During my sobriety I've been taking something called suboxone. You could liken it to an opiate blocker, though it does have a degree of a sedative effect.
This becomes unnoticeable after a while.
2 months ago I decided to stop taking it, as it was no longer required.
And so it turns out the mild sedation was not so mild at all. I was emotionally numb to a degree that I had forgotten what either positive or negative really felt like.
It has been tough. I have no desire to return to my old life, I have no cravings. I've had a constant underlying headache from various parts of my body being incredibly tense since the beginning.
But coming back into the world full of feelings and a nervous system that's been half asleep for a decade has been really, really hard. Everything feels so intense, both emotionally and physically.
I love it. But it's hard work. I'm stuck in this "reconfiguration" stage and I think I've mindlessly said "man, today has been a hard day" every day for a few weeks now.
I've played the best music I've probably played in my life over the last 2 months. I feel like myself. I'm excited. But it's a struggle. Were I not already somewhat used to dealing with stuff like this by myself, I think I would have run back to the medicine.
No one I know in real life knows about what's happening. I just needed to get it out of my system.
I'm so proud of you friend, all you have survived, your willpower and perseverance is inspiring. You're the kindest most thoughtful person I've the honour of knowing. Whatever happens I know you're going to pull through and be that much more stronger for it!
Brains are amazing at recovering and reconfiguring. It will get easier. You’ve done so many hard things, and come through it. We are here for the vents any time you need it!
I feel like people don't understand the impact medication has when it flattens everything out. Drugs may get rid of the lows, but they also shave off all the highs and that can take quite a toll on you
It was in lots of flat pieces of plastic that had to be bent and attached together so it took a while, but I'm pleased with the result. I just need to get to the assembly of the bedside tables and the bedroom will be done.
I had a fever dream that nuclear war happened in the middle east and the whole world economic order basically collapsed so I jumped in my car and drove north and moved in with a family member, earning keep by cooking and cleaning and making money by painting giant paintings of wolves.
::: spoiler spoiler
That stupid FUCKING FUCK HEAD TRUMP ripping up the JCPOA
he has reverse diplomatic skills, his arrogant arseholeship insulted Iran, who while they might be cunts in regard to human rights and corruption, still have an impressive history and have autonomy that should be respected
:::
Not that I would do it (too shy), but I love the idea of greeting the REA in the nude and showing them around like that. They’d be too unsettled to notice any dust or scuff marks
Tomorrow for the Winter Solstice Games I have lots of wood, potatoes, marshmallows and chestnuts. What else do I need or need to do? Poetry? Spells? Chanting? Nudity?
Always here to support nudity and chanting. May the long night bring you peace and excitement for days to come (I don't know if that's an actual thing, it just feels cool to say)
I think you've got most of it right. Grog is helpful as chestnuts can be a bit dry and floury. Not that this is a problem, just a glass or three of the old nasty helps the medicine go down.
Skyclad is strickly for summer imo. Also if doing skyclad, then watch out for impertinent echidnas. They're a bit of a menace. I think they're in league with the fundamentalist christians.
Lots of singing helps the sun return too. So bring out your favorite playlist and have at it!!
Would never have thought as a kid I'd some day be excited to wake up early and appraise the damage the new cheapo weed burner has inflicted from the day before.
It's very relaxing for some reason.
Also the new ICU at st. vincents is very impressive. the ones I've been to before are depressing af, but that one has a huge amount of space (and less noise) which is way less confronting for patients. ol' girl was complaining about being bored and not annoyed which is good.
Am sick 🤢. In hindsight having to google the number of days in a year yesterday should have been a giveaway. throat feels like hell. Back to bed I guess.
To take that one step further, it is easy to find out the day of the week next year because 365 days = 52 weeks plus one day.
That means:
2026's June 20 is a Saturday
2027's is Sunday.
2028 is a leap year where there is an extra day in February, so we count an extra day: 2028's June 20 is a Tuesday.
My body is sore in a good way (from workouts), it's a sunny Friday and I'm WFH, I had a full night's sleep... so why am I feeling like a grump this morning? REA inspection maybe? A creaky bra that sounds like a fuckin' old ship? Just the cold in general? Gahhhh. I think I need some chocolate. Ohhh I think I'm hungry.
