You found what on my web history?!

"Hey bro, your alarm went of like, 4 times already. You're gonna be late for work."

DO YOU HAVE GAMES ON YOUR PHONE!?

Rob Schneider, is a jumping spider! Rated PG13

Hey my guy, I know you were just cracking a joke about teeth hair… but I just want you to know that your joke was insensitive and it really hurt my feelings.

I have a condition and hair on my teeth is not something I can control, okay? So can we stop with the teeth hair jokes?

Teeth hair.

Hey! Do you want to make an app? I have an idea for an app.

When you realise you've been caught in a web of your own lies.

Have you seen my tweezers.

I can't believe you paid for winrar

WE'VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU ABOUT YOUR CAR'S EXTENDED WARRANTY

Mfw I turn on the selfie camera.

This makes me highly uncomfortable

See kids? Monsters not bad! Monsters just... different! And different not bad!

Young Bobby was so eager for his beard to grow in, but this is not what he had in mind. being 15 is rough.

"Have you seen my possum? "

"in that mere fraction of a second, regret set in as Rolf realized the zipper had snagged his beans"

I have… Understandings

Hello skinny hooman

The spider in the corner when they see you destroying their home

There is no try. Only do.

I can haz cheezeburger?

Spider Mench

This is how it feels to chew 5 Gum

It was an alright Adam Sandler film.

Lycosidae Mirum

Who? Me?

"How do you like my grasshopper cosplay?"