled the endless dark of space, changing course randomly, sometimes luring for a couple of hours behind a deep space asteroid, looking for their hunters, their only companions the distant stars and the endless darkness of space. Finally, they dared to make a long stop around a dark rogue neptuniod, drifting between stars, siphoning off its cold hydrogen and conducting repairs.

Still, no sign of their hunters.

The crew's silence was palpable, an almost suffocating blanket. They knew what they had seen, what they had witnessed. Yes, they saw the defeat of their enemy. But more ominously, they had glimpsed the violent resolve that lay beneath their surface. The message they carried back to Earth was clear: humanity was not alone, and any notions of friendship were a delusion.

After weeks adrift, they finally engaged the G-band warp field, propelling the Marco Polo back toward Earth. They returned with news of how one scientific vessel had vanquished an armada of thousands of warships, but also about an unrelenting enemy. The defeat they had inflicted upon the new enemy would surely awake a vendetta in their alien foes. They had awoken a giant, filled with terrible resolve.

For better or worse humanity would now awake its own monsters to prepare when they meet again.

The story itself is complete but I think I need to rewrite some wording and maybe add a more fitting ending.

There's a whole genre of sci-fi that has a major premise as "humanity is the most powerful/dominating/victorious species in the cosmos...and that's not a compliment". I always understood that to be a facet of HFY, but per this sub's description HFY should be "uplifting".

Like, a story where aliens try to invade Earth and we kick their asses is definitely HFY. But what if we then enslave the survivors of the alien horde? What if we reverse engineer their tech, go to their homeworld, and nuke their planet? What if we tailor a virus to their genome and purge the galaxy of their entire species, and their little alien babies die screaming in their little alien cribs?

Is that HFY?

Not mine, but by several people on tumblr (Archive.org link in case the tumblr link pushes a sign in)

Undocumented Buttons

"Globtroq, what are these buttons for?" asked the spindly Ognimalf named Bert, holding the pilot chair upside-down to his obese Adnap buddy, Globtroq. The unlikely duo owned a run-down repair shop for small spacecraft in the remote corners of the galaxy. Their business was far from glamorous; in fact, they spent most of their days fiddling with spaceships that had been acquired in rather dubious ways.

Globtroq looked at the buttons: two green, two pink, one grayish. They were cleverly concealed beneath the obviously human pilot chair.

“Dunno…” Globtroq mumbled, reaching towards the buttons.

"Hell no, don't touch them!" Bert shrieked, pulling the chair away. "Last time you pressed an undocumented button in a human spaceship, you emptied the entire septic tank into our garage!"

“Uhm, sorry, instinct…” grunted the portly Globtroq “Never seen such buttons. Don’t know.”

Bert held the chair overhead, turned it around, then put it under the examination lamp and used the sonic scanner on it, looking for clues.

"This doesn't make sense," he snorted in annoyance. "No labels, no cables. What are these buttons for?"

The stubby Globtroq climbed on top of table and peered at the pilot chair. “Dunno… but they hid them well. Must be something very special. You know how humans are. Always doing something incredible stupid in a brilliant way or something brilliant in an incredible stupid way.”

Meanwhile Bert flipped through the printed manual, gasping in frustration. "Crap! This manual is printed in 24 different human languages, and I can't read a single one of them. Globtroq, get me a dictionary."

…ten hours later...

"...and this button controls the windshield wiper speed," Bert finished, tossing the manual annoyed into a corner.

Globtroq, scratching his fluffy behind, asked cluelessly, "Uh, Bert, I dozed off, did they mention anything about those buttons?"

“NOTHING!” squeaked Bert “They fucking wrote NOTHING about buttons under the pilots chair!”

"That's odd," Globtroq shrugged.

“That’s not odd, that’s steaming Nacluv Shit!” a pretty pissed Bert snorted. Then he declared, holding the thick manual in his hand, "I'm going to translate the entire manual until I find out what these buttons are for!"

"That's only the Quick-start Manual," Globtroq dryly stated, lifting a massive box filled with thousands of pages onto the table.

The spindly Ognimalf suddenly grasped the enormity of the task before him, and the vibrant pink in his feathers faded away...

…six days later…

Bert's feathers had turned almost grayish as he studied the endless stack of manuals in front of him. His annoyed brooding was interrupted when Globtroq startled him by entering without knocking. As usual.

