I don't mean to polish my knob, but I am doing a vegetarian menu this year that blows those insipid recipes out of the water. I guess I should start a foodie website and rake in that sweet-sweet ad revenue from click-bait.

(Totally being sarcastic)

Here's the menu:

• Velouté de Châtaignes (creamy fresh chestnut soup)
• Spanish tortilla with homemade saffron aioli
• My grandmother's green bean hot dish (excellent, not your basic beans+soup+canned fried onions mess at all)
• Roasted root vegetables with garden herbs (rutabagas, etc, with sage and rosemary from the garden)
• Winter salad with buttermilk dressing (updated Waldorf)
• Fresh corn soufflé
• Onion-Mushroom-Roquefort-Walnut tarte tatin (centerpiece dish)
• Fresh homemade pickles
• Fresh homemade baguettes
• Risalamande (Danish rice pudding for dessert)

I’m down with vegan food but whatever is in that pumpkin straight up looks disgusting.