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theonion·The Onion and other satire w/ layersbyMHLoppy

Second Amendment activists in shock as Charlie Kirk shot instead of just schoolchildren

Americans who champion the right to bear arms were shocked Wednesday as controversial commentator Charlie Kirk was shot and killed, as opposed to the ordinarily acceptable trend of mass shootings in schools.

Dale Shaw, an investment advisor from Salt Lake City, says the event has cast a shadow over his activism supporting Americans’ right to bear arms even if it leads to the most per capita school shootings of any nation on the planet.

“The Second Amendment is the foundation of American liberty,” he said. “With an armed populace I know that the occasional tragedy can occur, as it does, almost literally, every day in our nation’s schools. But Charlie is someone I actually cared about.” [...]

Second Amendment activists in shock as Charlie Kirk shot instead of just schoolchildrenhttps://www.thebeaverton.com/2025/09/second-amendment-activists-in-shock-as-charlie-kirk-shot-instead-of-just-schoolchildren/Open linkView original on fedia.io
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9 replies

aussie.zone

It's ok, Dale. Apparently therewas a school shooting on the same day.

43

Don't you tease poor Dale like that, you meanie.
Now you go give him the details of the school shooting so he can smile again, RIGHT NOW, or so help me you'll regret it!!!!!

4
Sal
lemmy.world

Nah, this is bad satire. The second amendment worked as intended here. You use it to whack tyrants and their minions, and this was a success.

2

The satire is pretty on point, as it's pretty obvious that the lives of some people are weighed more heavily than those of innocent children.

12

It's good satire. It's not making fun of the assassin for doing the killing, it's making fun of the hypocrisy of the conservative outrage farm that is trying to milk this as a tragedy.

7

You reached the end

Second Amendment activists in shock as Charlie Kirk shot instead of just schoolchildren | Spyke