Kind of a lousy point, I think, discouraging women from setting personal goals and priorities for themselves because at least they're not being abused. Maybe the point here is that the patriarchy sucks, but it sounds like a false dichotomy of supporting and engaging with the patriarchy versus bitter loneliness. To me, it invalidates women who desire healthy relationships.
I think the point is especially invalidated when they say that women in the past would've given anything to be single and child-free by choice. Obviously anyone who is sad about being single or not having kids is not in that position by choice, so it's a completely irrelevant comparison.
After reading it again a bit more carefully I totally agree with both of you. The post conflates people who are unhappy being single and people who would prefer it.
I think the point she's trying to make is "at least you're allowed to leave now" and I'm sure she didn't intend to invalidate anyone's sadness but it does come across like that a little bit and like no, having basic rights doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't be sad. Someone else having even bigger problems doesn't invalidate your own problems.
In my opinion a better version of this message would be that it's okay to enjoy being single. Because that's something that's still not always accepted by society, especially for women, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.
I disagree. It's arguing that women in the past had no choice, and women STILL don't have a choice, but they should be happy with their lack of agency because it's a different non-choice. THEN it swings into congratulating the reader for accepting their loveless fate. "End your bloodline" is pure antinatalism.
God, rhe more I read this fucking thing, the more insidious it feels.
Maybe I'm reading into it too much, but the post is speaking to someone who is unable to get married and have children, and it seems like the conclusion is basically cheer up, you're actually going to love being childless and alone. Maybe someone needs to hear that that's a valid choice, but it feels like it's too eager to dismiss the reader's desires.
Can we agree at least that "end your bloodline" is a tasteless, unnecessary flourish?
I definitely agree, that's why supporting a woman's right to choose is important. There may be good advice here about not putting your self-worth on other people (lovers or children), but it's hidden in all the talk of ancestors and bloodlines. Probably trying to score points with the witchymemes comm.
And if you want to be in a relationship, or want to have children, you are not wrong. Many people, possibly even a majority, want that in their lives. If it isn't happening in yours, maybe don't ask the internet for advice and find some real people, in relationships or with kids, to talk to about it. Maybe I'm just a bit annoyed by it all right now. My DIL just found out that after 10 years of trying, she cannot get pregnant and one of her now former friends said almost the same shit to her.
Kind of a lousy point, I think, discouraging women from setting personal goals and priorities for themselves because at least they're not being abused. Maybe the point here is that the patriarchy sucks, but it sounds like a false dichotomy of supporting and engaging with the patriarchy versus bitter loneliness. To me, it invalidates women who desire healthy relationships.
I think the point is especially invalidated when they say that women in the past would've given anything to be single and child-free by choice. Obviously anyone who is sad about being single or not having kids is not in that position by choice, so it's a completely irrelevant comparison.
After reading it again a bit more carefully I totally agree with both of you. The post conflates people who are unhappy being single and people who would prefer it.
I think the point she's trying to make is "at least you're allowed to leave now" and I'm sure she didn't intend to invalidate anyone's sadness but it does come across like that a little bit and like no, having basic rights doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't be sad. Someone else having even bigger problems doesn't invalidate your own problems.
In my opinion a better version of this message would be that it's okay to enjoy being single. Because that's something that's still not always accepted by society, especially for women, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.
I disagree. It's arguing that women in the past had no choice, and women STILL don't have a choice, but they should be happy with their lack of agency because it's a different non-choice. THEN it swings into congratulating the reader for accepting their loveless fate. "End your bloodline" is pure antinatalism.
God, rhe more I read this fucking thing, the more insidious it feels.
Maybe I'm reading into it too much, but the post is speaking to someone who is unable to get married and have children, and it seems like the conclusion is basically cheer up, you're actually going to love being childless and alone. Maybe someone needs to hear that that's a valid choice, but it feels like it's too eager to dismiss the reader's desires.
Can we agree at least that "end your bloodline" is a tasteless, unnecessary flourish?
I definitely agree, that's why supporting a woman's right to choose is important. There may be good advice here about not putting your self-worth on other people (lovers or children), but it's hidden in all the talk of ancestors and bloodlines. Probably trying to score points with the witchymemes comm.
And if you want to be in a relationship, or want to have children, you are not wrong. Many people, possibly even a majority, want that in their lives. If it isn't happening in yours, maybe don't ask the internet for advice and find some real people, in relationships or with kids, to talk to about it. Maybe I'm just a bit annoyed by it all right now. My DIL just found out that after 10 years of trying, she cannot get pregnant and one of her now former friends said almost the same shit to her.
Can't lay in bed and think of the ladies who didn't have kids. They're unrecognized as being pioneers of choice and champions of their own destiny.