Spyke

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TheShitpostOffice·The Shitpost OfficebyPiraHxCx

It's 2028. You buy a six-pack...

You open the brand app, scan your face, and touch your nose to get the token to remove the cap protection.

Although you need to agree to share your geolocation data, it's redundant since the protection device is already sharing it, and every ALPR on the way logged its Bluetooth signal.

If their LLM thinks you are not who you are, judges you to look inebriated, or decrees you are not in a safe location, you won't get the token.

If you try to force it open or bypass it entirely by making a hole in or cutting the bottle, the cap protection will detect the change in air concentration and pressure and spray denaturation agents.

Yes, you still had to show your ID to buy it.

But the price didn't increase, because you agreed to let them share all your expenditure, movement, consumption, and companion data with third parties.

The kids are safe now.

View original on lemmy.dbzer0.com
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Luckily I have an arduino board programmed with a bypass key that I downloaded from the dark web. Only cost me $72,000.

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It's 2028. You buy a six-pack... | Spyke