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theonion·The Onion and other satire w/ layersbyMHLoppy

Group of teen girls convinces JD Vance to kill himself

Lighting up his phone night and day with their cruel taunts, a group of teenage girls reportedly convinced Vice President JD Vance to kill himself Tuesday. “Everyone I know thinks you’re so gross,” 16-year-old Bailey Hayworth said in a video message she sent to Vance, causing the vice president of the United States to throw himself on his bed as he contemplated ending everything just to stop the constant stream of barbs from the high school sophomore and her mean friends on the junior varsity volleyball team—Abigail, Paige, Payton, and Sofia. [...]

Group of teen girls convinces JD Vance to kill himselfhttps://theonion.com/group-of-teen-girls-convinces-jd-vance-to-kill-himself/Open linkView original on fedia.io
pawb.social

The one time I thought it said “nottheonion” it had to be the fucking onion.

34

Maybe tholl be one of those onion things that happens!?

4

In a cruel twist of events, the girls also killed themselves after voluntarily talking to JD

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You reached the end

Group of teen girls convinces JD Vance to kill himself | Spyke