Two sausages are sitting in a frying pan. One looks over at the other and says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?" The other replies, "AHHH! IT'S A TALKING SAUSAGE!"
Two men are out on the lake in kayaks fishing. One of them says "Man it's so cold out here, all my body heat is going straight into the water." The other says "Well get that newspaper you brought with and light a fire, warm yourself up." So he does, he rolls up the paper, lights it with his lighter, it catches the boat on fire and it sinks.
Just goes to show you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
I don't often tell dad jokes, but when I do, he laughs.
Oh I groaned good one
Two sausages are sitting in a frying pan. One looks over at the other and says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?" The other replies, "AHHH! IT'S A TALKING SAUSAGE!"
Haha fucking brilliant nice one dad
Haha!
I remember this one as muffins in an oven.
I've heard it with muffins as well, but I maintain that sausages are funnier.
Where do bad rainbows go?
To prism. It's a light sentence but gives them time to refract
Brilliant! This one is genius
Mine don't translate well to English. Judging by the way my teenager sighs, rolls their eyes, and closes the door, I'll assume they are pretty good
Share them in their original language, then!
Whenever you feel like things are unfair, remember that Laura Croft's entire life has been in ruins.
::: spoiler Why does a chicken coop have two doors? If it had four doors it'd be a chicken sedan. :::
Well, I would have to say the one that always used to make you laugh the most.
Why do teenage girls always walk in odd-number groups?
Because they literally can't even.
Sadly, I never got you to laugh at 2, 3, 5 and 7
now that is some prime humor...
ok, this made me laugh irl
Hey Kiddo, what's brown and sounds like a bell?
I dont get it??
Dung
relevant username
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
What’s brown and rhymes with snoop?
Two men are out on the lake in kayaks fishing. One of them says "Man it's so cold out here, all my body heat is going straight into the water." The other says "Well get that newspaper you brought with and light a fire, warm yourself up." So he does, he rolls up the paper, lights it with his lighter, it catches the boat on fire and it sinks.
Just goes to show you can't have your kayak and heat it too.