Unfortunate Child Named “Not Me” Accumulates 30 Life Sentences Worth of Grounding Due To Lying Children Nationwide [Satire]

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You have entered the name "Not Sure." Is this correct, Not Sure?

Whats the current grounding to life sentence exchange rate?

So someone named "Wasn't Me" would get a sentence equal to the time Shaggy's song has been played.

30 life sentences?!

dude it's a satire article like the onion

Ah yes, the comedy genius of... Family Circus

On the bright side, he's suing Bill Keane's estate for trillions.