There's potential for friendship, but I have long hair and have since high-school. I hung out with girls and let them braid my hair and even put make up on me. Still got tons of tail at that time.
This is it. Just hang out, relax, and have fun. Be a good dude and you will get laid. It helps that I grew up with sisters and hung out with them a lot.
Where I live is pretty much the opposite unfortunately.
Most girls here love criminals because they're supposedly cooler and "more manly" and they have lots of (badly earned) money, and are also constantly red-eyed because of drugs.
While I was in high-school I lived in a semi rural state in the US. This was also around 20 years ago. I've lived all over the country though. I can always usually make friends at work or through hobbies.
It was nothing new for me. I grew up with 2 sisters that were very close to my age so I was already letting them decorate my face and hair long before I got into high-school. Still though, it's a good message to anyone at that age. Don't take yourself or your "masculine pride" too seriously and just have fun.
Basically, someone who hasn't quite realized they're not entirely cis yet. "I thought everyone had dreams of being a boy/girl." "I don't get all that upset when I'm mistaken for a guy/girl on the phone." "I don't really feel comfortable hanging out with other guys/girls. It feels boring."
Stuff like that. Other trans people can (usually) spot an egg a mile away. But like everything else in queerness, it's never cut-and-dry, black-and-white, easily defined. They could always just be comfortable enough in their birth-assigned gender to not give a shit, and that's valid.
It's considered rude to assign this trait to someone you know personally, and the topic is only broached if the person in question chooses to be vulnerable and ask you specific questions about gender. Otherwise, they are (as always) your friend first, and treating them with care and respect always comes first.
The typical protocol when one of your friends says or does something a little 'eggy' is to quietly notice it, treat it neutrally and passively, and not say anything for or against it. Let them figure things out on their own. If they are trans, they know they can ask you things. If they aren't, then they're just happy and comfortable being themself around you. In either case, it's not a bad thing.
That's kinda like saying you can pick your own nickname through behavior. Like, yeah, you're probably never gonna get called big tuna if you never touch the stuff at the office, but not really
Not like that at all. I want to hang out with men and women so I make friends with men and women. I invite them to stuff and they invite me to stuff. Sometimes I go to hang out and it winds up being mostly or all men. Sometimes mostly or all women. It really doesn't matter and the only thing that really makes the difference one way or the other is who is available at the time.
Avoid people who view their gender as an enclave cause they are for sure misogynist, misandrist, or both. Make yourself open to people who are more gender-agnostic if that term I just made up makes any sense.
It is a choice. You get to choose your friends. It's not RNG.
Most of that is not especially relevant. Being one of the girls or one of the guys has nothing to do with gender as an enclave or misandry or whatever. Clicking with any group of people isn't even guaranteed and you can absolutely hang out with a diverse mix of people and be considered one of either or one of both. But it's up to the group and the group dynamics, not you.
Being annoying and pedantic is a pretty good way of never getting picked as either, though.
I don't think I've ever heard of an ironic nickname applied to something that someone is totally neutral about. Maybe if they make a big deal about hating tuna? But that wasn't what I described
When I was in middle school we had a pull-up test in gym. First all the boys did theirs, then they had to leave and the girls did theirs. Nobody minded me staying because I couldn't do one just like most of the girls.
I kind of giggled at this, not trying to put you down. I did like around 20-30 and I was like maybe I should stop. -_- I had a military style workout routine every day, not by choice. I don't like to brag but just vent out the daily torture routine. I think it's funny that the One Punch Man workout routine is, heh, like nothing.
Hey now, no need to lie. If you had said it while appearing more honest, something like "I wanna brag, because I have put so much effort into this", you might have gotten a better response. Now it just sounds like, you are bragging, and also a liar.
With all the experiences I've had in my life, some of them I wish I was lying about. I could have written I did 50 normal push ups, 50 knuckle pushups, 50 finger pushups, 25 one had push ups for each hand. I mean I could go on with the details of the routine. That would be bragging. All I was trying to get across was that it sucked. My friends were playing outside and there I was working out. I felt that it took away from my childhood. It's not a brag to say that doing that shit everyday with gym in school, martial arts and track when all I wanted to do was play world of warcraft. To a certain extent, I want to stay anonymous with my posts, you don't have to believe me.
Yeah, no, I did not mean to imply you did not do all that, that is a communication failure on my part. Just pointing out, that your wording about not bragging, made your message read as something else, than what you likely meant. Unintentionally failing at communication is a big issue online, and I often try to point out, where the miscommunication happened, so that can be avoided in the future. That does not save me too, from failing from time to time, though.