Have just been informed by a nurse friend that sinus rinses might cause false Covid negative tests from the nose. My body feel over test result might not have been in error. Ugh. Throat swabs in future I guess.
Book review. Have just finished listening to the audio book The Wager. It’s a naval history book, not something I’d never normally select but it came strongly recommended. It is a WILD story. 1700s journey from Britain to South America. Shipwrecked, stranded, scurvy, starvation. Human behaviour and choices in the face of these extreme circumstances. And somehow a few barely alive survivors made it back after several years. Their story was a public sensation in its time. Early in the book I had to pause a few times to look up various naval terms, but was pretty easy listening otherwise. Very engaging.
Working from home today, just because. It's been a mentally big week with the ecommerce launch and Head Office country has a public holiday today so not much would be getting done anyway
Starting to be like clockwork, mum and aunts share some shit on WhatsApp and I have to tell them to check for AI... One aunt in particular is very susceptible and keeps sharing stuff that should be questionable from the get go. Really I don't know what to tell her when we get to the point of what comes after VEO 3. When I go visit her in a couple months I think I need to sit down with her and go through some examples. "But it sounds just like David Attenborough!"
It's a great game! I keep going back to play it again, and the radio is so good!! All the songs are so funny, or boppy, the innuendos! Old timey goodness!
Bought too much daikon recently and ended up making two types of quick pickled radish.
Korean style and Vietnamese style. Seems that the main difference was the use of white vinegar in the Korean one and Rice wine vinegar in the Viet one.
Perhaps we used crappy rice vinegar, but the Viet style turned out pretty bad.
The Korean ones were absolutely fantastic and will be doing it over and over again.
Equal part water, sugar and vinegar. I used boiled water to disolve the sugar and stir through. Added a bit of salt (didn't measure that part) and poured it over the cubed daikon in a jar.
Left in fridge overnight and it was beautiful.
You can probably mess around with other spices, but that's all I did.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT.
I just passed my Learners . It's been a while since I've driven so I thought I should take the tests and lessons again.
I got two wrong but it was just being overly cautious 😬
🍻
!
Congrats 🥂
that is so me 🥺
Yay!!! Go you!!! Congrats!!! 🍺
ee! well done!
Yay!!!
Congratulations on both your successful passing of the test and your cautious attitude. I wish more people on the road were like you!
Yay! Congrats!
OMG that's SO exciting, Goons!!
Thank you all so much for your kind thoughts. 😄😘
Congratulations!!
During my sobriety I've been taking something called suboxone. You could liken it to an opiate blocker, though it does have a degree of a sedative effect.
This becomes unnoticeable after a while.
2 months ago I decided to stop taking it, as it was no longer required.
And so it turns out the mild sedation was not so mild at all. I was emotionally numb to a degree that I had forgotten what either positive or negative really felt like.
It has been tough. I have no desire to return to my old life, I have no cravings. I've had a constant underlying headache from various parts of my body being incredibly tense since the beginning.
But coming back into the world full of feelings and a nervous system that's been half asleep for a decade has been really, really hard. Everything feels so intense, both emotionally and physically.
I love it. But it's hard work. I'm stuck in this "reconfiguration" stage and I think I've mindlessly said "man, today has been a hard day" every day for a few weeks now.
I've played the best music I've probably played in my life over the last 2 months. I feel like myself. I'm excited. But it's a struggle. Were I not already somewhat used to dealing with stuff like this by myself, I think I would have run back to the medicine.
No one I know in real life knows about what's happening. I just needed to get it out of my system.
Thanks for listening.
/vent
It's an incredibly hard thing you've gone through.
We're here for you man, always. you're a kind soul and don't forget that.
If you’ve through a lot but I’ve also had the fortitude to get through it.
You’re a good person and deserve everything that life has to offer.
It's a great achievement to even put that into words, well done!
So many hugs. You're incredibly brave and strong, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. ( and good too. )
Thank you :)
I'm so proud of you friend, all you have survived, your willpower and perseverance is inspiring. You're the kindest most thoughtful person I've the honour of knowing. Whatever happens I know you're going to pull through and be that much more stronger for it!
I knoww. Plus he's the best cat dad in the world .😭
That's really kind of you :)
We are always listening, my dude. We've got your back!
Brains are amazing at recovering and reconfiguring. It will get easier. You’ve done so many hard things, and come through it. We are here for the vents any time you need it!
