I am alive because I was born and I haven't died
Human consciousness is a mutation that creates needs that cannot be satisfied by reality. It creates pains that can never be alleviated. The reason I feel the way I feel should is obvious. The real question is... Why can you ignore it but I can't?
5 replies
Yeah most normies don't want to be told that life is suffering. Maybe the goal isn't to ignore it, but to choose another way to think about it. Have you been exposed to any Buddhist teachings? I feel like they have a lot to say about desire and suffering. Or perhaps stoicism. Being curious at least makes things seem less depressing.
You’re depressed. Your assumptions are wrong and perseverating on them keeps you depressed. It’s self-preservation mode that’s out of control.
You have to decide to change your perspective and take the steps to claw your way out of the hole you’re in. This includes getting help if you can because it’s hard to do it on your own.
Every thought of “but I can’t” is the depression trying to keep you in the seemingly safe depression (because trying is scary).
The depression lies to you and hugs you like a warm blanket. It tells you everything is bullshit, that people don’t understand, that there’s no use in bothering to try to get up. It lets you believe you have no control. It creates a cocoon for you to isolate in, to filter out anything positive.
The way out is to defy it, angrily if that helps or calmly if that’s more your style. Name the depression, talk to it. Tell it to “fuck off” then go for a walk. Or, tell it to “I don’t need you right now” and wash some dishes. Take small steps and slip out of its grasp if even for a moment.
Gradually, it will weaken and you’ll see it for what it was.
I don't think my depression is typical. I'm on top of everything, spotless apartment, waking up on time, eating alright, exercising, seeing my friends regularly, having sex, visiting nature, getting all my work done and so on. I know that I'm smart enough and resourceful enough that I can achieve any goal I set my mind to.
The problem is that it isn't enough. I don't feel satisfied by any of it. I run my life as if my feelings will change and one day it will all feel worth it, but deep down I just know. Life doesn't have anything for me. What I need doesn't exist.
Have spoken to a therapist or doctor? That’s where you should start.
People post to the internet everyday seeking validation for what they’ve decided is “the problem” because everything you read online is easy to dismiss. You can easily either get validation or ignore advice and suggestions.
If you genuinely want to change—to address these feelings and change perspective—you should seek help from a professional.
Just writing to let you know you are not alone in feeling like this. I had a breakdown a while ago and have been struggling with my own depression ever since.
I don't have the answers for you, but you are not alone. Being a conscious being can be tough sometimes.