Spyke
aussie.zone

So we have Hot Take Thursday. Fuckoff Friday and now introducing and taking submissions for Sasspants Saturday.

I'll go first.

The other night, did a bunch of gyoza as all the fam were together (4 plus bro's new wife). no biggie easy stuff. There's a custom here that we all say 'hey thanks that was nice' even if it wasn't. That didn't happen.

Anyway they're addicticted to their phones which I find rude in a social setting. You're mid convo and they'll just whip it out and browse random shit (so not responding to anything).

Anyway bro's wife eats the last gyoza and the person who does that in my rulebook always should ask 'anyone want that'? doesn't, then heads to the couch to browse whatever shit that was on her phone instead of conversing.

So my parting comment when they were leaving was 'well I'm glad you found the gyoza interesting'.

That is my saturday sasspant.

12
bull⚡reply
aussie.zone

I think I have one. I just went out for a walk around Docklands and when I'd had enough walking, I spotted a rental scooter which had been clearly stashed off the main paths on some dirt between the outdoor public basketball courts and outdoor gym equipment. There was a group of young guys hanging around chatting on the gym equipment and as I approached the scooter one of them was looking at me with the eyes of someone who very clearly was calling "dibs" on the scooter but that just isn't how this works. Then they all turned to look at me like I was stealing something. I had my headphones on and I don't give a fuuuuuck so I just kept their eye contact, scanned the scooter and rode off. I think that might be sasspant.

7

When I googled sasspant it gave me a heap of clothing options. It also gave me sassy pant which is not what your talking about. Umph.

Your fam are rude. I don't allow electronics at my table nor do I do it at anyone else's. I'd appreciate your gyozas.

7

Party time. By which I mean I'm dusting off the dvd player and the Colin Firth version of Pride and Prejudice, and I'm snuggling in with a blanket and a cat.

10

My favourite adaptation of P&P. I love how deeply they delve into the story, much more so than the 2005 movie.

2
aussie.zone

Great news everyone, Jeff Bezos ex wife just emailed to say my email address has been randomly chosen and that she wants to give me 1.5 million US dollars! Woo Hoo, I'm rich!

9
aussie.zone

It's not really clear. There is an attachment and a few links, I guess I just click on all those

3

can you ask her if she can also get me a hitchhiking place on one of Kuiper's Falcon 9 flights?

1
aussie.zone

First expedition to the can return machine. Got enough back to almost pay for a big sack of cat litter. Impressed with the speed of the thing!

9
Taleyareply
aussie.zone

Lucky, three times i've tried so far. Full, full, out of commission.

Really wish the frigging app told you that

5
Catfishreply
aussie.zone

I’m not keen on giving information, so chose the voucher option. It just prints a barcode you can scan.at Coles (and probably other places)

6
Catfishreply
aussie.zone

Oh it’s on thermal paper, so I wouldn’t advise saving them up to try to pay for a whole shop. If they fade getting hot in the glovebox or something you’ll lose the lot.

6
aussie.zone

Ooh lucky, wish I had one of those local to me. Mine's an over the counter at a local shop; which is ok because they give you cash but they don't like the larger bottles, only the smaller ones and cans etc. I suppose they've got to put them somewhere out back.

3

My literalclosest is an over the counter but I’m not going there! Machines of no shame thanks.

3

Finished the skirt on my new xmas outfit. Now the top and the jacket still to do. Happy with the result, especially as the botch up of the pleats at the back won't be seen under the jacket (I hope). Everything else has worked out just fine. This is my first attempt in many years at pattern drafting.

9
aussie.zone

I've forgotten what it feels like to be offered help. Since moving to my new place (and breaking my hand), people have offered to make me food, move a bed etc etc which I never got at my previous places 😭 (3 years in Australia!!)

And I'm not generally good at accepting help because I don't want to burden others. For ex my housemates bf asked me to join him for badminton and I told him I sadly couldn't...and then he offered to help with anything! Jeez the bar is so low for me when it comes to people.