"Globtroq, what the... who is that alien?" Bert asked, pointing at a newcomer.

The fatty pointed back at his companion and replied dryly, “I found a human. It is a human pilot chair. A human should know about the buttons. Human, that spindly dude is Bert. Bert is not his real name but I am unable to pronounce his real name. Bert, that is human.”

The human let out an amused chuckle and nodded at the spindly Ognimalf. "Hey there, I'm Max. Well, that's not my full name either, but Globtroq can't wrap his tongue around..."

Max couldn't finish his sentence as Bert interrupted him, exclaiming, "Oh, by the feather gods! A human! I was going bonkers! Look, we've got this pilot chair from a human spaceship, and it has buttons that are nowhere to be found in any documentation. We've been at it for nearly a week, and…"

"Hold on, buddy. I'm just a tourist; I know zilch about piloting a spaceship..." Max explained. However, seeing the color drain from Bert's feathers, he felt a pang of sympathy for the alien avian. "...but hey, I'll take a look and see what I can see, alright?"

Globtroq happily led Max to the chair and showed him the buttons, while Bert looked at the ceiling and wallowed in despair.

“Uhm, I have an assumption” Max stated “can I visit the cockpit for a moment?”

A sulking Bert and an overjoyed Globtroq led him into the small cockpit, where Max promptly opened the glove compartment, retrieved something, asking, “You wouldn’t mind if I take one of these human snacks?”

Bert just continued sulking while Globtroq happily took one of the small snacks offered by Max.

"Tasty," Globtroq remarked.

Max nodded in agreement and returned to the pilot chair “Cherry flavor. A bit past its prime, but still good.”

Bert reluctantly followed, trying to sulk as hard as possible.

And then, to everyone's surprise, Max spat out his snack and pressed it alongside the other buttons under the pilot's chair. It stuck.

“Gentlebeings.” Max announced dramatically, "the individual who sold you this heap of junk was a downright repulsive being. These buttons? They're dried-up globs of chewing gum."

--- The End ---

Not by me, originally on tumblr by multiple people (and an archive.org link to the post in case tumblr pushes a signup). Transcription originally done by u/ElliePlays1 on Reddit, cleaned up a bit by me.

Image Transcription: Tumblr [1/2]

manyblinkinglights

id wreak mayhem for a really good scifi where sight was considered as exotic and numinous as telepathy by the protag species

roachpatrol

#everybody else uses sonar or long whiskers and that thing with the sensing electrical impuses#meanwhile: humans can 'see' which is a thing which is like and yet unlike ordinary perception#it would also only ever come into play in the same frivolous 'VULCAN STRENGTH' sort of way as Spock's extra attributes#for maximum effort vision would be faithfully written as 100% an asspull in the best way

what the fuck dude this is awesome i want this too now

curlicuecal

Okay, but what about those deep sea fish that produce light at a wavelength that *only they can see.* Predators that can somehow sense toy in a completely indectable and unfathomable manner to you; they might as well be psychic.

manyblinkinglights

YES, EXACTLY-vision is SUCH an asspull?? Sometimes it's ""dark"" and we can't see anything.And also we're impired for plot reasons! Sometimes ALIEN WEAPONRY or otherwise-innocuous ship components are ""too bright"" and yet we yell and try to hide, subject to some sort of obscure, tortuous imperative. The rest of the time we can UNERRINGLY tell when anyone is trying to play pranks on us, the names and emotional/physical status of EVERY SINGLE BEING IN THE ROOM (or, when outside civilized warrens, ""line of sight"")- and yes, of course, can't forget about our nigh-mythical fighting arts revolving around insane dodging skills.

And SNIPING. And also, god, fuck-don't forget about completely arbitrary """"atmospheric disturbances""" (fog, smoke-the new "ionic interference") ALSO plottasactically rendering our abilities moot.

glimmerbulb

Plus, some people have some powerful Vision than others, but some people have a very short effective range of Vision. However, humans have come up with devices that "change the angles of refraction" of the "light" so that the naturally impaired have their skills enhanced-but they can always be knocked off their faces or be broken.

Also some people are terrible at normal Vision work, but have excellent night vision and are skilled at working under adverse conditions.

