I keep waking in the night every night. Everything is depressing and scary. It feels like I’m living in a different world to my normal one.
::: spoiler spoiler
Due to sods law my irl people are also busy and less available to talk to just now.
Going through photos and they just don’t seem as plentiful as they once did. (A lot are ruined too by a messy background, identifying information or I didn’t take especially good photos.) Those are all there will ever be of her now :(
I need to back these up somewhere off my phone and the cloud especially with Apple bringing in age verification or it could randomly decide there was something inappropriate and lock my account. I’m just feeling overwhelmed. There’s quite a lot of data backup I need to do, should have done years ago, but I can’t seem to get organised. And it sets off my anxiety so badly I can’t finish. I’ll have to find time and ask for help.
I don’t feel capable of doing anything right now. Things will get worse as reality sets in but people will have moved on while I’m still in it.
Melbcat was a constant support who was there no matter what and kept me going through other losses/the general shittiness of life as well as being deeply loved in her own right so this isn’t even a shadow of how bad I’m going to feel. I pick her ashes up Tuesday. Autumn and winter are kind of looming.
The chances of going off a mental health cliff at some point are high.
:::
5 replies
I keep waking in the night every night. Everything is depressing and scary. It feels like I’m living in a different world to my normal one.
::: spoiler spoiler
Due to sods law my irl people are also busy and less available to talk to just now.
Going through photos and they just don’t seem as plentiful as they once did. (A lot are ruined too by a messy background, identifying information or I didn’t take especially good photos.) Those are all there will ever be of her now :(
I need to back these up somewhere off my phone and the cloud especially with Apple bringing in age verification or it could randomly decide there was something inappropriate and lock my account. I’m just feeling overwhelmed. There’s quite a lot of data backup I need to do, should have done years ago, but I can’t seem to get organised. And it sets off my anxiety so badly I can’t finish. I’ll have to find time and ask for help.
I don’t feel capable of doing anything right now. Things will get worse as reality sets in but people will have moved on while I’m still in it.
Melbcat was a constant support who was there no matter what and kept me going through other losses/the general shittiness of life as well as being deeply loved in her own right so this isn’t even a shadow of how bad I’m going to feel. I pick her ashes up Tuesday. Autumn and winter are kind of looming.
The chances of going off a mental health cliff at some point are high. :::
so many hugs
Can you look far into the future and see a happy life?
I'm not sure. I think I might pursue some grief counselling but there's a few other structural things that really need to change for that.
Beep Beep 🚚
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Hello Chef, have some lunch. Apologies for no ramp.