No hard feelings, I just try to convey things as best as I can and it's a infinite learning process. That's why I like it here at lemmy, it's a place I can write about things I can't bring myself to say in person. And I get that it's a bit selfish.
I like lemmy too, since I can have interactions like this, where there is communication failure, but we can figure it out. Keep writing, it is not selfish! There are always people like me, who enjoy reading the comments :)
"There are always people like me, who enjoy reading the comments"
I like that, even if you disagree or point out my flaws; it's all good. It's why I left reddit. It's refreshing to have someone point out things instead of just downboating you. I'll admit, if you read through my comments, the first thought is--you're full of shit, it doesn't surprise me. I like to write here, like a diary, of my experiences in life because the older I get the more I realize how abnormal my life was--is.
I had a scenario like this when I was couch surfing while going to college. So there I am in a attic room surrounded by 5? girls and I thought to myself wtf am I doing here. I just came here to do my laundry, my friends girlfriend said it was okay and I could take showers there as well. In hindsight, I realized I'm an idiot. She showed me her room as well. I totally missed the subtle messages; she was very intelligent, she explained her school project about the function of ATP (Adenosine triphosphate). But hey I was a brain dead skateboarder then lol
I don’t know if you’re the idiot you think you are. You didn’t do anything, which rationalised the trust and why they let you in that circle in the first place. That’s a pretty decent level of trust very few men get to.
I would say I'm oblivious at the least. Working in retail I made quite a few female friends, understandably my girlfriend at the time didn't like that even though I was trying to find friends for her to hang out with after moving to a new place since I could just talk to my friend group on teamspeak and I didn't want her to feel lonely. I learned the hard way they liked me basically.
Idk, sounds to me like they feel comfortable around you.
I have a few close female friends, one I even usually share a bed with on trips. I asked her why it's like this once and it boiled down to "you don't expect anything from me".
I do have a partner and usually hang out mostly with women, so maybe I'm just not attractive, who knows
I mean looking back, I don't disagree. One of the girls would help me with random stuff. Another always wanted to take photos together and put them online, I said no thank you to that. I think that people have different interpretations of attraction. In a way I found being taught about ATP very attractive but I wasn't going to interject myself between her and my friend. So you probably have an attractiveness beyond a physical appearance.
I had turned into a biker at one point. It was about an eight mile ride to get this shot. Probably one of my favorite, and probably because riding all the way up there.
I joined a book club on discord, and ended up playing games and watching stuff as well. I am the only guy that shows up to most of it.
But this has also always been how it is. I sat with the girls during lunch years ago when I was in grade school. Most of my mothers family was women, so when I got dragged off to spend time with them for the weekend it was just like that. Joined a frat in college, but ended up spending more time with the sorority girls.
Wife's friends always requested that she bring me along even though none of the other husbands/partners were coming. When she'd ask why they would just tell her "he's fun". I assume, "without being a tiresome asshole" was the unmentioned part.
I'll probably get brutally assassinated for saying this, but typing "female friend" in this case is simpler than explaining that "girl friend" is not his girl friend.
I know there are people that have made it a mission in life to be shit heels and have made the word female into something nasty but I still say we shouldn't let them.
Thanks for listening to my Ted talk and try not to hate me for having an opinion.
I may just be old, but I agree. (Editing to add I'm an old cis woman.) I think Anon using "female" as an adjective with "friend" when he's going on to talk about girls' night with her and the rest of his new friends is several levels less bad than someone using "female" as a noun, they're just dismissed as "a female."
I also suspect that it won't be long before the egg cracks and we see the update on this post over in blahaj 196 or whatever it is.
I think we should go deeper. Rewrote it to avoid any language that might trigger anyone.
>friend invites me to group-watch cartoons
>pretty fun
>they want me to watch stuff with them next week too
>get invited to their irc
>they call their weekly cartoon watching night
>ask why they invited me to watch night
>they say I don't count
>ask why
>"you're basically a friend"
What the? I'm 6'1
132 replies
Egg
🥚
Take the W, OP.
Seriously, there's still potential there.
Uhhh potential that OP will realize he just made some friends? Or....?
There's potential for friendship, but I have long hair and have since high-school. I hung out with girls and let them braid my hair and even put make up on me. Still got tons of tail at that time.
It's almost like being a nice decent person gets you laid a lot.
This is it. Just hang out, relax, and have fun. Be a good dude and you will get laid. It helps that I grew up with sisters and hung out with them a lot.
Where I live is pretty much the opposite unfortunately.
Most girls here love criminals because they're supposedly cooler and "more manly" and they have lots of (badly earned) money, and are also constantly red-eyed because of drugs.