Oooh, and human art is almost entirely Vision based. Think about non-seeing aliens trying to access the majority of human art!

manyblinkinglights

IM!!! SCREAMING!!!! GLASSES. Glasses are SUCH another great Weird Alien Gimmick. God-you get all used to your Human friend and their bizarre abilities, you just start to really trust in and rely on them in tight places and problem-solving a little bit, then you get fucken marooned on a fucken planetoid somewhere and they just in this very small little voice, after you have pulled them from the wreckage and sat down to go over your options, inform you that they've lost their glasses.

roachpatrol

Oh my god and an episode where we’re up against Evil Humans and our heros turn to their humans like ‘you can see them, right, you can tell when they’re near? you can counter them?’ and our hero is genuinely shaken and worried— they’ve got high-tech military mechanical enhancers, the devices strapped to their heads let them see anywhere, they can operate in near-absolute ‘darkness’, they can operate in near-lethal ‘brightness’, they can see through walls— not doors, not glass, but walls.

Then we have a heroic scene where the crew’s human is the scrappy, desperate underdog for once instead of the cool and collected superbeing. It is super cool. The human and the captain probably mack wildly on one another in medbay after this. Roll credits.

gutterowl

Person 1: I dunno, dude. This ‘light’ stuff sounds like a bunch of mumbo jumbo to me. I mean, how do we know it’s even real?

Person 2: Seriously, how can something be a wave and a particle? That doesn’t even make sense.

Mysterious Human: Even if you cannot perceive the light, you can feel its warmth–

Person 1: Oh my god, please shut it with the mystical hoo-hah. You’re insufferable.

roachpatrol

Mysterious, somewhat exasperated Human: the ‘light’ enters the sensitive paired apertures in our faces, passing through biological lenses and chambers to stimulate specific nerves we call ‘rods’ and ‘cones’. one set of nerves tells us the volume of light we’re perceiving, while the other estimates the wavelength frequency. the total input creates in our mind a continuous sonarscape of immense complexity, where we can perceive ‘textures’ that are impossible to understand with mere sound or touch. this is why my people’s communication devices are small, flat, silent boards: we ‘read’ the patterns of light they emit as language and ‘watch’ the patterns of light they emit as sonarscapes.

Captain: okay…. sounds fake, but okay…

gutterowl

And they just keep on making up new bullshit rules for how light works, like

Navigator: Warp drive engaged. We are approaching 90% of the Lorentz limit.

Human: What now?

Navigator: Oh, uh, it’s really complex, but lemme try. So, matter can only move so fast through space, right? Like absolutely, nothing can ever ever possibly go faster than like about 3 hundred million meters per second–

Human: Ah yes. The speed of light.

Navigator: …oh for fuck’s sake.

roachpatrol

Captain: My god! Time! Has… frozen!

Human: Fuuuuuuuuck.

Captain: What?

Human: Remember how light is a wave and a particle?

Captain: Yes, we mention this every episode.

Human: Yeah, light’s frozen along with everything else. I can’t see shit.

Captain: My god! Our sonar doesn’t work either! The soundwaves— they can’t propagate through this frozen air! We’ll have to use just our whiskers!

Human: Fuuuuuuuuck.

gutterowl

The fanfiction for this show has to be amazing.

“Shh. Don’t try to hide your needs, Captain,” Hue Mann soothed. “My sight has told me all about your traumatic memories of the war.”

“What?” Captain gasped. “But…how…?”

“The light knows all,” explained Hue. “Time slows down at the speed of light. It sees all of the past..and all of the future.”

“And what is it telling you now?” questioned the Captain.

Hue leaned in close. “It tells me, ‘Mate with them now, you lovestruck fool!”

“Damn you, Hue Mann. Damn you and your penetrating ‘eyes.’”

“Oh,” breathed Hue, voice husky and sexual. “That’s not all my eyes can…penetrate.”

em-kellesvig

goddamn, you people amaze me.

kowabungadoodles

I love the idea that the protag species has telepathy as ‘boring normal standard’ senses and they can’t understand why human thoughts seems so strange, fragmented, occasionally blank… until they realise that a great of human thought is ‘visual’ and so can’t be heard…

annlarimer

“Lori, what do your Human eyes see?”

“Coupla billboards, and it looks like it might rain.”

jacquez45

This keeps getting better

vassraptor

This is so cute. Your human crewmember is getting a crush on another human. Time to observe the humans’ weird yet endearing courtship rituals.