8

I have unfortunately learnt to always decline no matter the circumstance, because the ONE time I accepted, and despite insisting I pay them some money which was declined, I was accused of taking advantage of them.

Never again.

3

Pro tip: These are some of my Xmas tree lights rolled into what’s called a speed-ball. A Vietnam war veteran taught me this method. They used to roll the wiring for claymore mines like this to expedite a hasty ambush.

It’s hard to explain but you loosely wrap the entire wire around the end you want to come out first and just leave the end hanging out of the ball. It pulls out perfectly every single time with no hang ups or knots.

It’s a bit counterintuitive but it works without fail every time.

8
aussie.zone

What I do is use a paper towel tube. Sticky tape one end of the lights to the tube, wrap lights around the tube making sure not to overlap. Get to the end and cut a slit in the tube and hook the end in.

6
aussie.zone

How could it be 16° today, 20° tomorrow and 30° on Monday? Like there's not much foreplay just straight into the good stuff. Then it's over by Wednesday.

8
Taleyareply
aussie.zone

Pretty standard for melbs, it just tends to have seasons show up overnight.

4
aussie.zone

Yeah maybe. I just don't recall it going from days and days of rain to two days later 30.

2
bull⚡reply
aussie.zone

Getting a very American Gods (the TV adaptation) vibe from it

7

Thanks mate.

MissGod came out of her room for my reveal and she goes “Wow, that fucks!”

I’m just like..🫠🥴🫡

6

We had a discussion about that and were both open to the idea of inverted cross but the power lead comes out the bottom and settled on this orientation.

4
aussie.zone

I have always had bad attention span and as a result I could never get into reading. You put me in front of a tv, I'll watch it for hours but I really struggle to read books and I want to now make it a habit to read a bit everyday. What's a good target to set? How do I stick to it?

7

You already got the answer. Read a little bit every day. Noodle about your library, look for books that interest you. If you're part way through a book and not liking it, dump it! And don't think you have to highbrow. Go for YA books, clive cussler, movie adaptations or trashy fabio novels if you want and fuck the haters, this should be a joy, not a chore.

6
aussie.zone

Borrow library books, you'll feel pressured to finish them before they're due (unless you're me ...)

4
aussie.zone

I would strongly recommend getting an e-reader. My reading really increased after I got one. They're really light, easier to read whilst lying on your side, have their own light which is not blue-light. Kobo's are great as they have library books available, kindles are good because you can email EPUBs to yourself.

4

I’m the total opposite. Anything e-ruins my concentration span. And they don’t smell right. Paper all the way.

4
aussie.zone

Have you tried audio books? They can be easier to pop on while you’re doing dishes or folding washing or driving.

3

I haven't but I imagine it isn't too dissimilar to podcasts. I often find myself zoning out with podcasts and I really need to focus and listen. idk why I keep zoning out though

2
Catfishreply
aussie.zone

Have you any idea what you do like to read? Something fairly light mood and with a chapter structure might suit. Built in break points. Have you seen Miss Fisher on TV? Either of Kerry’s detective series could work if you liked that.

2
aussie.zone

I have a few books. Mostly non fictional. Something related to my work. So I'm currently reading "How the world really works - Vaclav Smil". I have a couple other books that I bought on a whim after listening to an inspiring talk by him.

Also a couple of fiction books that I want to read. One is Silo by Hugh Howey. Its an apple tv show and I loved the show so I bought the book!

You see where the problem is. I buy books but don't read them. 🤦‍♂️

4

Ah! Then I suggest building yourself a specific reading spot. A cosy chair/beanbag/mini tent, add a ritual of a pot of tea/mixed drink and settle in 😺

4

Jaysus! A car going through the roundabout at my street corner has just knocked my neighbour's ancient bmw into the tree on my nature strip. Police on their way. Hard to tell if anyone's hurt - so much yelling.
EDIT: looks like no one's hurt.
Looks like I won't be mowing the nature strip this weekend.

