"PATIENT STATES ROLLED OVER IN BED ONTO AN ECSTASY PILL AND IT GOT STUCK IN EAR"

I hate when this happens

"STATES THAT EARLIER THIS AFTERNOON HE WAS 'TRYING TO BE FUNNY' AND SHOVED A PLASTIC BOTTLE UP HIS RECTUM"

Success! That was pretty funny

"I put a whole bag of jellybeans up my ass" rule

Remember always use flared stuff!

Thank you, I needed this.

fruit roll-up

that's one way to do the endless handkerchief clown trick

I think my favorite was “did the splits near a screwdriver”