Spyke

The man brought home kebabs today and when the dude behind the counter called out "Muhammed" about 4 blokes answered.

Cheers little elves 🍺

15
aussie.zone

Did my semi compulsory 30mins attendance at my company Christmas party tonight. Had a cry on the drive home because I'd like to be able to stay and have a nice time and a few drinks but I just get too stressed out by the idea of the whole thing leave 🙃

13
aussie.zone

Reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.

However, I am very overheated and tired. I am glad I've had a decent break from the phone, between ferrying people around for 3 hrs each way in 38C heat, clearing overgrowth on steep terrain, cutting and spraying evil prickly thistle in full sun, and random fever dreams in hot wooden cabins with no electricity or reception.

13
aussie.zone

Today is fuckoff friday.

2 things for me.

  1. Just got told by my aunt (bit of a matriarch) what to do for befores for xmas at cousins' place. Salami, cheese, crackers dips usual spread fare. Fuck off I'm doing gyoza and dumplings.

  2. Just got told by the old man that the rest of the watering system I've been building for them he doesn't want to do because he's going to redo the fence in march next yr. It's 85% of the way there. It's just another 50m of drip line on top.

Every summer he calls up me and bro frantically trying to get us to go over and water. the whole point of the system is that the p's can go away for 2 months over summer and stress less (without having to drive back every 2nd day). But if the rest isn't done, then they'll still be stressing even though 85% is already in.

That can fuck off too.

11

Twas the fortnight before Christmas

And all through the town

Roadworks and roadworks and roadworks abound

In the city, the burbs, and on country laneways

The hi vis and stop gos are controlling the lanes

I’m normally cool and I know it’s required

But it’s Fuck off Friday, and my patience is tired

6
aussie.zone

So, I don't know whether it's Taylor Swift who is super smart, or she surrounds herself with smart people. I guess that still makes her smart. Lots of people want her concert video for Christmas. Only they can't have it. You can rent it for $25. That'll give you the show for 48 hours.

Then in January, she is releasing the concert on Blu Ray.

So here we are, contemplating giving a damn video rental code as Christmas Presents. But she still gets that Blu Ray money as well, because of course all those fans are going to buy it when it comes out. This is on top the 🇺🇸 $250Million she's already made in cinema ticket sales that she isn't sharing with Hollywood studios because she produced the show herself.

Honestly, I'm impressed. I can't fault her logic at all. Millions of people are going to spend most of $100 (cinema, rental and then blu ray) and not even get real tickets to her live.

10

Yo CEO, I'm really happy for you, Imma let you finish but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time!

I think Taytay is doing just fine with or without my money.

4

I seeee! I wondered why there were so many versions of her video on piracy websites 😂

The more money you try to milk from people, the more they'll steal your product lol

3

Received my first Christmas gift this year. A slab of Crown lager. Perfect for offering to houseguests lol.

9
aussie.zone

Hi Angel tell your brother Angle and his mate Jack hammer to fuck off. They've been going for hours now.

3

Listen Bill, I drove passed really slowly and gave them the evil eye. That should solve the problem.

2
aussie.zone

Controversial opinion but the sun has no business being so bright at 7am. Who is that for? Madness. Someone should write a letter.

Or maybe I should just look into a way to block light better in my bedroom.

9
Nathreply
aussie.zone

It could be worse: No Daylight savings here, so the sun as been up since 5am, It's been light since about 4:30.

4

I remember being in QLD one time in last spring, now that's an early sunrise. Not for me.

3
aussie.zone

I have had my senses of taste and smell stolen from me, just in time for Christmas. I have booked an expensive lunch for Christmas day and need to decide today to cancel if I want a refund.

8
aussie.zone

I'd be devastated if I couldn't properly taste my Christmas dinner that I've paid for.