“Tell me all about them! What do you like about them?”

“Well, they have these amazing eyes…”

“Yeah? Better at the the wavemapping thing than yours?”

“…I don’t know how good their eyes are at seeing. They’re just this beautiful shade of brown.”

“Wait. You wavemap each other’s wavemapping organs? And have opinions about what nice frequencies they refract the waves at?”

“Yes? What’s so strange about this?”

“I thought your ‘vision’ was passive. Do you listen to each other’s ears too? And like the smell of each other’s noses?”

“Like you’ve never touched someone’s whiskers with your whiskers.”

“…That’s different.”

actuallyasisterofbattle

Hang on though, how do you explain photovoltaics if they don’t know what photons are?

tharook

That’s a point; any space-faring aliens would (reasonably) have to have a good knowledge of electromagnetism and electromagnetic radiation. (And, potentially wave-particle duality and other quantum physics.) They might even have their own ways of detecting and measuring it (photodiodes, CCDs, radio telescopes, whatever) despite not being able to perceive it themselves just as we developed ways to measure things we can’t detect (like ultrasonics, heat (infrared), radio wavelengths etc.).

So our vision might not necessarily be so mystical as telepathy to us, but more like how some species of fish are sensitive to EM fields as well as sonar mentioned above. But our eyes and brain can do a lot of processing, still, and have an advantage over other ways creatures might perceive their environment. Pertinently to space travel, sight works in a vacuum and (theoretically) infinite distance. Instead of a sophisticated EM sensor array, fleets could simply install a human and a window.

darael

There’s potentially quite an interesting plot there where our nonhuman protagonists are entirely familiar with electromagnetism in the abstract, in the same way that humans are familiar with magnetism despite not having (much) direct sensitivity to it, but it takes them a while to work out that it’s how we do that weird “seeing” thing we keep talking about,and even longer to get the hang of what frequency range we use to do it.

And they might still be baffled by optic lenses.

n1ghtcrwler

But think about the discovery of humans.

You have this space-faring race kicking around, doing their thing, discovering new worlds and civilizations. They have all this advanced technology to hide themselves from all known senses so they can enter into the lower atmosphere of a planet and observe for a bit, cloaked from being noticed until they’ve decided whether or not the new race is ready to be introduced to galactic society.

And they show up at this blue world way out on the edges of civilized space, and detect life, and drop into the atmosphere fully cloaked and ready to research, and suddenly a scientist sends out a distress message to the rest if the crew:

Millions of Earthlings have immediately begun observing *them*.

roach-works

i still love this thread and i want to further suggest: what if all those UFOs everyone’s been seeing all this time are just merrily zipping around under the assumption that we can’t fucking perceive them at all, because their saucer-shaped cloaking field hides them from just about every kind of sonar or radar or emp device.

and sure, maybe if some of us humans had a really, really complicated photon measuring machine and pointed it at just the right spot, we might be able to get a reading that light is behaving a little bit strangely, very briefly, in one tiny part of the sky (where most light comes from!) but those things are the size of a suitcase, so obviously we don’t have them.

except also those things are the size of grapes and we have two of them built into our skulls.

(This is my first attempt at writing HFY, I hope you guys enjoy it)

The k'tarr representative raised their voice over the hum of chattering dignitaries "Attention every, may I have your attention please! I understand we are all concerned but if we are to find a solution we must have order."
As the chattering of dignitaries subsided they continued "As you all know we are gathered here today to discuss the ongoing attack by hostile species fourteen..."
"What do we even know about species fourteen?"
"Would the tyrl representative please allow me to finish before speaking. It is indeed true that we know almost nothing of species fourteen itself, other than that which we have been able to discern from the construction of the catalyst weapons used against our worlds."
Catalyst weapons; the words sent a murmur through the arrayed representatives while the photocommunicators flashed with alarmed reds and sorrowful blues. Seated at the head of the assembly, the races of the afflicted worlds reacted with mixed stowicism, anger, and deep saddness.
Struggling to maintain composure the k'tarr representative continued "I will now scede the floor to the honorable prince sheltaf of the mycorian republic who may be able to grant us further insight on the nature of species fourteen."

