RFK Jr. Encourages Americans To Do Their Own Research About Dragons
https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-encourages-americans-to-do-their-own-research-about-dragons/Open linkView original on lemmy.todaySyndicated from the fediverse. Read and engage on the original instance.
View original on lemmy.today
https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-encourages-americans-to-do-their-own-research-about-dragons/Open linkView original on lemmy.today
40 replies
I bit the onion.
You know the weird shit about this headline? If it hadn't been from The Onion, this could have been a real statement from RFK Jr.
As I was scrolling the post up and read the headline, I was completely ready to believe it actually happened until I scrolled enough to see the link to the onion.
Indeed. It would be 100% fitting to this guys other ... blurbs.
Years ago, I would have immediately recognised this as an Onion article. Today, I have to admit that I didn't recognise it before clicking on the link and seeing the page.
Recently there's been multiple onion articles that made my heart drop in the moments before realizing it was the onion.
And then one actually wound up being true days later
Does this make Game of Thrones a documentary, or a nature program?
With that amount of nudity, it’s a NatGeo series now.
A documentary. Like Jurassic Park.
Dragon these nuts across his face!
The man has chased his share of dragons - we can trust him on this one!
I’m researching how to sneak a Komodo dragon into RFK’s bedroom so it will eat him while he sleeps.
Komodo hunt by biting a limb, then waiting for the target to die from infected wounds after several days. No restful sleep for RFK, not until the moment is nigh.
The komodo bacteria will have to compete with all the weird shit that's already in his body though. So it's not a sure thing.
I fully ate the Onion with the headline. Absolutely no doubt, just resignation. Only coincidentally saw the community.
Same, so plausible these days
Wait till he hears that dragons are from China.
I don't think that that's the case. I remember reading something about theories about independent development of dragon traditions based on discovery of exposed dinosaur fossils.
kagis
Wikipedia says that the earliest stuff we have records of are from the Near East, but that it's not clear where origins were. Possible that they independently developed.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragon
Sounds woke with all that multiculturalism and rainbows. Only 'Murican dragons for real 'Muricans.
Candace Owens doesn't believe in dinosaurs, he may as well think this, we live in profoundly stupid times
What's more dumb? Not believing in dinosaurs despite us having bones to prove their existence or believing in dragons which aren't that far off from the dinosaurs? I guess the crazy thing is believing dragons exist on earth right now and they are living somewhere unbeknownst to man.
And besides, space dragons are way cooler anyways.
The Hungarian Horntail— Oooooooo!!!
I eat the onion again. Damn you.
Dragons exist, they are called attack helicopters.
This isn't a reference to that shitty gender joke, it is just an observation that dragons are reptile attack helicopters with their range nerfed.
Hmm. I'm not entirely sold that a flamethrower would be an effective weapon against a modern main battle tank.
Do you have ANY idea how hot a typical dragon fireball is??
Besides, Fire Dragons are mostly cooks, glassblowers and welders.
Anti-Tank Dragons are most typically Rust Dragons or Mud Dragons.
Hmm. No, I don't.
considers
Hmm. I mean, it's orange, right? So figure black-body radiation determines the color.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black-body_radiation
So maybe something like 2000°F, 1100°C?
But I'm more thinking that a tank probably has a lot of thermal mass, and I figure that the dragon probably isn't keeping sustained fire on the thing for all that long. I mean, I've no doubt that dragon fire would be horrific in an anti-personnel role, but against heavy armor? It's gonna take a lot of energy to heat that up.
EDIT: I feel like a "how would the 1st Armored Division do against Smaug" would be a good ![email protected] question.
NCD would tell you that question has already been answered by an anime called GATE.
Does the dragon fire deplete the tank of oxygen?
That could cause engine issues and crew issues, depending on duration.
I am sorry... but you do know all Fire Dragons are classified under Magma Breathers right? Do you honestly think dragons shit on their entire food chain, topple kingdoms and hoard rich people stuff, gems, jewels, rubies, the swords of kings.... just to emphasize how little they give af..... by blowing hot air?
Yes Fire Dragons can easily blow hot air the way a roaring fire can easily blow hot air up into the sky, but if you think that is all Fire Dragons can do you need to educate yourself.
No, they create a quantum tunnel to the heart of a nearby magma chamber and then dispense it directly onto the face of whatever they want to melt, I feel silly even having to explain this honestly.
Prove me wrong and drive a tank through this I dare you
https://youtu.be/grVuuaecwgA
I will admit I had to scroll back up (or do a double take) to realize this was no real.
That is sad.
You just need twenty good men and ballista and you can kill all the dragons easily
Of all things, that would be the least dangerous of all to suggest.
Chinese propaganda depicting dragons as 'lame floating snakes with mustaches'. I'm so offended! 😆
Funny enough I know people IRL who are right wing and think that dragons existed
My older brother thought dragons existed, because of this "documentary".
Biblical dragons?
Basically and I think also from a Joe Rogan podcast. My Christian high school also taught about them in science class and pulled photos from shady websites to convince people most of whom actually believed it.
I knew this was fake as soon as I saw the logo.