It's not "unsexy" to communicate with your partner about what you want. If you expect them to know your body from the get-go, you're setting both them and yourself up for disappointment. This is because not everyone has the same preferences as you. Different people have different ways they like to be played during sex, and if there's anything specific that you want done, it's your responsibility to tell your partner about it. If your other finds it to "ruin the mood" to either listen to you when you communicate your desires or to communicate their own, they're not mature enough to be having sex in the first place.