Hobbling and assisted by a ceremonial bodyguard, sheltaf radix, third prince of the mycorian republic, ascended to the podium soft lines of pained yellow flashing along his side with each step. "I'm sure none of you here today know me, as a mere third prince my role in political affairs was minor. I do believe however that all of you knew my older sister the honorable diplomat rhelsha; it is my deepest regret to bring you news of her death, as well as that of the second and fourth princes, and my parents."
Solemnity at once took the crowd as the last whispers and feint flashes died away.
"As the eldest surviving member of the radix family it is my responsibility to take on her role as representative to the council, and to tell you how she died."

"As many of you know our capital world was the first hit by the catalyst, though the exact events are murky and reconstruction is ongoing I believe we are now able to provide the council with an aproximate series of events."
Behind him the council chambers screen lit up to display a diagram of a long elipsoid object reminiscent of a torpedo. "On the date of approximately 14/09/2358 [translated for readability] standard galactic time this object is believed to have been picked up by sensors entering the secure space around the capital world shala. At the time the object was dismissed as debris and recieved no further attention beyond the standard logging of such objects."

The screen changed to display a real image of the same object, this time inside a biohazard containment chamber and bearing dents and scorching from re-entry.
"It was not until the object subtly shifted orbit at the last minute and entered into a re-entry trajectory that the alarm was rasied, unfortunately for all of us it was already too late. Immediately preceeding and for some time post impact the object began dispersing a cocktail of various previously unknown micro-organisms, fungal spores, and seeds; the first response team on site had their respiratory systems completely overwhelmed within minutes."
The screen changed once more, revealing an image of shala from low orbit, Even from orbit a pale green scar could be seen originating from the impact point, overtaking the pastel blue of the worlds native flora. "Before we knew what was heppening the foreign organism began overtaking our natural environment at an alarming rate, our forrests were broken down into slurry by alien bacteria, the air became choked with deadly spores and the most unfortunate were directly parisatized and consumed by aggressive flora; my sister..."

As the last prince of shala lapsed into silence representative k'tarr resumed the podium and glanced at the head of the assembly. "I'm sure many of you have similar stories to share, at present twenty one worlds have been overrun by the catalyst bioweapon and trillions have died."
There was a commotion among the assembled delegates as the lanian representative broke down and had to be removed from the assembly.
"Thanks to the bravery and sacrifice of mycorian scientists, and many others from all over the union we do now have at least some information about species fourteen. Reverse engineering of the catalyst weapons themselves suggests their spaceflight is surprisingly crude as each one utilizes only the most basic and inneficient of blink drives, analysis of the alloys used suggests they were manufactured under a lower gravity than is standard for habitable worlds. Finally sequenceing of the genomes of some of the bioweapon strains shows they share a common base, though we cannot expect species fourteens natural ecology to be remotely similar to that of their bioweapons our scientists believe we can still uncover valuble information about their metabolisms and the likely atmospheric composition of their homeworld."

The council chamber erupted in speculation as delegates considered the potential implications of such information and argued about how it should be used. As the chatter grew into a roar the delegate k'tarr once again had to raise their voice. "I'm sure you all have questions, even demands; before then I have one simple proposition. Scientsits from the mycorian republic working with the countil believe they have pinpointed the aproximate location of species fourteens homeworld. My government proposes a resolution to launch a covert expedition to this world in order to gather more information about our enemy in advance of a counterattack. If there are no objections to this proposal would the esteemed representatives please now cast their votes.

Originally made by swanjolras on tumblr, however that tumblr deactivated or renamed itself. Currently-working tumblr link (it's a reblog) and a Reddit screenshot

gosh but like we spent hundreds of years looking up at the stars and wondering “is there anybody out there” and hoping and guessing and imagining

because we as a species were so lonely and we wanted friends so bad, we wanted to meet other species and we wanted to talk to them and we wanted to learn from them and to stop being the only people in the universe

and we started realizing that things were maybe not going so good for us— we got scared that we were going to blow each other up, we got scared that we were going to break our planet permanently, we got scared that in a hundred years we were all going to be dead and gone and even if there were other people out there, we’d never get to meet them

and then

we built robots?

and we gave them names and we gave them brains made out of silicon and we pretended they were people and we told them hey you wanna go exploring, and of course they did, because we had made them in our own image

and maybe in a hundred years we won’t be around any more, maybe yeah the planet will be a mess and we’ll all be dead, and if other people come from the stars we won’t be around to meet them and say hi! how are you! we’re people, too! you’re not alone any more!, maybe we’ll be gone

but we built robots, who have beat-up hulls and metal brains, and who have names; and if the other people come and say, who were these people? what were they like?

the robots can say, when they made us, they called us discovery; they called us curiosity; they called us explorer; they called us spirit. they must have thought that was important.

and they told us to tell you hello.