5
aussie.zone

This is what I'd do. Cancel the dinner. Then I'd go and buy the aldi frozen Australian prawns for $30 and pop them in the freezer and if my taste buds come back by then I'd still get a nice dinner. If not they're still there until I do. Oh and I'd also get a Christmas pudding.

5
aussie.zone

I am making banoffee pie for friend Xmas tomorrow. I’m very excited to eat it. Cream whipped, caramel is on the stove, then it’s just an assemble job. Hopefully it’s a hit.

8

Unless you used, I dunno... pig cream... it's definitely gonna be a hit. Any complainers can bring their share over to my place.

5

I brought some doughnuts. Help yo self.

🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩

8
aussie.zone

And ants came marching one by one. Hurrah. This seems to be the weather where every bug wants to be inside

8
Seagoon_reply
aussie.zone

There's a small spider sitting on a picture frame . He can stay.

6
aussie.zone

Moisture - they're after water. Smeggy's trick with half/half icing sugar and borax works well.

4

I've got a bait sitting out but maybe it's old by now. I went for the Ant Rid.

Has anyone seen Smeg?

1
aussie.zone

I spent the last day at work today pulling apart Lego and chatting with coworkers all day.

Many of my co workers at lunch today trying to convince me that I should make the effort to spend Christmas with family and as much as I’m resisting but I know they mean well and do they it out of love.

I’m glad work ended on a chilled note today instead of being all hands on deck dealing with last minute dumplings of things. Meant I could do things at my own pace and not be stressed before going on leave till next year.

Now I have a homemade coffee. Yay!

8
Seagoon_reply
aussie.zone

yay, hugs, may you have a joyous and restful break 🤗

3

Thank you so much!

Test cricket is on at the moment and I’m doing stuff in the background.

Perfect way to have the day turn out.

Movie later if there’s nothing to watch as well!

3

I know I'm late for Hot Take Thursday, but: prawns don't have much flavour and they're too much work to bother with. Genuinely wouldn't be bothered if I never ate one again.

Gimme all the oysters instead.

7

Prawns straight from the boat are very very different to what you describe. I used to walk to Scarborough jetty (out of Brisbane) with my grandparents in the 80s, buy a couple of kilo from a boat that'd just come in, walk home, spend 15-30 mins deshelling, then prawn and salad cream (yes, it was a British thing) sandwiches for ever.

5

Gasp The thing is we get frozen prawns down here and by the time they defrost most of the juices have leaked out. Do yourself a favour and get these prawns from here. They are full of flavour despite the fact that they are frozen.

The reason why our oysters taste good is because they come from Tassie. Much fresher because they don't have to travel far.

If I had to choose I'd go oysters too.

4

You had me in the first part..... but the snotty oysters are all yours too 🤮

3
aussie.zone

Holy shit Potato Gratin for prime minister. Every frozen thing I've tried from Aldi (I admit that isn't many things) has been severely underwhelming but these thickened cream & cheese potato gratin things are actually incredible. Like little personal potato bakes.

7
aussie.zone

I initally thought you were getting in some early campaigning for Dutton.

7
aussie.zone

That is a sharp observation. Everyone is saying he is Voldemorts love child, but you could be right. Maybe it’s potato.

3
Baconreply
aussie.zone

one of us, one of us

try the spinach and ricotta one too
the mushroom one is also very good

4

Thats me most years. This one I saw an opportunity and took it!

1

4 hours + next week. The kids are already on holidays. 😔

2
aussie.zone

Anybody else have this irrational fear when flying that one of the engines / wings is just gonna fall off?

6

One of the engines not so much because I know planes are designed to handle losing an engine. Thinking about a wing falling off? Yeah, especially if I'm sat over a wing by a window I'll just look at it wobbling and think "what if this is the number of wobbles it takes to come off?", especially on long OS flights over the ocean.. but I try to distract myself from thinking about it for too long.

4
Baconreply
aussie.zone

i have an irrational fear that someone would open the door

2

You'd need to be Superman to do it. There's a lot more air per cubic meter inside the cabin than outside. And the doors open inward initially.

