who's pleasure are you there for?
NSFW
i've had a sense that i'm different from some people in this regard, so i wanted to make a post about it
now, when i'm with someone, their pleasure is important to me. but it's not something i'm deriving pleasure from, myself. call it professionalism. it's important to me that they get theirs, because i want to be a good lover, i want them to have a good experience
in some sense, i'm sure, if i was railing someone and they were getting off super hard on it, i would probably be into that (not an experience i've had to date, here's hoping); but i think that would probably still be, in large part, because i was railing them (and receiving pleasure for it, myself)
and like, i don't mind doing things where i don't get off. it happens or maybe isn't convenient or whatever. i'm not a selfish lover
but, if i'm not getting off, i'm not getting off, y'know? i hear people talk about oral or whatever and they're like "WOW it feels so good (to be giving)" and i just, don't get it. it's fine, it's not bad! it's just not like, crazy good
so. when you're being intimate with someone, who's pleasure are you really there for?
(i do miss sucking cock a bit, i suppose. but there's a lot about it i don't miss, too LOL)
Well I like to let my sub orgasm till they are far gone due to it, because I like the control which turns me on. On the other hand I like to ruine orgasms also. It depends a lot on the sub.
But I also like the intimacy of just pleasuring them. I think the question is very restricting because there are folks that don't get sexual but emotional pleasure from sex in general
i think emotional pleasure is sort of what the question is about! what's that like?
I feel like it is similar to empathetic feelings in other aspects of life. I am a pretty empathetic person. If someone I am close to is happy, it makes me feel happy. If they are sad, it makes me sad. If they are sexually satisfied, it gives me a sense of satisfaction. It is not intense like an orgasm, but a warm feeling of connection, as well as some pride at being a good sex-doer.
I think levels of empathy vary between individuals. In other aspects of life, do you think you tend towards the lower end of the empathy spectrum?
not at all 💀 but being horny and unsatisfied is a very loud feeling for me, so maybe it just makes it difficult to appreciate those softer sorts of feelings
Hm in general and to be very unspecific (so wrong) I would just describe it as intimacy in this context.
But emotional pleasure is a pretty wide field. For example gratitude is a form of emotional pleasure for the giving and receiving person. It is emotionally pleasing to be grateful as is to get regococnition.
For your initial example your partner could get sexual pleasure but you get emotional pleasure from the regognition. However it could also be your self image of a reliable partner
I've had partners who cum very easily and some who sometimes can't cum at all but for all of them the best thing for me during sex was to lick them to the edge. Of course I also want to cum but often when done licking I am incredibly close to cumming myself without even touching. I am fine with just quickly cumming and thats it, the main enjoyment comes from pleasuring my partner
Yours (everyone who reads this). I guess mine, too, since what gets me off is getting someone else off.
Both. Getting a partner hot and bothered really turns me on, and I also like making her feel good. However, I do also want to feel good once we get going.
Mostly my partner's, I love making her orgasm as many times as she can stand. We never have sex until she has cum at least once from fingering, licking, or sometimes a toy.
I’m very submissive, and pleasure for me is entirely about pleasing my partner. I don’t orgasm during partnered sex, and it’s not ever something I even want.
The best sex for me is when I get into the headspace of feeling like I am an object that exists solely to provide men orgasms - when they are a little rough, when they are verbally degrading, etc. That “subspace” is very much like getting fucked up on a drug and it’s what I seek from sex. I hate receiving oral or when someone tries to play with me to attempt to give me an orgasm - I want to be a sex doll, not a person that can experience pleasure.
While that is incredibly sexy to read we would not be compatible :D
Same here, to the point where I am begging for requests, because it feels pointless to jackrabbit and debauch myself for it's own sake.
I feel so fullfilled when others get off to me, so I love to share my body!