7

Yeah sorry about that, I lost control but I'm a drunk cop so you're not allowed to release my identity for 40 years 😎❤️

7

I tried to get cash out with a purchase at woollies for the first time with a new card - debit Mastercard. It failed 3 times, I tried credit and savings- no go. I gave up and just tapped for the grocery purchase and left.

Called the bank to ask wtf and apparently I’m supposed to select “cheque”. Wtf, it’s not a cheque account and I have no cheque book.

7
aussie.zone

I just scored a great plant pot off someone's hard rubbish, and it came with a free arm workout. 💪 It started off feeling pretty light, but I swear that thing got heavier as I walked.

7
dumblederpreply
aussie.zone

omg carrying my hard rubbish prize home yesterday was a nightmare, it even had handles for easy carrying. What type of plant?

3

No plant, just the pot. It's a tall, ceramic rectangular planter. It did not help that the lip of the pot was rough, so it was hard finding somewhere to grip it without rough edges digging in. It would have been fairly easy if I could have used both hands, but walking the dog and only having one hand free made it a bit tricky.

3

It did have a bit of rain in it, but as there was a big hole in the bottom of the pot the risk from the rain was more about making sure the water escaping from the hole did not run down my leg.

4
aussie.zone

I should be taking this opportunity to do the tasks that are more difficult with kitty around but am still really not feeling good physically or mentally. Sitting around pressuring myself about a hobby that should be fun, putting myself through the wringer in the hope that doing it will help me cope with the rest of life. Because in my current state this hobby is the most do-able.

I'm feeling guilty about Melbcat. It feels like my bad health is letting her down and despite all my efforts I'm just having to wait for answers or help while watching it deteriorate.

7

Sometimes simply resting is all we can manage, and that's ok. Try to give yourself a bit of grace- always hard!

6
Seagoon_reply
aussie.zone

so many hugs

so do things about your hobby that are easier. Like watching all kinds of art youtubes, watch everything to do with your hobby. Go to an op shop and buy every book on art you can and browse them.

I admit I'm really pleased I watched many many many hours of videos on the art, it gave me a depth of knowledge and I learnt many tips. It was definitely not a waste.

3
aussie.zone

I've been looking at and saving many references and art tutorials, that is a low energy way to do it and is training my eyes to notice details. But it's making my eyes much better than my hands, so it's easier to see flaws in my inexperienced techniques.

That's apparently a thing. Your work can suddenly look worse to you as your eye improves :/

4
Seagoon_reply
aussie.zone

So stop looking at your old work!!

Or, look at your work as a progression of skill. 😊

2
aussie.zone

I've heard of another one that's apparently good called Kooking With A Koori

And there's Boris, who has simple cheap cooking. Unfortunately I'm a bit worried posting him in the political climate of Ukraine (and more recently Russia outlawing LGBT as 'extremist'). Boris is a civilian who was homeless for a little while and probably isn't even Russian (possibly Estonian) but his cousin apparently was in the army.

3
aussie.zone

I might have to have a look at this book. I just watched a short video where he made a "Devon cake" which kinda surprised me a bit. Thanks for that.

3
lemmy.zip

Thanks for sharing this! The cookbook looks great, very informative and teaches cooking methods.

2

I bought birdseed so Gibson can have more entertainment whilst sitting in the window.

Was not expecting the insane noise from birds lol

6
aussie.zone

Fkn ell. Another injury. Saw my physio for my broken hand today and he feels it could be a grade 2 ligament tear (some ligament near my thumb) and sent me off for an x-ray. Why does this happen so often only when I start having some peace in life. Every time I pick up a physical activity I end up getting fucked 10 ways to Sunday.

Estimated recovery time is 4-6 weeks but it depends on the x-ray. If it's an avulsion fracture, well, that'll be 4-6 weeks more 🙂

6

You and my hubs. Every time he gets his exercise groove on the universe sits on him.