So, you'd need to be strong enough to squeeze all the air inside the cabin and single-handedly increase the cabin pressure in order to open the door.

2
Seagoon_reply
aussie.zone

I'm pretty nervous then too. Oddly, turbulence doesn't worry me at all, it's just sailing on air waves in the sky, like sailing in a boat on the sea.

2
aussie.zone

How come the lyrics on Spotify are synced on my phone but yet when mirrored onto the telly they are not? It makes karaoke hard because I gotta make my own words up. Lucky I know all the words to Tubthumping. I should send an email.

*mirrored may not be the correct terminology.

6
Duenanreply
aussie.zone

Mirrored by what method?

Its probably latency from the mirroring if I had to guess.

2
aussie.zone

Not mirrored. Wrong terminology but I think I may have accidentally worked it out. 👍 More experiments need to be obtained.

2

Oh ok. There’s also odd instances if you’re hooking through a sound system there the audio and the video could be out of sync as welll.

2

Pakige arrived! My rolls of stain ribbon are here, ready to start their new lives in the horticultural industry, where they will be serving as drawstrings in my fruit protection bags (or does that make them part of the security industry?)

6
aussie.zone

I'm just reading through Pornhub's 2023 Year in Review (I probably shouldn't link to PH here, but you can find it) and it's actually fascinating data.. and they have a lot of it!

Spoiler: Australia's PH viewing drops 17.2% on Australia Day. I think that says a lot about people getting together with friends and family rather than spending the day alone and it's actually quite nice. Also Australia loves lesbians.

6
Baconreply
aussie.zone

we are the top 13th country! between poland and ukraine.

3
TinyBreakreply
aussie.zone

does anyone still use PH? their search has been broken for years.

2

I do but I mostly just go to a couple of accounts so I don't really use the search function much

2
bull⚡reply
aussie.zone

This is going to sound like a lie but I actually have no idea. I very very rarely visit these sites. I only got to this year in review from a reddit post about it on interestingasfuck

2
TinyBreakreply
aussie.zone

Nah doesn't sound like a lie to me. Pretty sure most of my mates don't use traditional sites for it these days. I certainly dont. Reddit, Twitter, BDSMLR, NewTumbl (RIP) all cater to more specific tastes.

1
bull⚡reply
aussie.zone

I don't know about all that. My evenings and my heart are full enough with the spoken words of our Lord in the Holy Bible.

6

The hot air balloons were so close, just 200 metres away and loomed so large. On camera they look like tiny dots.

5
aussie.zone

Has anyone used any of the UV bug zappers from Bunnings? Apparently they get flies and some claim to do mozzies as well (thinking ahead)

Edit: Hopefully the legion of flies drops down to a dull roar soon so I got a cheap little attractant trap for those, and a $30-40 mozzie zapper that had slightly better reviews. A few packs of moth traps because why not.

::: spoiler Spiders

Hopefully avoiding sprays will also let the spiderbros do their part.

The annoying part is we did have a huntsman here a year or so ago but he was a little bit dumb. Instead of chilling in the upper corners he kept coming down the walls and crawling across the floor, so Melbcat had a few goes. He eventually had to be escorted outside for his own safety. :::

5
aussie.zone

I got given that one that comes up all the time on Instagram recently. Seems to work pretty well

3
dumblederpreply
aussie.zone

IIRC mozzies are attracted to exhaled carbon dioxide so these zappers might not be ideal for them, but i'd go by peoples claims here. fuck mozzies, I'm not Buddhist for mozzies.

2
aussie.zone

Yeah, something like that. I'm looking at the cheaper options but they have bad reviews. There are also cheap traps.

I considered getting a Venus fly trap or a pitcher plant. But those are sold in spring and they always go mouldy for me when they go dormant over winter.

