egg_irl·egg_irl — Memes about being trans people in denial and other eggy topicsbyTotallynotJessica
egg💡irl
If you're never given a chance to experience it, you might not know you want it.
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Comments5View original on lemmy.blahaj.zone
If you're never given a chance to experience it, you might not know you want it.
The first time I tried honestly I felt intense dysphoria.
Because I could just see the form of a big man* in women's clothing and I couldn't help but feel extremely sad about how I was looking.
(*no there is nothing wrong about a man wearing "women's" clothes. It was just my dysphoria and the hatred of my body talking because I felt this clash between what I wanted to look like and my actual body which I had always hated)
It was pre-hormones and weight loss. Today I appreciate my body from time to time, it's gonna be even better in a year and half (6 months HRT today). I love wearing my feminine clothes (still have too few of them). I'm still a big girl, lost 25 kg and need to loose 20 more for a healthy weight, but one that feels better and happy from time to time :3
The comic is good and cute :3
I just meant to say, the first feeling might not be euphoria when trying fem clothes. It's hard sometimes to pinpoint what's causing this feeling of being perpetually bad. Dysphoria, depression, social anxiety, pressure from family/work/relationships, etc...
Plus side of tucking or smoothing clothing is it's just wins if it's not uncomfortable. Granted, it also easy to never connect that to gender if you only experience it accidentally. Otoh, dressing fem and hating it because your body is too masculine is also a pretty clear sign that the problem is the body is too masculine, which can be improved!
Happy 6th month HRT anniversary and congrats on losing 25kg!
Oh this comic hits. I really have no idea how it never entered my head that most of my confidence, image issues, apathy were tied to dysphoria. Before puberty I was a bubbly, fun, person, then puberty hit me like a ton of bricks and I went off the rails for.. well like 30 years I guess. I had so much anger all the time (of course I still have some, who couldn't today) about nothing in particular, anger at other people for no reason, and I just could not figure out why. It's not like there were no signs. I enjoyed dressing up with my sister in her sparkly dance clothes when we were kids, in 7th grade I was hanging pictures of Cory Haim and Cory Feldman from Tiger Beat magazine in my room like the girls in the class were doing, I had a whole arm full of jelly bracelets which were so cool at the time, but mainly for girls. Every time I said something like "men's clothes are so boring" what I really meant was "I really wish I could just wear womens clothes", I won the girls screaming contest at a grade school dance we had. The more I look back the more incidents like that pile up but still I was clueless about it. I feel light as air now, I care about my body and how my legs look, I can wear shorts, clothes are fun again, life is fun again
Funny part is I was always such an advocate of being yourself, being original and it turns out all those years I wasn't even being myself XD
Side note: I love the decorative antler lights so much.
ouch ðŸ˜