2

No idea what my brain is doing. Local street ‘book’ library put a bunch of stuff up. I dropped off some, took less than I wanted, but still feel like I did something wrong. Social panic all over your lino

5
aussie.zone

Man, today's just taken a turn for the worse after a thankfully good run over the last 7-10 days or so, so down and depressed like a switch flipped and everything automatically has been filtered through a negative lens. Probably because my period's due soon. Stupid bullshit reproductive system I don't want or need....

I'm glad I forced myself to go outside to get some essential bits even in the rain, and grateful I have no problems getting easy comfort food... fancy pasta, fancy pasta sauce, vegan mince, and now I'm watching some cheesy dumb movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt being a boringly hot online guitar teacher. Just blanking out my brain....

e: and now it's turned into feeling sick - headache, light sensitivity, feeling the signs of a cold coming on. Fark this shit. Gonna drink up some warm liquid and bed down.

I should be feeling accomplished cos I got some technical shit sorted with my phone (running rooted android is almost ridiculous now), but nup

5

Just finished watching Les Miserables, the 2019 movie about the French hood kids... fucking jangled now... christ. A very good film but not the best before bed. Really conveys that reality of never feeling safe

5

I live in the burbs, so no scooters thankfully. On the odd occasion I drive towards the city, I go past the scooter limit where there are always dozens of them strewn on the ground blocking footpaths, thrown into shrubs, lying in the gutters. People just fling them and walk away. I honestly don’t know how the system can be viable, the repair or replacement costs must be huge.

2

Seeing recent news stories about the Parthenon Marbles I have realised I must have been quite young when I heard about these sculptures, because the mental image I have always had of them was of a bunch of giant spheres - literally sculptures of marbles, rather than sculptures made from marble 🤣

4

My shower grout is grotty because Melbcat likes licking up droplets off the shower floor and I can't use much on it aside from the occasional dish soap and vinegar. (Also there hasn't exactly been a cleaning schedule.) Even now I don't dare use the bleach it needs, even washing it off afterwards in case I miss some.

I'm thinking of maybe getting some F10 veterinary disinfectant from Petcircle once I've done this bad food refund but still probably shouldn't use it on something she licks.

::: spoiler Pissed off Petcircle rant

 

So annoyed I bought the first of the two bags in person at a different shop and emptied it into a cliploc cereal container. That means I can't check the expiry date to see if it was affected or get it refunded like the second. Also I wish Petcircle would just give me a damn email address.

Edit: And on trying to check the expiry dates of affected batches, the Meals For Meows article has only repasted the details for the Meals For Mutts batches and any other source claiming to give info on the cat food is the same. Cheers cunts. This means I can't check and won't know for sure WHETHER OR NOT I ACCIDENTALLY TRIED TO FEED MY CAT MOULD. And less importantly it may affect getting a refund.

Whatever, it was bought after June so I'll just ask for the money back and tell them it's going in the bin.

Edit 2: OK. There was no order number given in the confirmation email for some reason, I did get an email alerting me of the recall and giving me the $50 code but I didn't see it as it was buried under the sheer amount of spam Petcircle send. And I don't have an account to prove it. It was bought 20th August so I'm assuming it's bad. I sent their stupid return form with my email and am moving on with my life.

Fuck. I nearly donated that food to a cat shelter too. It'd be nice if only important recall emails were sent and not buried under reams of marketing spam.

And if Melbcat turns up her nose at anything again I will immediately believe her.

 

:::

4
aussie.zone

I was thinking of growing a mango tree. What is the best kind of mango?

4
aussie.zone

One that will grow in Melbourne??? I will ask my sister, who grows bananas in Jacana, which I didn't think was possible but she now has a young forest of them. With fruit on the 'trees'. Surely there has to be a cold tolerant version of mango by now.
EDIT: found this on the interwebs Mallika: Can survive 0°C (32 °F) temperatures (for short periods of time). Turpentine mango: Relatively cold-hardy. Keitt: Low-growing variety that can grow and fruit in large pots. Gomera: The most resistant to cold and frost, and it fruits even in South France.