3
aussie.zone

Yeah they work. This one came from Aldi but bunnings would have something similar. Flies, mozzies, moths all get caught in it but it's not instantaneous. Insects don't automatically go "oh pretty light. Buzz". It takes awhile because they're stupid but it's a very satisfying sound when they do notice it.

2
aussie.zone

stares longingly

Pakige

 

::: spoiler Boring and gross cleaning stuff

 

The ants are gone but there were yet more flies... another round of swatting and disinfectant and a quick vacuum of the main area. I don't want flies touching my cat's bowls or things in the kitchen.

The air is smelling ok now. Maybe having those little wooden possum nests around would keep possums from entering the walls but unfortunately I don't have anywhere to put one and I think the possums that get into walls go there intentionally to pass. And this unit seems poorly sealed. If I could safely get up there I'd seal the place up.

The blankets that went to the cattery are mostly clean now but there's still a faint odour. They really just let Melbcat hide soiling in her carrier the whole time, with the pooled stains drying into the cloths and her wetting over it again... Neglect. Regret allowing her to stay there. I'm surprised because the reviews were really good?!

The cloth parts of the carrier itself are still soaking in biological cleaner but perhaps it would be best to buy a new pet pram. And locate or make a boxy waterproof liner to sit inside as a normal puppy pad just gets pulled up.

Also Melbcat loves the Sherpa fleece blankets but they're so delicate, matting and clumping quickly when washed. From now on things need to be more practical. The fluffy things will have to be minky fleece which washes better, and the carrier cloths will have to be white towels which can stand up to heavy repeated washing and even bleaching.

I've also noticed dust flying when I vacuum. The cheap light stick is much easier for me to use but next time I buy one it will have to have a decent filter.

All in all the house is fairly clean but I do need to declutter, and after removing the flies, disinfect the kitchen. 🤢

 

:::

5
aussie.zone

What about velour? It's lightweight, fluffy, easy to wash. You could probably pick some dressing gowns up from op shops.

3
aussie.zone

That's a good idea. I've been using blankets because they're smaller and fold down more compact

2
aussie.zone

You can also get these bath mats. I have similar ones from Ikea that I've had for years. They're like microfibre. Soft, hold a shitload of moisture, easy to wash, dry ultra quick, have no backing, lightweight. I wash them on 60°c once a week and they're still intact 7 years later.

3

Day's tasks have gone well. Hair done, mani pedi done, lots of tidying and cleaning done. Watched a foreign language movie. 👍

5
Duenanreply
aussie.zone

Indeedy, was so close when the ball came off the glove from Starc’s ball.

On to tomorrow!

2

Whinge warning..

Ugh. Toothache. I think it's going to have to come out. I'd like to have all my teeth ripped out and replaced. I haven't had nice looking unproblematic teeth since I was in primary school.

Speaking of school, I had to order Elder Minipeeler's books for next year by today, and they must be paid for in advance, no option for payment plans or anything. I've managed to get some pre-owned ones but you still need to purchase a reorder code for access to the digital component at a cost of $25 a pop. Even though I spent some time sourcing the stationary from elsewhere at a substantial saving, I was still up for half a grand. This time of year! I feel pretty Grinchy ATM.

Still, elder's primary school graduation was last night and was genuinely entertaining.

5

Sympathies for the toothache. My partner and I see the same dentist, use the same brand of toothpaste, eat mostly the same food, and I’ve got a mouth full of fillings and he hardly ever has an issue. Not fair. I dunno if it’s just unlucky genes or differences in diet growing up but it sucks when even as an adult doing all the right things some of us just have to suffer with our teeth.

3
aussie.zone

I was looking at the lighter and wondering how that is a Christmas decoration? I then realised it’s for lighting the Yule log to celebrate Jesus and his triumph over sin. Obviously.

2
aussie.zone

I just emulated Mark Knopfler (old honey voice) on the mic pretending it's a Cornetto whilst singing Tunnel Of Love. Watch some live concerts and you'll see how intermate he gets with the mic.

