Meeting someone who is already into diapers is an option!

I met my girlfriend in the ABDL community a little over a half a year ago and it's been great. We're both into diapers and are comfortable switching roles and trying various things out together, and it's been a lot of fun. So far so good! We were both comfortable talking over messages for a few weeks before exchanging information and pictures, and ultimately meeting up for a first date. I loved that we not only shared some kinks, but also could talk about a lot of other interests.

As much as I hate to promote Reddit on the Fediverse, we met on r/ABDLPersonals. Generally the ABDL scene on Reddit is relatively strong on Reddit, but patience is a virtue and your mileage may vary. You need to be aware and vigilant of potential scammers, frauds, weirdos (for lack of a better term), etc.

I also recommend checking out Fetlife and trying to meet up with some local ABDL kinksters at a munch if you can. Odds are you aren't going to met your special someone there, but it can be nice to open doors in your local community and to normalize your own internal feelings about your kinks so that you have less doubts. While there can be some strange people in the kink scene, I've also met some very nice and "normal" people too, and it was good for me to explore that I think!

I haven't honestly dated much, for various reasons including internalized kink shame and fear related to that, so I can't really speak to dating someone vanilla. But in my experience now having been in a relationship where we keep no secrets and love each other, I can at least imagine that it's possible.

ABDL is definitely not something to bring up in the first few dates, since I think it's good to get to know people as full people first, and I think there's nothing wrong with working towards that. But you also don't want to be in a situation where you are keeping this hidden for too long. Depending on how important this is to your sexuality I would give yourself 3-6 months max before you really ought to come clean about your kinks. You don't want to scare people off by going too far too soon, but you also shouldn't waste people's time by waiting too long to give them a complete picture of who you are and what you want. (So don't live a lie, and don't be the person who goes online asking how to tell their fiance or wife about their diaper kink! They ought to know before it gets serious, whatever that means to you.)

Over the last 6 months or so I have truly come to believe that if a person really loves you they will be able to accept and possibly even indulge your fantasies. My girlfriend happens to be into diapers (like I am) because we met through the ABDL community, but she is a complex and complete person and there is a lot more to her than her kinks. But I think that other open minded people exist, and you just need to be a little bit fearless and put yourself out there. I put myself out there and met someone lovely in just a few months.

Remember that having a silly kink doesn't make you a bad person or unworthy of love. It's actually totally ok for consenting adults to wear diapers and do whatever you want with that. It's not for everyone and it won't work the same way (or at all) for every relationship, but there are still people out there who can, at the very least, accept it, and in the best case, enjoy it with you.

Look, when I was dating as an unemployed, trans, vegan with severe mobility problems I thought no one would ever love me. Yet I'm happily married to a beautiful woman who somehow does.

You'll find someone.

I already know my fiance is :3 but so am I, and I met him in an ABDL community, so there's that lol. My opinion is probably not worth much for that reason, but yeah ^^

My initial instinctive reaction would be to find it weird, but I wouldn't be an asshole about it. It's squarely in the "your kink is not my kink and that's okay" territory for me. There have been times where I have done kinky stuff that I'm not especially into for a partner (and also times where I ended up liking that stuff more than expected), but I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable doing that in this case.

However, I'm also poly, so if my partner did reveal this to me, I would support them to find someone with whom they could explore this kink. I'd also be interested in discussing with you what it is that it does for you, and potentially open to play of an adjacent sort that scratches a similar itch.

Though as a final note, I want to add that I think I'd be much more weirded out if you revealed it to me as if it were a shameful thing. I think that primes a person to act in a certain way. I know it's hard to not feel ashamed about one's kinks when they're outside of the mainstream (I have my own experience here, just with different kinks), but try your best to not berate yourself for being into this stuff. Human sexuality is weird as hell, but that doesn't need to be a problem as long as we cultivate good communication skills and a healthy curiosity about other people's perspectives

It’s not my thing, but I’d entertain it enthusiastically for sure, as long as there’s no poo involved. Poo, vom, and needles are my hard limits. I don’t mind that people are into that and I don’t find anything wrong with it, but I won’t be involved in the actual practice.

Just wearing diapers or peeing in them? Sure, I’m down if my partner wanted to.

That's a hard no for me dawg, but I did once fool around with a woman whose bf was into abdl and she was down for it with him.

You're probably gonna want to be looking in kink communities and very upfront about what you want.

I’m not into this, nor have I been in the dating world in a long time, so take my opinion with as many grains of salt as you want. For the record, nothing wrong with it, just not for me.

This one is going to be a hard one for many to accept, particularly if you want it to involve defecation.

If this is something you need to share with a partner to be fulfilled, you need to roll it out early.

I don’t know what your overall chances are, but I suspect they’d be much higher in ABDL or kink specific spaces.

My ex-gf was and I told her "find someone else to do that with, it ain't gonna be me"