Identity theft, you're not the real cm0002

Conspiracy to commit public nudity.

Copyright infringement, judging by your Lemmy history. 😛

Opening a gift early? A 12-year-old boy unwrapped his Christmas Nintendo Gameboy a day ahead; his mom called cops to teach a lesson, landing him in custody.

https://www.ign.com/articles/2006/12/06/child-arrested-for-opening-christmas-present-early

Raccoon husbandry without a license.

Illegal use of 'The Shocker' on a police officer.

Cat turd smuggling