4
aussie.zone

I've started stressing out a lot about art now that I'm trying to learn it 'properly'. I am picking up basic rules that were never bothered with before I guess, but really having to force myself and feeling a lot of self pressure and even anxiety. Cmon brain! Stop blocking me! This is what I'm currently able to do (kind of) but it's becoming yet another stressor.

Also while using a cheap manga book broke through the intimidation with baby steps and provided some learning structure it feels like being forced to play Hot Cross Buns on the recorder. It is not the style I ultimately want to pursue. The idea was to learn generic skills and burn through cheap supplies/train my hands on things I cared less about ruining in the awkward stage.

I think I'm just going to cut to the figure drawing which is a more widely applicable skill and once that's close enough start looking about how to do gesture drawing and studies. One day it would be really cool to make my own compositions and smoothly combine different elements using the references just to nail the details.

Edit: Lol those brushtail possums outside move like elephants. Jeez they're huge

4

Anyone a RRR subscriber? Any got any further info on why Tony Biggs was suspended for two weeks?

3
aussie.zone

Breakfast 🍏🍎🍐🍊🍋🍈🫐🍓🍇🍉🍌🍒🍑🥭🍍🥥🥦🥑🫛🍆🍅🥝🥬🥒🌽🥕🥐🍠🫚🥔🧅🥯🍞🥖🥨🧀🧇🥞🧈🍳🥚🥓🥩🍗🍖🫓🍕🍟🍔🌭🥙🧆🌮🌯🥗🍲🍜🍝🥘🍛🍣🍱🥟🦪🍥🍘🍚🍙🐠🍤🪼🦀🐙 🍗🥮🍢🍡🍧🍰🧁🥧🍦🍨🎂🍮🍭🍬🍫🥜🌰🍪🍿🍯🥛☕️🍵🍺🍶🥤🧋🧃🥂🍷🥃🍸🍹🧉🔋

3
aussie.zone

I was just looking at a picture of Australia and it's crazy how little of this country I've seen in my 40.5 years. I did a rough highlight of where I've been, and I mean rough because I have been very generous with how thick some of the lines are considering I just took 1 highway in some cases and I've highlighted a whole chunk where I've sort of criss-crossed on various highways and destinations. It's not like I've been through every inch of where I've highlighted.

UPDATE: I have made it a little more accurate, going from Google's data. It looks a bit off but I think it's because this image is skewed by Google Earth's globeness.

If I look at where Google has seen me (so this would be from 2013 onwards when I moved from iPhone to Android), I can see it thinks I haven't seen a bunch of western Victoria but that must have been pre-Android when I drove out there, or maybe I haven't seen as much of it as I thought:

3
bull⚡reply
aussie.zone

I did say that I'd like to give that a go once I got a new car! I'm just not sure I want to (or should) do it solo.

3

I did it solo driving to Melbourne. It's fine. Biggest takeaway for me was that Australia is big. I know, we all know that. But it's one thing to leave Perth at 6pm on Monday evening and still be in WA on Wednesday - driving pretty much non-stop. Then South Australia is also huge! Experiencing it really drives the size home.

The drive went something like:
Monday 6pm: Perth - Merredin.
Tuesday 8am: Wake up and leave Merredin. Stop for an hour in Noresman. Finish for the evening in Cocklebiddy.
Wednesday 9am: Leave Cocklebiddy, Spend a bit of time exploring Eucla ruins/border village. Cross the border, check out Bite cliffs. Stop in the evening at Ceduna.
Thursday: Drive to Streaky Bay for lunch - lovely town, want to get back there, but it's really hard to get to. Drive across the middle of SA, skip Radelaide. Stop late at night at a rest stop 30 minutes before Renmark.
Friday: Drive into Victoria, get to Bendigo around 5pm. Dinner and stay the night at a friend's place there.
Saturday: Drive to Melbourne, arrive on time for lunch.