3

You need a frost-free microclimate to get that going down here. Maybe look at babaco? Babaco go ham

3

it's true, these tropical plants taste better when they have the hot sun. I grew bananas but they just didn't ripen properly

2

On reflection.. scootering to DFO South wasn't my best decision-making.

4

Did the adult thing and booked the car in for a little service before the holidays start and I'm doing lots of big trips. Got quoted $400 for the whole thing, but everyone knows that's never the end figure. Also, know they are going to say the shocks and suspension need doing, but it has to wait because it's having a face lift soon so I'd rather do it then with its updated weight.

4
aussie.zone

Perfect running weather for me being an overheater. Just need a way to stop the water running down into my eyes.... Would a sweat band work if there's water coming from everywhere? PB by 3 seconds. Doggo now dry and donut-ted on his bed.

3
lemmy.world

Thinking of moving to Melbourne soon, can anyone give me a rundown of what it's like to rent there?

3

Ha ha ha ...... Best of luck! You'll need it. Also get on the reddit r/melbourne sub - plenty of comments on rentals there.
Seriously, I haven't rented since 2018, but the current situation varies between appalling and even more appalling.

4

It's not great at the moment, but it's better than Sydney!!!

Which doesn't say much...

Try looking for places that are a little out of the way because demand is pretty strong at the moment. Even if you have the money, the units aren't always there

1
aussie.zone

Changed up movies to The Truman Show. Gee it's been ages since I watched it. I wonder what Gen Z or Alpha would think about the concept... it would feel so quaint today given how even reality TV is dated now, and they've grown up with the idea of everyone broadcasting so much their lives...

e: awww it's young Stan Beeman

3
bull⚡reply
aussie.zone

Gen Z would be clamouring for the opportunity to sign their future children up for something like this. Fame or die.

3

The chilling part of today's world is that to recreate the premise you'd need to factor in how heaps of people would be trying it across the world.

2
aussie.zone

Breakfast 🍏🍎🍐🍊🍋🍈🫐🍓🍇🍉🍌🍒🍑🥭🍍🥥🥦🥑🫛🍆🍅🥝🥬🥒🌽🥕🥐🍠🫚🥔🧅🥯🍞🥖🥨🧀🧇🥞🧈🍳🥚🥓🥩🍗🍖🫓🍕🍟🍔🌭🥙🧆🌮🌯🥗🍲🍜🍝🥘🍛🍣🍱🥟🦪🍥🍘🍚🍙🐠🍤🪼🦀🐙 🍗🥮🍢🍡🍧🍰🧁🥧🍦🍨🎂🍮🍭🍬🍫🥜🌰🍪🍿🍯🥛☕️🍵🍺🍶🥤🧋🧃🥂🍷🥃🍸🍹🧉🔋

2
aussie.zone

Is it stew of space pirates, or stew for space pirates? 🤔

edit: or are those one and the same? 🤯

3
Catfishreply
aussie.zone

According to my dream the other night it’s a kind of minced bar. I have no idea where this came from.

3

Had some ants in the laundry on a scouting mission, squashed them quick before they could tell their mates about whatever tiny hole they found for ingress.

2
aussie.zone

If I do housework all day surely I will bring some order to the chaos, even if i do the housework chaotically

2

Just saw your comment. The Bradley method? Not Stephen the ice skater, Margaret and her sister that invented the Bradley Method of Bush Regeneration.

1
aussie.zone

I need assistance please. I hit "disable" on my Chrome app accidentally, and it deleted the widget - the thing I tap to open Chrome. I can't figure out how to get it back. There are alternatives but it kinda sucks not just having it as a button

2
aussie.zone

If you flick the screen up do you have something like this.

If you do go into Google and see if it's there.

2