There's such double standards when it comes to pets!

If a dog shits outside, it gets praise.
If I shit outside, I'm told that I'm no longer on the football team.

When a cat or dog snores, everyone (including me) thinks it's adorable.
When I snore, people start yelling and telling me that I've failed my driving test again.

What are you gonna do, call Feline Ressources?

Cat owners are the weirdest .....

C'mon! Bring your pitchforks, I'm not afraid of you!