I'd love to live where you live 😫
Just be a decent human being, nice and caring, and you'll see, those "bad boy lovers" will disappear from your dreams!
Also, I will say it always helps to work out and have social hobbies. Try to go out and do things with people and eventually you will meet someone.
While I was in high-school I lived in a semi rural state in the US. This was also around 20 years ago. I've lived all over the country though. I can always usually make friends at work or through hobbies.
This rocks. Good on you, and good on you for inspiring others with your story.
It was nothing new for me. I grew up with 2 sisters that were very close to my age so I was already letting them decorate my face and hair long before I got into high-school. Still though, it's a good message to anyone at that age. Don't take yourself or your "masculine pride" too seriously and just have fun.
Having a close group of female friends is not a bad thing for a dude. If none of them are in to you, they surely have friends.
And beyond that, it's just good
If nothing else, he might learn to be around women without reverting to a perma-online 4chan incel.
Still a ways to go yet, by the looks of it.
Maybe because OP is the first man they meet that doesn't treat women like sex objects
I was always "basically a girl" in a gir group. It's great, i don't even jnderstand what the problem is.
Vocabulary, mostly.
Mostly, vocabulary.
Well, if you have hopes of sticking your little pecker in one or multiple of those girls, then those expectations would lead to disappointment.
Sometimes people just fuck regardless of what the friend zone rules say.
Did you know that sometimes girls have sex with each other too?
never seen it, care to give an example?
I'm pretty sure the lack of that is what gets you honorary girl status.
I'm a straight
ish6' dude built like a plumber but the lesbians in my DnD group declared me an honorary lesbian.Ah, that's the fisting part of girl's night.
All you had to say was plumber. Pretty sure plumber - bigot = honorary lesbian
Wait, does that mean bigoted lesbians are dishonourable plumbers?
I don't make the claim but the math maths
Fake: OP is >6ft tall. Gay: OP turned into a les(trans)bian.
Ah the great 4chan anon paradox.
Fake: OP didn’t get invited anywhere, because he posts on 4chan.
Gay: If OP did get invited to “girl’s night”, it’s because he is gay, but that didn’t happen because this is fake (see item 1 above.)
Sounds like Anon doesn't appreciate the fact that he's part of an inclusive friend group.
"inclusivity" is like the antithesis of 4chan
fake: op talks to girls
gay: op is one of the girls
Fake: Anon has friends
Gay: Anon is presumably built like a twink
Or has egg vibes, and has been preemptively adopted by her soon-to-be girl gang.
Egg?
Basically, someone who hasn't quite realized they're not entirely cis yet. "I thought everyone had dreams of being a boy/girl." "I don't get all that upset when I'm mistaken for a guy/girl on the phone." "I don't really feel comfortable hanging out with other guys/girls. It feels boring."
Stuff like that. Other trans people can (usually) spot an egg a mile away. But like everything else in queerness, it's never cut-and-dry, black-and-white, easily defined. They could always just be comfortable enough in their birth-assigned gender to not give a shit, and that's valid.
It's considered rude to assign this trait to someone you know personally, and the topic is only broached if the person in question chooses to be vulnerable and ask you specific questions about gender. Otherwise, they are (as always) your friend first, and treating them with care and respect always comes first.
The typical protocol when one of your friends says or does something a little 'eggy' is to quietly notice it, treat it neutrally and passively, and not say anything for or against it. Let them figure things out on their own. If they are trans, they know they can ask you things. If they aren't, then they're just happy and comfortable being themself around you. In either case, it's not a bad thing.
"One does not simply crack the egg" - Boromir
Someone who hasn't realized they're trans yet
Well when humans go through a trying time they turn into an egg.
Non-binary/egg-gender
Is sperm gender also a term that's used? Or only egg?
No.
Its a trans femme meme of "when am egg cracks a chick emrges".
Or so the legends I saw.
Thanks!
So obvious in hindsight. Thanks for sharing.
Is there a trans masc term or are they also eggs?
Theyre also eggs, which is a little unfortunate there.
I have no idea
Being one of the girls > being one of the guys
as an nb ambassador in the gender demilitarized zone it's really crazy to me that people choose either/or
It's something that other people chose for you, you don't pick it yourself
it's something you pick through your own behavior.
That's kinda like saying you can pick your own nickname through behavior. Like, yeah, you're probably never gonna get called big tuna if you never touch the stuff at the office, but not really
Not like that at all. I want to hang out with men and women so I make friends with men and women. I invite them to stuff and they invite me to stuff. Sometimes I go to hang out and it winds up being mostly or all men. Sometimes mostly or all women. It really doesn't matter and the only thing that really makes the difference one way or the other is who is available at the time.