Originally written by injuries-in-dust on tumblr (non-tumblr link in case tumblr pushes you to make an account), not by me.

“Boredom is a dangerous thing to a human.”

“I don’t understand,” Chuul’s mandibles clicked nervously, “why not simply take the tool from the human.”

Minxx’s antennae stood straight up, a sign of shock, fear, or surprise, “You don’t simply take something from a human. If you do they will either turn the ship upside down trying to find it again, or they will replace it with something else that will lead to more destruction.

“I speak quite literally by the way. Human-Mark used to have a tool he called an “Hex Key” he used it to remove the doors to the clothing storage areas in his quarters because he was bored. When he lost it he literally turned the ship upside down by reversing the gravity.”

Chuul’s tentacles curled up defensively, “Gravity controls are locked, how-”

“No one knows how.” Minxx shook her small wings as the memory of suddenly falling upwards returned to her. “but his reasoning was that the tool would fall out of whatever hiding place it had come to rest within. He had not considered that all tables, chairs, equipment, and personnel, would also fall. It took weeks to clean.”

To be fair to the human, Mark had only intended to reverse the gravity in his own quarters but had, quote, “pushed the wrong button.” A sentence which would send fear through any intelligent creature in the known galaxy. To be completely unfair to the human, there were still stains on the ceiling in almost every room of the ship from dropped food, chemicals, various other liquids, and even a couple of empty bowels. Some races just didn’t find the idea of resting comfortably in their sleeping quarters, only to be suddenly awakened as they fell ten feet toward a ceiling which had now become a floor. Mark was no longer allowed near environmental controls.

Minxx continued, “He did not find this “Hex Key.” However, he did find the screwdriver and it seemed to please him when an owner was not located. The captain let him keep it since it seemed that it would keep him from doing any more strange things to locate his original lost tool. We did not consider-” she trailed off as her wings quivered again.

There was silence between them for a few moments, Minxx was almost unwilling to continue and Chuul was almost too afraid to press for more details. Slowly, but surely, Minxx calmed herself enough to speak again. “we did not consider what he may be able to do when armed with a leverage optimiser.”

“We were given shore leave while the ship was being fixed after the gravity incident. Thank goodness the captain took out act’s-of-human insurance or it would have cost the profits from our next five cargo hauls.” The premiums were high, but it was worth it. “After 14 rotations, human-Mark began to complain over the lack of stimulation, he called it “bored.” On the 15th rotation he disappeared for some time and he had hoped he had found some new activity to occupy his time.”

Chuul did, but at the same time didn’t, want to know, “Had he?”

Minxx waved her antennae in confirmation, “he had. He was located in one of the cargo holds, using the screwdriver to dismantle one of the mining probes. To, quote “see how it worked.” It was almost 90% deconstructed.”

Mark had claimed it was almost 10% REconstructed, as he was trying to put it back together again, but couldn't quite remember where all the parts went. In Mark’s words, the captain was a “glass half-empty kinda guy” (whatever that meant) and wrote DEconstructed on the claim form for a replacement probe.

Chuul’s natural camouflage kicked in and they took on the colour of the chair they were sitting on. “Those probes have no screws for the leverage optimiser to use, how did he-”

Minxx’s wings shivered again, “no one knows how. He just did.”

Chuul was silent for a moment. He’d never served on a ship with a human before. He’d heard they made things “interesting” and if you ever got into trouble, a human was the very best thing to ever have on your side. It was why they were so many job opportunities for humans in the alliance. All the same...the thought of a human causing such damage and destruction just because of a lack of mental, or physical, stimulation was a more than a little frightening. What if the human wanted to see how the engines worked, or the weapons?!! “Maybe I should transfer to another ship.”

Minxx’s antennae curled, a smile to her race. “You are safe. The captain has found a way to occupy our humans free time. During our last stopover, he commissioned a shiny orb be constructed.”

