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showerthoughts·Showerthoughtsby「黃家駒 Wong Ka Kui」(old account, migrated to Piefed)

When you experience trauma for the first time, you are alone, but when you re-experience that event (through memory), you find out you aren't actually alone, past-you and present-you share that burden

Similarly, future-you is also looking back at this moment, you aren't alone. You are a 3-dimentional creature and you perceive time linearly, but somewhere, outside of the boundaries of space-time a version of you is with you right now, watching you, accompanying you. Similarly, a past version of you, the childhood spirit of innocent and of hope, is alone traversing this journey, together.

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kittenzrulz123
lemmy.blahaj.zone

I personally find that the past me gets distorted through repression making it simultaneously feel like a completely different person and 100% me at the same time

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「黃家駒 Wong Ka Kui」(old account, migrated to Piefed)reply
sh.itjust.works

I still remember that day, I remember feeling so scared. I can almost remember that scene as if it happened mere moments ago.

Of course, not all the details, more like a blurry gif in monochrome in 480p, rather than a 4K HDR Movie. But the emotions, its very vivid.

I sort of didn't try to remember it, I know its there, I just didn't actively dig it up, but then again and again, time after time, I keep having to fight my brother. Happened so many times I lost count, probably like 10-200 fights, and constant micro-confrontations, also manipulative as hell, pretend to wanna be nice and play games with me, then I let my guard down, then later confontations happen again.

That memory just slowly leaked bit by bit until it just came back. I know it existed, I was just too weak to confront my own memories, so I try to avoid it as long as I could. Because it's very overwhelming.

But its inevitable that I have to face the past.

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doctorspike
lemmy.world

Ehhhhhh.

Every atom in your body is replaced roughly once a year.

The past me is dead and dispersed like dust in the wind. There is only present me… and I am saddled with the memory of a dead man’s life.

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When you experience trauma for the first time, you are alone, but when you re-experience that event (through memory), you find out you aren't actually alone, past-you and present-you share that burden | Spyke