Avoid people who view their gender as an enclave cause they are for sure misogynist, misandrist, or both. Make yourself open to people who are more gender-agnostic if that term I just made up makes any sense.
It is a choice. You get to choose your friends. It's not RNG.
Most of that is not especially relevant. Being one of the girls or one of the guys has nothing to do with gender as an enclave or misandry or whatever. Clicking with any group of people isn't even guaranteed and you can absolutely hang out with a diverse mix of people and be considered one of either or one of both. But it's up to the group and the group dynamics, not you.
Being annoying and pedantic is a pretty good way of never getting picked as either, though.
Don't you see that what I'm getting at is that the entire concept of "one of the X" is weird and gross? Femaleness and maleness are not in-groups.
That's exactly how someone would get called Big Tuna. It's like a huge guy named
TonyTinyI don't think I've ever heard of an ironic nickname applied to something that someone is totally neutral about. Maybe if they make a big deal about hating tuna? But that wasn't what I described
Or maybe they used to work for a cat food cannery idk how some nicknames happen
*Tell us what really happens when a group of girls hang out together. Is it true they do cliche things like: rituals, eat, fart and poo??
What else can humans do?
That's a job that I've outsourced to AI.
Just watch out for when they start lezzing out
If they do...just roll with it
That's true, my all girl friend group has a tendency to do that. And of course by lezzing out I mean snuggle up with our wives.
When I was in middle school we had a pull-up test in gym. First all the boys did theirs, then they had to leave and the girls did theirs. Nobody minded me staying because I couldn't do one just like most of the girls.
I kind of giggled at this, not trying to put you down. I did like around 20-30 and I was like maybe I should stop. -_- I had a military style workout routine every day, not by choice. I don't like to brag but just vent out the daily torture routine. I think it's funny that the One Punch Man workout routine is, heh, like nothing.
Hey now, no need to lie. If you had said it while appearing more honest, something like "I wanna brag, because I have put so much effort into this", you might have gotten a better response. Now it just sounds like, you are bragging, and also a liar.
With all the experiences I've had in my life, some of them I wish I was lying about. I could have written I did 50 normal push ups, 50 knuckle pushups, 50 finger pushups, 25 one had push ups for each hand. I mean I could go on with the details of the routine. That would be bragging. All I was trying to get across was that it sucked. My friends were playing outside and there I was working out. I felt that it took away from my childhood. It's not a brag to say that doing that shit everyday with gym in school, martial arts and track when all I wanted to do was play world of warcraft. To a certain extent, I want to stay anonymous with my posts, you don't have to believe me.
Yeah, no, I did not mean to imply you did not do all that, that is a communication failure on my part. Just pointing out, that your wording about not bragging, made your message read as something else, than what you likely meant. Unintentionally failing at communication is a big issue online, and I often try to point out, where the miscommunication happened, so that can be avoided in the future. That does not save me too, from failing from time to time, though.
No hard feelings, I just try to convey things as best as I can and it's a infinite learning process. That's why I like it here at lemmy, it's a place I can write about things I can't bring myself to say in person. And I get that it's a bit selfish.
I like lemmy too, since I can have interactions like this, where there is communication failure, but we can figure it out. Keep writing, it is not selfish! There are always people like me, who enjoy reading the comments :)
"There are always people like me, who enjoy reading the comments"
I like that, even if you disagree or point out my flaws; it's all good. It's why I left reddit. It's refreshing to have someone point out things instead of just downboating you. I'll admit, if you read through my comments, the first thought is--you're full of shit, it doesn't surprise me. I like to write here, like a diary, of my experiences in life because the older I get the more I realize how abnormal my life was--is.
haha
Hey now dudes over 6 feet can be femboys too. Don't let your height limit your possibilities, king (?queen).
But femboys aren't girls. That's literally their entire thing.
I'm a 6'6'' man, but I dream of being a 4'7'' femboy.
I'll get the axe
Do you have any idea how much hot coffee shooting through a nose hurts?
I hold you responsible, degen.
Suddenly Gattaca
He won, but at what cost?
A bunch of girls being comfortable around him...
NoooooooooooooooOoooOOOooooooo!!!!
I had a scenario like this when I was couch surfing while going to college. So there I am in a attic room surrounded by 5? girls and I thought to myself wtf am I doing here. I just came here to do my laundry, my friends girlfriend said it was okay and I could take showers there as well. In hindsight, I realized I'm an idiot. She showed me her room as well. I totally missed the subtle messages; she was very intelligent, she explained her school project about the function of ATP (Adenosine triphosphate). But hey I was a brain dead skateboarder then lol
I don’t know if you’re the idiot you think you are. You didn’t do anything, which rationalised the trust and why they let you in that circle in the first place. That’s a pretty decent level of trust very few men get to.