I feel like people don't understand the impact medication has when it flattens everything out. Drugs may get rid of the lows, but they also shave off all the highs and that can take quite a toll on you
Back from daily vitamin D exposure. The sun is glorious with light winds too, perfect winter’s day. Vibes are high for Friday arvo.
::: spoiler Bedroom light shade is up :::
It was in lots of flat pieces of plastic that had to be bent and attached together so it took a while, but I'm pleased with the result. I just need to get to the assembly of the bedside tables and the bedroom will be done.
That's really pretty 😄
I had a fever dream that nuclear war happened in the middle east and the whole world economic order basically collapsed so I jumped in my car and drove north and moved in with a family member, earning keep by cooking and cleaning and making money by painting giant paintings of wolves.
As fever dreams go, it was ok
may I go political?
::: spoiler spoiler That stupid FUCKING FUCK HEAD TRUMP ripping up the JCPOA
he has reverse diplomatic skills, his arrogant arseholeship insulted Iran, who while they might be cunts in regard to human rights and corruption, still have an impressive history and have autonomy that should be respected :::
100%. It's the utter stupidity of it all.
You are welcome to ride dream-shotgun in my trip to a quiet future out bush painting and chilling with wolves.
I only found out about what's happening from your post.
And to be honest, that works just fine for me.
Oh yeah sorry. I think I fell asleep listening to ABC Radio..
No need to apologise :) It just made me realise how much I've eased up on my old doom scrolling habit.
Not that I would do it (too shy), but I love the idea of greeting the REA in the nude and showing them around like that. They’d be too unsettled to notice any dust or scuff marks
What? This is what I always wear at home
Enforced is a rather strong word. Clothing optional surely.
I could do with a cleaning gimp...
Tomorrow for the Winter Solstice Games I have lots of wood, potatoes, marshmallows and chestnuts. What else do I need or need to do? Poetry? Spells? Chanting? Nudity?
Oh yes please it is finally solstice we were about to remove the Sun here
I will pray for you, bacon. 🙏
Thank you.
Always here to support nudity and chanting. May the long night bring you peace and excitement for days to come (I don't know if that's an actual thing, it just feels cool to say)
I think you've got most of it right. Grog is helpful as chestnuts can be a bit dry and floury. Not that this is a problem, just a glass or three of the old nasty helps the medicine go down.
Skyclad is strickly for summer imo. Also if doing skyclad, then watch out for impertinent echidnas. They're a bit of a menace. I think they're in league with the fundamentalist christians.
Lots of singing helps the sun return too. So bring out your favorite playlist and have at it!!
Effigies of your enemies to toss into the fire? Arrange some stones into a henge?
Arrange some enemies into a henge!
I don't have any enemies that I know of 😔
Chips?
Chips on a bonfire?
Oh didnt realise there was a bonfire. Oops!
No problem!
Pretty lights
lights pretty
Oooh I love that stand!
Would never have thought as a kid I'd some day be excited to wake up early and appraise the damage the new cheapo weed burner has inflicted from the day before.
It's very relaxing for some reason.
Also the new ICU at st. vincents is very impressive. the ones I've been to before are depressing af, but that one has a huge amount of space (and less noise) which is way less confronting for patients. ol' girl was complaining about being bored and not annoyed which is good.
bored is very good 🙂
I hope she gets better soon
Weed burner? Some people call that a bong.
Punching billies w/ that thing would send you straight to ICU.
I'm sure someone's tried it though lol.
Am sick 🤢. In hindsight having to google the number of days in a year yesterday should have been a giveaway. throat feels like hell. Back to bed I guess.
Same ☹️. Seems to be going around. I coughed so much yesterday I saw sparkles. Hope both of us feel better soon
Downvoted for being sick? Ok 🤷🏻
I have no idea if what you just said makes any sense at all or if it's a joke
To take that one step further, it is easy to find out the day of the week next year because 365 days = 52 weeks plus one day.
That means:
2026's June 20 is a Saturday
2027's is Sunday.
2028 is a leap year where there is an extra day in February, so we count an extra day: 2028's June 20 is a Tuesday.
My puny brain can't understand either of you
it's alright zombies will eat us first
I was not aware of it, and now that I am I refuse to engage with it.