Chuul coked their head, “what is a shiny orb?”

Minxx’s curled antennae moved up an down; a sign of mild laughter. “It is nothing. A sphere made of shiny metals, humans do like shiny things, roughly two feet diameter made of a collection of gears, levers, screws and switches which appear complex and should have a function, but do entirely nothing. The captain handed it to Human-Mark and stated: “see if you can fix this.” and Mark has been “tinkering” with it during his off-duty hours for almost 24 rotations now. He can take it apart and rebuild it as many times as he likes, but it will never perform any task.”

Chuul was just thinking about how their captain must be a genius, when the door to the mess hall opened and Human-Mark entered. He was carrying the shiny orb under one arm, and his screwdriver in the other hand. He looked around, seemingly not noticing any of the crew members. He smiled when he spotted an empty liquid container and sat down at the table with the cup.

Chuul and Minxx watched curiously as Mark set the orb on the table in front of the cup. He used the screwdriver to tighten one small screw and flipped a switch. At once there was a whirring and clicking of clockwork, a blinking of lights hidden in the depths of the machine and even a TING from a small bell. Then a small funnel-shaped piece of metal opened up in the side of the machine and poured a small amount of hot, black, liquid into the cup.

Mark jumped to his feet, pumping the air and yelling loudly enough to send Chuul’s camouflage reflex off again. He grabbed the orb, abandoning the cup of steaming hot liquid, and moved to the door.

Minxx stared after them, “Human-Mark?”

Mark only paused for a second in the doorway. He was prominently displaying his predatory teeth. Chuul had read about these “smiles” but it was still disturbing to see. “Can’t stop Minxy. I gotta let the captain know I fixed his coffee maker.”

With that, he left. Leaving Chuul and Minxx frozen in place, dumbfounded.

Wherever Chuul was going to transfer to, Minxx began to hope she could get a posting on the same ship.

The Survivors

“How did your people survive your first contact with the humans?” Slaver Lord Abrax catches up with Guild Master Felbin right after the official part of the conference was over.

“Hm?” the fat albino wombat wonders while munching fried roaches, looking puzzled into the face of the mighty reptilian warrior. “What do you mean? Survive?”

“You said you made first contact recently with the humans, didn’t you?”

“Oh yes. Weird people. Crossed into an exclusive trade zone inside our border, nibbled at some asteroids without asking. I send a scout ships, delivered an angry message to them. They were all ‘Oh, did we something wrong? You claim these? We need fuel, can we make a deal?’”

Felbin shovels another hand full of roasted bugs into his mouth, munching happily.

“So they were in a weak position? And you did press your advantage?”

Between munching the wombat mumbles “Oh No. Their fleet was quite impressive. Two medium support carriers, around a dozen smaller escort ships, two dozen industrial ships. A lot more than we had at hand at that moment. We were quite surprised when they offered compensation for trespassing our territory and a pretty fair deal on keeping the resources. And they immediately entered trade talks with us.”

“Stop bullshitting me old usurer!” the reptilian growls “How in the world did you force the humans into submission? When we learned of the humans we send a slaver fleet to their world, numbering hundreds of mighty warships, demanding 0,2% of their population per year as tribute. A very fair deal as you will agree!”

The wombat did the equivalent of shrugging his shoulders “Well if you say so. How did it end?”

“It ended terrible for them! We killed millions of them by our penal operation when they rejected our generous offer!”

“Well, that is partially true but not the whole story.” Princess Shem, her large belly swollen by hundreds of eggs interrupts the discussion. Outranked, the Slaver Lord hissed in annoyance and fell silent.

“They fought your fleet back with monstrous weapons, vaporising your mighty flagship with a single one of their ungodly ‘Nukes’, even ships dozens of miles away had their outer hulls molten by this single attack. After less than an hour your fleet had scattered. The biggest damage your fleet did was raining debris on their world, killing a couple of million unprepared civilians.”

“How do you know…” the Slaver Lord gasps “Not a single Slaver made it back alive!”

The princess bows down her antennas in shame “Because my father, the rightful ruler of my people, is currently prisoner of war in the hands of the humans. He watched your foolish posturing on television in his prison cell and was allowed to report the incident back to his home world as a deterrent against future aggression.”

“Your people surrendered to the humans? How pitiful!” laughs the Slaver Lord.