I would say I'm oblivious at the least. Working in retail I made quite a few female friends, understandably my girlfriend at the time didn't like that even though I was trying to find friends for her to hang out with after moving to a new place since I could just talk to my friend group on teamspeak and I didn't want her to feel lonely. I learned the hard way they liked me basically.
And they had reason to, you’ve shown it again
I'll take the compliment. Thank you.
I’d say you earned it.
They aren’t lying when they talk about how hard it is to trust them.
Idk, sounds to me like they feel comfortable around you.
I have a few close female friends, one I even usually share a bed with on trips. I asked her why it's like this once and it boiled down to "you don't expect anything from me".
I do have a partner and usually hang out mostly with women, so maybe I'm just not attractive, who knows
I mean looking back, I don't disagree. One of the girls would help me with random stuff. Another always wanted to take photos together and put them online, I said no thank you to that. I think that people have different interpretations of attraction. In a way I found being taught about ATP very attractive but I wasn't going to interject myself between her and my friend. So you probably have an attractiveness beyond a physical appearance.
You are a good dude. If you were fine with being an interloper you would have probably picked up on the vibe.
I don't understand I'm a braindead biker
I had turned into a biker at one point. It was about an eight mile ride to get this shot. Probably one of my favorite, and probably because riding all the way up there.
Thanks for my new ultrawide desktop background!
You're welcome! Thanks for using it!
Dont fuck it up, OP (narrator: he did.)
I joined a book club on discord, and ended up playing games and watching stuff as well. I am the only guy that shows up to most of it.
But this has also always been how it is. I sat with the girls during lunch years ago when I was in grade school. Most of my mothers family was women, so when I got dragged off to spend time with them for the weekend it was just like that. Joined a frat in college, but ended up spending more time with the sorority girls.
It just be like that.
You must love the tea
🥚
Very 🥚
Wife's friends always requested that she bring me along even though none of the other husbands/partners were coming. When she'd ask why they would just tell her "he's fun". I assume, "without being a tiresome asshole" was the unmentioned part.
6'1 eunuch
Is there a slur pass that he gets for that?
I'll probably get brutally assassinated for saying this, but typing "female friend" in this case is simpler than explaining that "girl friend" is not his girl friend.
I know there are people that have made it a mission in life to be shit heels and have made the word female into something nasty but I still say we shouldn't let them.
Thanks for listening to my Ted talk and try not to hate me for having an opinion.
Really? I've always thought female as an adjective is completely normal. Using it as a noun (to describe women) is what's weird.
That usage (as a noun) tends to set off a good twenty minutes of goblin mode at lesbian game night.
I just made this to prep for the next one
It is. OP doesn't understand the difference.
Yeah female is just the adjective form of woman. It's normal to use as an adjective, cringe as a noun
I may just be old, but I agree. (Editing to add I'm an old cis woman.) I think Anon using "female" as an adjective with "friend" when he's going on to talk about girls' night with her and the rest of his new friends is several levels less bad than someone using "female" as a noun, they're just dismissed as "a female."
I also suspect that it won't be long before the egg cracks and we see the update on this post over in blahaj 196 or whatever it is.
man friend with feeeeemalees?
must be trans
No, male-female friendships are great and can last a long time, but these girls say Anon is practically a girl, maybe they see something true.
They're making baseless, silly assumptions in the same vein as modern bigots in jest. Is satire.
What about... "Friend"?
I think we should go deeper. Rewrote it to avoid any language that might trigger anyone.
>friend invites me to group-watch cartoons
>pretty fun
>they want me to watch stuff with them next week too
>get invited to their irc
>they call their weekly cartoon watching night
>ask why they invited me to watch night
>they say I don't count
>ask why
>"you're basically a friend"
What the? I'm 6'1
Hope that helped
Did you not read the post? Her being a woman is critical to the story
"With her and her friends" makes it pretty clear in my opinion, but I guess the use of "female" makes it clear that op is a man
Wait, you hear “her” and assume gender. Die in a fire bigot.
That could work and would probably be fine here, but saying female in this case is ok because context.
It was descriptive of his friend, not a label or whatever it is that makes it bad.
attached picture in the post is Mari from omori (a minor)
Fascinating. I'm glad I didn't accidentally masturbate to what I might otherwise assume is an adult.
Thank you for informing me of the age of this drawn woman, so that I may avoid upsetting [insert who fucking cares]
I never said you couldn't do that. I just made a comment about who it was.
Okay, and? Are you worried someone's gonna whack their shit to a green text?