My body is sore in a good way (from workouts), it's a sunny Friday and I'm WFH, I had a full night's sleep... so why am I feeling like a grump this morning? REA inspection maybe? A creaky bra that sounds like a fuckin' old ship? Just the cold in general? Gahhhh. I think I need some chocolate. Ohhh I think I'm hungry.
You're at home with a bra on. That's what's wrong. Rip it off and grab a hot cuppa.
They must be contained for the sake of humanity. Also, I need to go out and get milk for said cuppa, which requires the bra.
True and no one outside needs to see that the high beams are on.
Hey now, let's not get ahead of ourselves here.......
Have just been informed by a nurse friend that sinus rinses might cause false Covid negative tests from the nose. My body feel over test result might not have been in error. Ugh. Throat swabs in future I guess.
Or just give it an hour or two since your last rinse before you test
I forgot to post the results of dinner last night.
I may have put way too much chicken. The pot is overflowing with sauce and chicken and the bacon I added.
I was expecting the bacon to be salty but it didn’t really come out overpowering.
Also I think the Aldi sauce I used had a lot of garlic in it but it’s back to its tasty best.
Felt like the quality had dropped over the last couple of months.
brrr
good morning everyone
Morning, 'tis a fresh one this morn
8 hours till drumkit set up!!!!!!
6 hours till I'm drunk and singing!!!
I'll be a few hours behind you but I'm so there!
I'll be drumming with you in spirit lol
3 hours and a bit and I can knock off and maybe have a nap.
That nap is a damn good idea
About to take it. Got kicked out of my workspace at my secondary site.
Called my boss and was allowed ti work from home so nap is coming then over for an hour somewhere!
Oh cool! What kit did you get?
I finally got around to setting up my double kick pedal again last night. Now I just need to play more
Sorry for the late response man, hectic few days.
I got the Roland td07dmk. I figured having an electric kit would be a good starting point and I can play poorly quietly lol
Cheers pilgrims 🍺
*This post was brought to you by the lovely afternoon sunshine
🍻🍻🍻
🍻 🍻 🍻
🍾 🥂
Cheers Spinny 🍺. 'Ave a good one.
Onya
🍺
🍬
🍺
Have been out of the gym for 2 months-ish. There was a huge billing issue and I couldn't be fucked dealing with it.
All sorted now.
Straight there after work. Bring on the happy chemicals.
Edit: Apparently there's been a huge data breach of Google, Apple, Facebook etc passwords.
You’re kidding me, another data breach?
Just finished Expedition 33. I know I was coming to the end and I'm still... but why. Why.
I haven't even started yet.
I cannot wait to follow along when you do! I want to know allllll of your thoughts and adventures!
😹 okay, I will take little videos and do a commentary, even if I have to learn how to do so. 😄
Omg can you pleeeease. I would love that!!
Who's ending did you choose?
::: spoiler spoiler Verso. But I'll go back and play Maelle's once I've stopped crying. :::
Same. My son just started playing, I gave him a hint on what to do when he gets there.
I hope your son loves it as much as so many of us!!
He's avoided watching me, but knows enough.
So far he's loving it.
A wild ride wasn’t it?
I couldn’t put it down once I started.
I'm not ready to. I went into finale somehow hoping it wasn't actually the finale and kept shouting NO NO NO NO NO NO
Haha I was kicked out of my workspace at my alternate workplace. No where else I can move to so I’m going home!
I think I will spend most my time on holiday in NZ reading and studying. I'll have no cats to bug and disturb me. 🙂
No. You'll be out there sightseeing.
Miss Seagoon has planned some trips to Auckland and to Hobbiton, but all the other time i can just spend reading and studying. 🙂
yes, there will be photos 😊
Have to second the sightseeing.
We demand piccys!
This sunny weather is too beautiful to stay home. I must beach.
This stuff is currently trending on my toast. So good with peanut butter.
yum, I've been having creamed honey on my toast too, so delicious
Nice 😊
Book review. Have just finished listening to the audio book The Wager. It’s a naval history book, not something I’d never normally select but it came strongly recommended. It is a WILD story. 1700s journey from Britain to South America. Shipwrecked, stranded, scurvy, starvation. Human behaviour and choices in the face of these extreme circumstances. And somehow a few barely alive survivors made it back after several years. Their story was a public sensation in its time. Early in the book I had to pause a few times to look up various naval terms, but was pretty easy listening otherwise. Very engaging.
