my wife yelling at me about the shoes all over the floor by the back door and then her suddenly stopping mid-WORD as she realizes that all the shoes are hers might be the single greatest moment in my life thus far
Men have one pair of shoes (and underwear) they wear until they turn to dust (at least most of us). That should have been a clue right there they couldn't be your shoes. But I'm a bachelor, so I haven't any idea what my floor actually looks like (it's covered in other kinds of soiled clothing most of the time....)
I think perhaps he meant that, as part of the collection, there is a pair of each that you just can't part with. I have a pair of shoes that probably could go (in fact, I have a much cleaner, less used pair of the same shoe), but it's good to have them for rainy days, going to a concert, etc.
The underwear, as I've grown, if it's got holes and stringies, it's going. Maybe when I was younger.
You know, I can't think of anybody that might deserve it. Makes me think of that duck's in heaven joke.
Three guys die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on the ducks!" So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first guy accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman he has ever seen. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to the ugly woman!"
The next day, the second guy steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extemely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first guy.
The third guy has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful where he steps. He manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to him with the most gorgeous woman he has ever laid eyes on: a very tall, tan, curvaceous, sexy blonde. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The guy remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" She says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"
Can confirm.... One pair of shoes all my life, then I decided to buy two more pairs so I can actually color match my outfit when going out. What has happened to me....
That's very true. Personally I hate clothes shopping. I probably by one pair of pants in a decade, if even that. I wear my clothes 'til they fall apart. My shoes are grossly out of date and the heels are worn out, but I just can't stand the idea of shoe shopping. Clothes tend to be the last thing I ever spend money on.
It's such a satisfying victory (that cannot be celebrated or even brought up again)
The only correct way to bring it up, is to hand make your wife a beautiful shoe storage rack.
This guy husbands
It's just for you and a nice gaze at the horizon. Perhaps with a morning coffee
That's when you give her a knowing gaze and say mmhm... and then walk away and avoid her until she stops wanting to murder you.
oh, the moment she realized you were wearing her shoes
Image Transcription: Twitter Post
no more, no less, @42_words
my wife yelling at me about the shoes all over the floor by the back door and then her suddenly stopping mid-WORD as she realizes that all the shoes are hers might be the single greatest moment in my life thus far
didn't notice the name until seeing this, that is indeed 42 words.
Now someone post the follow up where she twists it to make it his fault anyways
If I didn't have to do X then I'd have time to put my shoes away (while sitting on the couch doomscrolling insta)
Did you count the words?
I did. If "mid-WORD" counts as one word, we're good.
"mid-WORD" is two words, but one WORD.
one word all lowercase FOURWORDSALLUPPERCASE
Indeed. Depends on if you are going by English word or word-processor word count.
Edit: Well I guess mid is more a prefix then a word. This is a conundrum indeed.
ChatGPT says it's 33 words, so...
LibreOffice Writer says it's 42 words, so...
I asked ChatGPT to split it into lines, count each line's words, and add them up, and it gave me 48, so...
chatgpt literally can't count
My wife would have finished the phrase and I would give her the "you don't really expect me to do that" look
I would upvote, but there’s 222 and I’d like to keep it that way.
It's now 338 if you'd like to drop your vote in. Rattles karma tin
Done.
Ah yes, the internet, where you get downvoted for voicing that you enjoyed seeing a minor pretty happenstance
Once got the 9999 -> 10k voted on Reddit. Super satisfying and gif'd and commented it in the same post. Predictably got nuked
Men have one pair of shoes (and underwear) they wear until they turn to dust (at least most of us). That should have been a clue right there they couldn't be your shoes. But I'm a bachelor, so I haven't any idea what my floor actually looks like (it's covered in other kinds of soiled clothing most of the time....)
One pair of underwear???? Bro get some help
The shoes I get and I'll wear jeans excessively long without a wash but damn dude change the underwear.
I think perhaps he meant that, as part of the collection, there is a pair of each that you just can't part with. I have a pair of shoes that probably could go (in fact, I have a much cleaner, less used pair of the same shoe), but it's good to have them for rainy days, going to a concert, etc.
The underwear, as I've grown, if it's got holes and stringies, it's going. Maybe when I was younger.
His screen name lol.
But seriously yeah. The guy needs help. Maybe a wife.
Having a few more changes of underwear is a good start to getting a wife
Who would you sentence to marrying someone who chooses to only have one pair of underwear
You know, I can't think of anybody that might deserve it. Makes me think of that duck's in heaven joke.
Three guys die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on the ducks!" So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first guy accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman he has ever seen. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to the ugly woman!"
The next day, the second guy steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extemely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first guy.
The third guy has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful where he steps. He manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to him with the most gorgeous woman he has ever laid eyes on: a very tall, tan, curvaceous, sexy blonde. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The guy remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" She says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"
I think the single pair of underwear contributes to the bachelor status, or at the very least they probably share a root cause
I don't know about the rest of you but I'm happy dudes wearing underwear to begin with...
I'm gonna be honest, I would prefer no underwear over the same pair 24/7. Unless homie is washing this shit every day, that gets gross fast.
Guys will have one pair of shoes until they find a partner who will buy them more shoes for different occasions
I have 2. The black boots and the brown boots
Can confirm.... One pair of shoes all my life, then I decided to buy two more pairs so I can actually color match my outfit when going out. What has happened to me....
That's very true. Personally I hate clothes shopping. I probably by one pair of pants in a decade, if even that. I wear my clothes 'til they fall apart. My shoes are grossly out of date and the heels are worn out, but I just can't stand the idea of shoe shopping. Clothes tend to be the last thing I ever spend money on.