How can I sabotage a lawnmower?
By neighbors’ dad insists on mowing their lawn at least twice a week, especially when I’m trying to enjoy my hammock.
How can I sabotage their mowers so it looks like normal wear and tear so that he doesn’t mow the lawn more than once a week.
inb4: suburbs suck
ETA: How does it take you three hours to mow a quarter acre on a riding mower?
49 replies
Noise-cancelling headphones.
You’d think that.
You’d really think that.
But the noise just comes through slightly muffled. It’s still BZZZRBZZZRBZZRB but more like bzzrvbzzzrcbzzzrbzzrb
And if it lasted a reasonable amount of time it would be one thing. But he’s out there. going over the same patch of lawn like five times
And then.
And then.
He mows the entire lawn AGAIN using a push mower with a bag attachment
Edit: AND HE DOESNT EVEN EMPTY THE BAG
Sprinkle the lawn with salt water at night. Takes a while but it’ll kill the grass
I’ll just wait for August when the short-ass grass all dies
Worst kind of porn
Maybe try buying him a hammock? All the other ideas lead to either a lawsuit, someone’s death or simple violence. Because littering his lawn with bike chains would be dangerous for everyone.
If I am committing violence there will be nothing simple about it
I think the last sentence was secretly a tip.
I’m usually in favor of endangering everyone except in this case I am the nearest everyone.
That’s your problem, they’re designed for people who want to waste time on their lawn and drink a beer. People who want to get it done with have zero turn mowers.
Sodium silicate in the oil. Bleach in the gas. An iron spike driven into the ground just below the height of the grass.
But really the best way to deal with it is to get over it. I know sometimes it’s hard to get over an irritating sound, but it helps your mental health if you don’t get angry about something minor and entirely outside your control
I can deal with someone like that.
The problem is it’s his daughter’s lawn. And as the dad of lady-presenting people I empathize with him to an extent.
He’s not mowing f his lawn. He’s taking care of his kid.
So I’m looking for a way to let him know his kid is safe without it barely inconveniencing me.
Well obviously you need to set up a conspiracy cult agains the Big Lawnmower and get the lady to join!
Get out your push mower, take off that shirt... Have someone subtly play Hustlin' by Rick Ross in the background and get to work
Have you tried talking to him?
Pointless. My Boomer neighbor has everything gas powered, even his coffee maker.
He’s just so nice and brings me asparagus.
But he has a CIA hat and dos this on weekdays when I try to slack off.
Asparagus does sound like a convincing argument.
Surely you could persuade him that mowing that frequently is completely unnecessary?
Apparently the smell of freshly cut grass is a distress signal.
They have large dogs and I think he excuses this behavior by saying it will help find their scat.
He doesn't seem to be very smart.
As a fellow old, it’s hard to admit we’re dumb
Do not cause permanent damage. Absolutely don't. Not worth it.
Try to sell him on something quieter. If he absolutely wants a mower he can ride on, try to sell him on a better and quieter electric one.
If he absolutely won't change, see if a noise complaint is possible (get a logging decibel meter).
And last, just unplug stuff. It can be plugged back in and it's not destructive, but IS very annoying
Yeah wtf this place is wild.
If it uses a combustion engine, you could try putting something hydrocarbon-soluble in the fuel, like polystyrene. Some of it will get past the fuel filter and foul up the carburetor (and probably the spark plug) without causing permanent damage to the engine. Removing the blockage is trivial, all you need to do is soak and rinse the parts in fresh gasoline, but the diagnosis and disassembly requires some effort and technical knowledge.
Napalm in the gas tank…
I like it
Also, I think we all should acknowledge this is Dullsters. ITT it's violence all up and down. Come on, team.
Yeah, somehow I think sabotaging another person('s property) qualifies as dramatic, not as dull. Wonder if all the upvotes are from drive-by folks who didn't check the community name. Also breaks rule 4, this isn't an advice forum.
instantly resorting to violence is pretty dull. If this was Creatives I'm sure there'd be less dull ideas.
For around $1 million USD, you would launch it into orbit.
This would not cause any additional wear and tear so it would look pretty normal (through a telescope).
Thanks, Elon.
Project Farm to the rescue: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsjKLqUnwyU
I think lapping compound destroyed it the fastest, IIRC.
Scatter stones all over the yard being mowed so it fucks up their blade.
Remove his spark plugs.
Scatter some flower seeds in the lawn. This is the pacifist route.
I like the idea of secretly converting all the mowers to electric.
If you can get to the mower just put sugar in the gas tank
Feels too traceable.i want it to look like the mower gave out because it’s being used too much
And then? He'll buy another one...
He’s using some late-70s Craftsman. There’s no money for it.
What if I buy them an electric mower and sneak it in there?
Better: Electrify the old Craftsman.
Have you considered those plain foam earplugs? Now you can get 'em at super isolating ratings. If you're in The States, give Alpine earplugs a check. Comes with a variety of noise-block interchangeable/swappable inner filters, and not for much scratch.
Noise can definitely be a nuisance, but think about what you can do for your first lines of defense. Don't go on the offense.
"Sprinkle" the lawn with some stones. Big enough to fuck the blade but little enough so he won't see them. And not many.
Okay but I have windows within “sprinkling” distance
Then there's the expensive solution: measuring the noise and see if you can call the police 🤷♂️
Ew. I’d rather release feral hogs.
Myth Busters busted this one.
https://mythbusters.fandom.com/wiki/Car_Capers
Loosen the screw that’s holding the blade in place.
I like this.
He doesn’t seem capable of fixing it himself and I’ve got a 1/4” breaker bar in the garage
Do not fucking do this. That is a lawsuit waiting to happen