Older photo while we're posting selfies
Hi first post actually acknowledging I'm trans on Lemmy. My pronouns are they/any and I consider myself to be trans NB.
This photo is from about 18 months ago (somehow). I am not on HRT, the sports bra is doing some heavy lifting, and the camera is doing a decent job at covering the facial hair.
I decided on this photo as this is both a photo of me without my full face yet and also a photo that brings me joy because I can see myself in the clothes that I want to wear. No painted nails in this photo, but I do love having my nails painted (my SO is so jealous of how well I can do my nails even though I've only been painting them for a short time). Here's some actual done nails!
I don't know where I'm going with this, but I was feeling really sad and slightly suicidal tonight and then saw all of the joy in this space and decided that rather than wallowing I should find some light for myself and use this space for good.
9 replies
Welcome dear sibling <3
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💜 I'm proud of you
Omg welcome!!! I love your initiative to start engaging today! I always try to welcome new girlies when im not in a hole myself, so a very warm welcome!
Your dress is just 😍😍 whered you get it?? Love the nails too youre already far better than i was at your stage (and still am if im honest 😅). Blue looks so beautiful on you i love it so much.
I understand the struggle. Its an unfortunate thing that the venn diagram for trans people and suicidal thoughts is a circle. Youre not alone and youre not unloved. I know thats what everyone says, but i genuinely mean it, it would devastate me if i heard about any of my sisters being successful in that awful endeavor. Ive dealt with those thoughts too, as im sure most of us have. If it helps you you can always reach out to talk about anything to me, theres not an insignificant amount of girls here that have my IRL number. Dms are always open. I guess id say i have more experience than some, a vast mojority of the dead members of my blood family have self deleted, including my father. So if anything else, im very understanding and non judgemental. Please reach out if you need to❤️❤️
THAT GOES FOR ALL OF YOU! I know your reading this, please talk to me or someone. I wouldnt be able to stand the loss of my sisters here. If you are thinking about harming yourself please please talk, or call 988 (if in usa). Youre not alone, i genuinely love you all. Stay strong stay beautiful and dont let the bastards grind you down❤️❤️
Edit: adding that ive been in an extra deep hole myself the last month and half. Todays actually the first day ive engaged this much since like may. I did deal with some stuff that put me back into those thoughts. I will say that engaging here is a HUGE help, and seeing all the joy you cant help but feel joyful too. I love you girl i believe in you, believe in yourself too ❤️
Edit 2: im so sorry i completely slipped past the pronoun thing, is you/your like i used it here ok? Because if not id be more than happy to edit
My SO bought the dress for me off of Amazon of all places. I've not found anything else like it. It's still the only dress I own myself because I haven't found anything else that fits me (not physically but emotionally 😂). Thank you so much for the compliments 💜
Your pronoun usage is perfectly fine! I've waffled between they/them and any/all, but I have ended up compromising on they/any as a reminder to whoever understands that while I may prefer they that I'm going to respond to you no matter how you refer to me as long as you're respectful and I can tell you're talking about me.
Personally I think that gender as a social construct is dumb and so I'm choosing in my own way to show that (hence NB even though I'm choosing to dress more femme). And I will fight to the death to allow my brothers and sisters to express themselves however they want to.
Thank you for the warm welcome 💜 I've technically been out to myself for about 2 years now and I was mentally preparing myself to be publicly out but then the election happened and I got scared (even though I'm in a trans friendly state) so at this point I'm only out to a handful of people irl, not even my family (who I think would be confused but accept me, but I'm not sure they'd be able to keep it a secret which is why I've hesitated coming out to them). I told myself that it'd be easy enough to hide using my "cis male privilege" until I felt like I (and therefore my SO and family) wouldn't be in danger by being out publicly, and instead I've been doing my best to help out others who are in their journey. Y'all inspire me so much - I feel like a fraud when I lurk in these spaces 😂
Ok good im not fucking up lol, but please if there is some pronoun you prefer and i dont use it do tell me, im a good learner! Even though im kinda old and from a time when slurs were still in active language, so you know some of them are perhaps a bit confusing to me but im so happy to call people what they want to be called! It literally doesnt affect my day at all to learn someones proper pronouns (looking at you reich wingers). So just be you! We love that and theyll adjust 😊
Honestly amazon is where i got some of my favorite dresses. Obvi fuck jeff bezos, but lets be real here, amazon isnt going away. Even if noone used it again hed still be richer than god lol. The yellow one in my past posts is a favorite of mine (and some on here lol) and that was approx 30$ from the rainforest store.
I get the apprehension, especially with election results! Im assuming your in the USA, where theres the worst elections lol. Alot of the girls here are same boat club, and i was too. Honestly probly still would be if not for the state outting me.
You shoudnt feel like a fraud, ask about the journey of any of the girls here. We all have different ish stories but most of us started with some form of questioning and lurking. I know i did anyway! I had this account for months before i even posted or commented. Theres no shame in it.
We are so happy youre here, stick around awhile yeah? ❤️❤️
Wow, thanks and congratulations for coming out! I have a lot of fun doing my nails too.
I hope you stick around and feel better.
Thank you! 💜