As somebody who has worked in nuclear plants and dealt with contamination hazards, this is the most unsurprising and obvious non-news that I have ever seen. "CONTAMINATION HAZARD HAS CONTAMINATED A MAN THAT WAS MESSING WITH IT" like jesus christ.

"Does this smell radioactive to you?"

believe it or not, but there's radiation in other parts of the plant as well

Classic Horshack:

Up your nose with a Uranium Rod!

He was supposed to "look after it" and not "eat it out".