Boss laughed at me when I told him women need period products at work.
I don’t know where to post about this. I’m so angry and I feel helpless.
This week, my company flew all of our out of town coworkers in to do some in person networking and what trainings.
A couple of those women needed period products unexpectedly. I went to the store and got some products for them.
When I got back, I asked if our division president had a few minutes to chat. He’s always telling us to stop by with ideas and concerns. So, I thought I’d tell him that women need period products and they shouldn’t have to beg other coworkers for an extra tampon or pad. We have a machine in the bathroom that supplies tampon for a quarter, if it’s even stocked. It’s often empty.
I personally don’t have periods due to an IUD so I don’t even need them. I just wanted to be a voice for other women who were afraid to speak up. We’re remodeling two floors of our office so I figured I’d put the idea in now so it could be considered in the new plans.
He literally laughed at me. Not figuratively. Literally. He laughed so hard he put his head down on his desk. He told me no one ever complained before so why should he care now? He said if women need a tampon they can come ask him for a quarter to buy one from a machine. He told me to come back with bigger/better ideas.
I asked him if he had a bathroom emergency, is he going to go to his boss and ask for clean underwear? I told him that just because we do something one way for a long time doesn’t mean it’s right. Society thought racism was okay for a long time but we learn, grow and change. I told him that I found his response offensive and disrespectful to women.
I didn’t even expect them to even start stocking female hygiene products, but for women’s issues to be taken serious. Something like “I can’t promise we can stock them but women’s needs are worth considering”
(FYI our headquarters does offer free period products for women in that office, but not in our office. I work for a very large national company in the US).
Meanwhile, one of the women who needed a pad had to go to the hospital because she was having a miscarriage and hadn’t even told anyone that she was pregnant, as I write this, she is having surgery to get parts of her reproductive organs removed. She will probably not be able to ever have children after today. She doesn’t live in this city, has no family here, and probably can’t fly home.
I’m so angry that a woman was having a real crisis today and he wanted her to come beg him for a quarter to get a tampon.
I wish I could tell people where and boycott their products but I’m scared I’ll be fired for talking about it.
Last June I reached out to a Union Organizer via AFL CIO over a separate issues, but I never heard back from them.
I did talk to the highest ranking woman in my office after talking to him. To her credit she was took me serious and was compassionate. She also made a point to check in on the hospitalized woman as well.
16 replies
I felt like I was reading something that happened in the 90's. That is insane how he reacted. He should not be in a position of power.
There are so fucking many of them and they're everywhere.
I would reach out to HQ - if they have free period products there, there must be someone with sufficient influence to get that done. Report that arsehole while you're at it. Totally unacceptable unprofessional behaviour.
Male privilege is insane. I don't go through what you go through, but the ability to even consider another person's perspective should be REQUIRED for any position with power over the daily work-lives of other people.
Sadly, gaining power has traditionally often required the complete disregard for other people's perspectives, etc. 😓
Certainly also requires an outgroup to look down upon. :(
What a fucking turd this man is. It's revolting.
That man is an asshole. Not only is this behavior completely unprofessional, it's also complete unacceptable on a personal level. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
That sounds like he wants you to let everyone know he's graciously offered to fund period products for every woman you can find, and you should all line up outside his door demanding tampon money.
How about evwryone purposely cones to him and requests it. Then when its nit availabke, leaves work abruptly to go buy the product. On conpany time. One by one. Until he gets the message.
Obviously, nobody should actually. Be at risk of an accidental leak(?) but there is no way for them to check if youre wearing a pad or tampon.
I would also consider taking all the toilet paper from the mens room daily and stocking it in the womens. See how important it is then.
What a misogynistic psychopath. I stand with you in solidarity.
Your request is not unreasonable. But even if it were, you can't laugh at your colleague (you) like that, wtaf. That was not nice.
I hope you find a way to move forward from this, or find another place of work. 🤟
I think this should be reported to HR.
Having to head out the door to dialysis, but a quick comment here to express my support and anger on your behalf. I'm sorry. That's such bullshit. I agree with talking to HQ to see if they can help.
Genuine question (NOT victim-blaming):
I got caught by surprise once on an overnight when I was a teenager and ever since have always carried two days worth of period supplies in my purse and always included a full cycle's worth in my travel pack. Is this not standard? Otherwise you're leaving yourself to the mercy of whatever's available (which, in addition to potentially not existing like in this case, could be inappropriate for your physical comfort preferences, flow level, etc).
How many times have you left the house without your keys or wallet? How often have you left your phone somewhere stupid? These are things that we actively need almost every time we leave the house, yet most people still forget them every now and then. It's much easier to forget about something that you only need in an emergency maybe once a month.
I also make a habit of carrying a couple of pads in my purse, but there are a number of reasons why they might not be in there. There's a good chance I forgot to replenish the supply from when I last used it. Sometimes I've had to minimize the stuff I'm carrying, took out the pads knowing I was safe for that particular day, and then forgot to put them back in later. Sometimes I've swapped bags and forgot to transfer them. Maybe my toddler got a hold of my bag and she pulled out a bunch of things before I caught her.
The people asking for feminine hygiene products to be kept in stock are not necessary planning to use them exclusively and to never bring their own. There's a lot of reasons we might end up without any of our own available, despite best efforts. Life happens. All we want is to retain a little dignity and minimize clothing damage when it happens.
One woman didn’t have anything with her because she was pregnant and didn’t expect to need them. The other did bring some with her in her suitcase but didn’t take them to the office because her period came early.
One of the arguments my boss made was that no one in 30 years ever complained about it before.
I would say that I think women have been conditioned to hide their needs and encouraged to feel shame around them for a long time. Women weren’t welcome in the workplace until fairly recently. By the time, women were allowed in those spaces the rules were already established.
You also need toilet paper or hand soap but you don’t feel the need to carry it around with you because society has decided that these are a basic hygienic next. I just don’t understand why feminine hygiene products aren’t treated the same way. It’s not a choice. It’s a necessity.
I would argue that we can make a better world for the future by being thoughtful about diverse needs!