when is "cool" fine and when is it rude?
when replying that way in any way, on text or actually just saying "cool". my friends say cool a lot and I really don't mind it and my partner says it too but some people have thought it was rude and I had a friend say "that's what I say when I don't give a damn".
15 replies
It depends both on context and on tone. Tone can make it excited or dismissive.
what if it's "Cool." over text? it seems fine to me but people have gotten similar responses saying it's passive-aggressive.
Then it's context. If you're going for the excited delivery, try throwing in a ! or a "That's" beforehand otherwise it could be misinterpreted as uncaring or dismissive.
To be honest I think it's the trailing full stop that does that. Over text I find that usually comes across like you're trying to shut down the conversation (even when you're not)
I've heard from Gen Z that ending a text response with a period is passive aggressive. So "cool" may have seemed glib on its own, but the punctuation might be giving an additional, if unintentional, tone
My wife does that. She'll say she's not mad and that she's fine but the messages start ending with a.
Thats when I know im in trouble.
I’m a millennial and I think that
To be fair, I am also a millennial, but most of my friends were surprised when I told them about that correction I received from the younger generation. I guess that says more about my friends than millennials overall lol
I'm also a millennial, and I think it depends a lot on rapport as well. If you regularly talk with someone in text form, and consistently use punctuation, it probably doesn't come off as passive aggressive than if you suddenly respond with the trailing period. It also probably makes one-word responses a lot more abrupt.
I agree with above, replying "Cool!", or "That's cool!" would likely go over much better in that context
To make sure I don't mean it to be sarcastic, I usually say "Cool cool". That usually goes over nicely
If it's saying "cool" as an end to the conversation then it's usually pretty rude. You need to show a bit of interest with a quick follow up like "how did you get it?" or "it took you a while?" and then ending the conversation is fine.
i agree, may be why op is fine with people saying "cool" like that because they are not dismissive
When "cool" is clearly an understatement about something negative or is in response to being stonewalled it is rude, otherwise it is chill.
You need to find ways to convey your intended tone of voice, that's just the way it is. You could add a smiley. Even "Cool!" already looks a lot more enthusiastic than a dry "Cool." with a full stop.
Fine: Friend: We are going to the movies on Friday OK?
You: Cool.
Not fine: Girlfriend: I love you from the bottom of my heart and I cherish all of our memories together.
You: Cool.