“Surrendered? No, we were simply overrun. And we most likely only got off easy because the humans decided you were a bigger threat.”

The wombat looks at the princess in surprise “Oh, your people went at war with the humans too? But why?”

“Territorial dispute. They settled a barren world in a remote system, we had a claim on it for centuries. In return we annexed one of their border colonies, arrested their officials and put them on trial.”

Master Felbin put his empty bowl aside and reached for the wine. “Oh. I guess they send you an angry letter, did they?”

“The letter was lacking all rules of court.” boasted the princess with her antennae twitching angrily “It made demands were praise was required and disputed the obvious. It was literally an insult. Can you imagine? They demanded ‘a diplomatic talk’ and ‘compensation’.”

While grooming his fur Master Felbin dryly stated “Well, I know myself human diplomats and lawyers are a very special pest. The trade agreement we worked out with them is literally an epic in itself, surpassing absolutely any work of literature of my people in length and complexity. The chapter on the shape of bananas alone is over 1400 pages long. Thanks but no thanks."

Felbin licked some wine before continuing "So you found their diplomats lacking and tried if their warriors were more amicable and found them lacking too?”

The princess grumbles ashamed “We never met their warriors. They send a police assault unit and subdued our occupation force while we were hibernating…”

Slave Lord Abrax laughed aloud “Oh yes, we also found out the hard way that humans do not hibernate like most others do. In fact they only need a light sleep to recover and not much of it anyway. Also they can go for days without sleep. Freck. To keep up with them we needed to outnumber them 10 to one, taking turns in sleeping 18 hours and fighting one hour. And then they still manage to outdo us most of the time.”

Guild Master Felbin stopped licking at his expensive gobble of wine. “Aha, so you were pretty lucky when they offered you a somewhat fair peace deal?”

“Ending slavery was not a ‘somewhat fair peace deal’” Abrax railed “Our whole society was based on exploitation of the weak and now even high warriors have to clean their houses themselves and pay for mere services like food preparation. This is utterly unacceptable!”

“Oh dear, how pitiful you look.” Felbin giggled “And still both of you can be happy you survived your first contact with the humans almost intact.”

“Like there is any bigger disgrace than having ones father being prisoner of war.” Princess Shem grumbled.

“Or having to change your entire way of living.” Slaver Lord Abrax muttered.

“Yes, I think I am the lucky one of us three” smirked Felbin “although I have regular nightmares about human paper work recently. But trust me, compared to the devourers, we all got off easy.”

“The Devourers?” Abrax laughed “They are a myth. Parents tell their children about the Devourers when they don’t behave and need a good scare.” and with a mocking tone he continued “Head your parents words or the Devourers eat you!”

Even Princess Shem proclaimed with fervour: "As if nature would even allow such horrors! Beasts the size of a house, attacking entire worlds in apocalyptic numbers and devouring everything in their path."

“Oh, nonono. Devourers are not a myth.” the guild master explained “Yes, they haven’t swarmed in two centuries but my people still remember them from the old times when they crushed even the best defended worlds into dust during their reproduction cycle.”

Looking for something, Felbin continued “Actually, have you seen the Human Ambassador? Or, to be more precise, his young daughter?”

Shem turned her antennae towards the girl on the other side of the conference room: “She doesn't look anything special. For a human.”

“Nonono, also not the daughter. Her pet. The six legged creature sitting on her shoulder?”

Abrax and Shem looked puzzled at Guildmaster Felbin, then at the creature on the young girl's shoulder. The creature purred and played with the scraps of food the daughter offered to it.

“That is what is left of the devourers after the humans have tamed them.”

Found the first chapter of this on r/HFY and was entertained, saw it got posted offsite, thought I might share here. Warning for Wattpad.

Summary:

Humanity emerges from the aftermath of the technological singularity having conquered scarcity, disease, poverty, aging, death, and, or so they thought, even war. With the aid of artificial intelligence and uplifted animals they have founded a virtual Utopia among the stars where people work only for personal development, satisfaction, or selflessly for the benefit of others.

An attempt to help another space-faring species has unexpected consequences that threatens to engulf a whole region of space, and the Human Consensus is forced to intervene. When the small conflict grows into an existential threat to their entire civilization, humanity is forced for the first time to ask the question: can Utopia survive total war?