It's honestly fine to do this solo (or the other direction). Just have something (Podcasts? Audiobooks?) loaded to listen to. There is nothing between Noresman and Ceduna. Those little towns you see on the map are just servos. But for all of that, there's a fair bit of traffic (at least a truck/car every 5 minutes). If you have a real emergency, help won't be far away.

3

Yea.. I have fam in rural WA. When it was brought up my gramps once said (in a thick scottish accent) "aye laddy funny things that way, you want to bring yerrr 22 (rifle)".

Didn't exactly inspire confidence.

3
aussie.zone

How do you get that Google map data from maps?

Edit. Actually, I found it very quickly

2

I've just looked at my 2022 and 2023 timelines. It's depressing: but I have not been further than 100km from the city. In fact, the last time I was more than 100km from the city was the first week of 2021 (Christmas break). Nearly three years ago.

I need to get out of town this holidays.

1
aussie.zone

Here’s a nice little playlist. You can guess the theme

  1. Jailhouse Rock – Elvis Presley
  2. Folsom Prison Blues- Johnny Cash
  3. Mack the Knife – Bobby Darrin (writen by Kurt Weill and Bertolt Brecht)
  4. Bad Boys – Inner Circle (Theme from COPS)
  5. I Shot the Sheriff – Eric Clapton
  6. Smooth Criminal – Michael Jackson
  7. Hurricane – Bob Dylan (Rubin “Hurricane” Carter)
  8. Bohemian Rhapsody – Queen
  9. Jenny Was A Friend of Mine – The Killers
  10. Hey Joe – Jimi Hendrix
  11. Take the Money and Run – Steve Miller Band
  12. Stagger Lee – Lloyd Price
  13. Breakin’ The Law – Judas Priest
  14. Strange Fruit – Billy Holliday
  15. I Don’t Like Mondays – Boomtown Rats (Brenda Ann Spencer)
  16. Midnight Rambler – The Rolling Stones
  17. Chain Gang – Sam Cooke
  18. One Piece at a Time – Johnny Cash
  19. Bang Bang – Cher
  20. Sunny Came Home – Shawn Colvin
  21. Criminal – Fiona Apple
  22. Dead Or Alive – Bon Jovi
  23. Deep Red Bells – Neko Case
  24. Informer – Snow
  25. Pumped Up Kicks – Foster The People
  26. Renegade – Styx
  27. No Rest For The Wicked – Cage The Elephant
  28. Tom Dooley – The Kingston Trio
  29. Helter Skelter – The Beatles
  30. Maxwell’s Silver Hammer – The Beatles
  31. Goodbye Earl – The Dixie Chicks
  32. I Fought The Law – The Bobby Fuller Four
  33. Delilah – Tom Jones
  34. Don’t Take Me Alive – Steely Dan
  35. Watching the Detectives – Elvis Costello
  36. Twilight Zone – Golden Earring
  37. House of the Rising Sun – The Animals
  38. Been Caught Stealing – Jane’s Addiction
  39. Criminal – Britney Spears
  40. Who Stole the Cookie From the Cookie Jar? – various
  41. Runaway Train – Soul Asylum
  42. Psycho Killer – The Talking Heads
  43. The Night The Lights Went Out in Georgia – Vikki Lawrence
  44. Excitable Boy – Warren Zevon
  45. Smuggler’s Blues – Glenn Frey
  46. Gangsta’s Paradise – Coolio
  47. Desperado – The Eagles
  48. Gypsies Tramps and Thieves – Cher
  49. Straight Outta Compton – N.W.A.
4
aussie.zone

That is a ripper list. We play about 95% of those on the regular. Sincerely thank you.

The theme is crime time.

3

It was recently the 40th anniversary of Thriller album. Maybe a track from there. Can’t go past Billie Jean.

3
Duenanreply
aussie.zone

Got to have Fame by Irene Cara.

I love that song.

2