I feel like today is going to be a good day.
Better not prove me wrong world!! I'll fucking get ya if you do.
Working from home today, just because. It's been a mentally big week with the ecommerce launch and Head Office country has a public holiday today so not much would be getting done anyway
Starting to be like clockwork, mum and aunts share some shit on WhatsApp and I have to tell them to check for AI... One aunt in particular is very susceptible and keeps sharing stuff that should be questionable from the get go. Really I don't know what to tell her when we get to the point of what comes after VEO 3. When I go visit her in a couple months I think I need to sit down with her and go through some examples. "But it sounds just like David Attenborough!"
Been listening to my old playlist of German music, and I'm pleased I remember the vast majority of the lyrics.
This is a classic - I love Jennifer Rostock
Der Horizont - Jennifer Rostock
We were warned almost ten years ago of the rise of Neo Nazis, just sayin' lol
Gute Menschen - OK KID
Was der Bauer nicht kennt - Alligatoah
If your man ain't treating you right
Come up and see ol' Dan
I rock 'em, roll 'em all night long
I'm a sixty-minute man, oh yeah
Sixty-minute man
Elder is a mad keen Fallout 4 fan. I love the Radio show on that game!
It's a great game! I keep going back to play it again, and the radio is so good!! All the songs are so funny, or boppy, the innuendos! Old timey goodness!
Bought too much daikon recently and ended up making two types of quick pickled radish.
Korean style and Vietnamese style. Seems that the main difference was the use of white vinegar in the Korean one and Rice wine vinegar in the Viet one.
Perhaps we used crappy rice vinegar, but the Viet style turned out pretty bad.
The Korean ones were absolutely fantastic and will be doing it over and over again.
I'd love to try this - any other ingredients?
For the Korean one.
Equal part water, sugar and vinegar. I used boiled water to disolve the sugar and stir through. Added a bit of salt (didn't measure that part) and poured it over the cubed daikon in a jar.
Left in fridge overnight and it was beautiful.
You can probably mess around with other spices, but that's all I did.
The Viet one was this https://www.recipetineats.com/vietnamese-pickled-carrots-daikon/#recipe
Awesome thanks. I will often chop up red onion and pop it in a similar mix. Nice on salads.
oooh....I'll add some to my mix today
I don’t know why but I don’t think I’ve been falling into a deep sleep for the last month when I go to sleep.
I had an early night last night and woke up later than usual.
I don’t feel tired which is good but I don’t think I fell into a deep sleep like I used to?
Beep Beep 🚚
🍏🍎🍐🍊🍋🍈🫐🍓🍇🍉🍌🍒🍑🥭🍍🥥🥦🥑🫛🍆🍅🥝🥬🥒🌽🥕🥐🍠🫚🥔🧅🥯🍞🥖🥨🧀🧇🥞🧈🍳🥚🥓🥩🍗🍖🫓🍕🍟🍔🌭🥙🧆🌮🌯🥗🍲🍜🍝🥘🍛🍣🍱🥟🦪🍥🍘🍚🍙🐠🍤🪼🦀🐙 🍗🥮🍢🍡🍧🍰🧁🥧🍦🍨🎂🍮🍭🍬🍫🥜🌰🍪🍿🍯🥛☕️🍵🍺🍶🥤🧋🧃🥂🍷🥃🍸🍹🧉🔋
A delicious tonic to stave off the various lurgies please doctor
In order to avoid trouble with the law, please address us as omnipotent healers
🍋🫚🍯💊🍵
Thank you Jesus!
🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪
🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪
🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪
🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪
🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪
🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪
🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪
🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪🦪
The service has been paid for by our other business.
We are omnipresent.
Hmmmm.. I'd like some brains on this chilly morning please chef, uncooked, neurons still firing (if possible)
That is a creative way to say you want Japanese seafood 🐟🐙🦐🦀
Peek-a-boo!
busy day again 🙂
first to touch up my hair
more painting and organising my study room
admin
study
prep for travel
4th coat of paint on the 2nd bedside table finished and the brushes and stuff cleaned up
tomorrow it's touch ups, finish lining the drawers, clean the mirror and then most of whole suite is done 😊
I'll fix and paint the dressing chair when I come back from NZ
I am now having a much enjoyed hot milo